Notting Hill Page #6

WILLIAM:

Bernie.

BERNIE:

Well, obviously it's me, isn't it --

I work in the City in a job I don't

understand and everyone keeps getting

promoted above me. I haven't had a

girlfriends since... puberty and,

well, the long and short of it is,

nobody fancies me, and if these cheeks

get any chubbier, they never will.

HONEY:

Nonsense. I fancy you. Or I did

before you got so far.

MAX:

You see -- and unless I'm much mistaken,

your job still pays you rather a lot of

money, while Honey here, she earns

nothing flogging her guts out at

London's seediest record store.

HONEY:

Yes. And I don't have hair -- I've got

feathers, and I've got funny goggly

eyes, and I'm attracted to cruel men and

... no one'll ever marry me because my

boosies have actually started

shrinking.

MAX:

You see -- incredibly sad.

BELLA:

On the other hand, her best friend is

Anna Scott.

HONEY:

That's true, I can't deny it. She

needs me, what can I say?

BELLA:

And most of her limbs work. Whereas

I'm stuck in its thing day and night,

in a house full of ramps. And to add

insult to serious injury -- I've

totally given up smoking, my favourite

thing, and the truth is... we can't

have a baby.

Dead silence.

WILLIAM:

Bella.

Bella shrugs her shoulders. Bernie is totally grief-struck.

BERNIE:

No. Not true...

BELLA:

C'est la vie... We're lucky in lots

of ways, but... Surely it's worth a

brownie.

William reaches for her hand. Max breaks the sombre mood.

MAX:

Well, I don't know. Look at

William. Very unsuccessful

professionally. Divorced. Used to

be handsome, now kind of squidgy

around the edges -- and absolutely

certain never to hear from Anna again

after she's heard that his nickname

at school was Floppy.

They all laugh. Anna smiles across at William.

WILLIAM:

So I get the brownie?

MAX:

I think you do, yes.

ANNA:

Wait a minute. What about me?

MAX:

I'm sorry? You think you deserve the

brownie?

ANNA:

Well... a shot at it.

WILLIAM:

You'll have to prove it. This is a

great brownie and I'm going to fight

for it. State your claim.

ANNA:

Well, I've been on a diet since I was

nineteen, which means basically I've

been hungry for a decade. I've had a

sequence of not nice boyfriends -- one

of whom hit me:
and every time my heart

gets broken it gets splashed across

the newspapers as entertainment.

Meantime, it cost millions to get me

looking like this...

HONEY:

Really?

ANNA:

Really -- and one day, not long from

now...

While she says this, quiet settles around the table. The thing

is -- she sort of means it and is opening up to them.

ANNA:

... my looks will go, they'll find out

I can't act and I'll become a sad

middle-aged woman who looks a bit like

someone who was famous for a while.

Silence... they all look at her... then.

MAX:

Nah!!! Nice try, gorgeous -- but you

don't fool anyone.

The mood is instantly broken. They all laugh.

WILLIAM:

Pathetic effort to hog the brownie.

INT. MAX AND BELLA'S KITCHEN/LIVING ROOM/CORRIDOR - NIGHT

Anna and William are leaving.

ANNA:

That was such a great evening.

MAX:

I'm delighted.

He holds out his hand to shake. She kisses him on the cheek.

He stumbles back with joy.

ANNA:

And may I say that's a gorgeous tie.

MAX:

Now you're lying.

ANNA:

You're right. I told you I was bad

at acting.

Max loves this.

ANNA:

(to Bella)

Lovely to meet you.

BELLA:

And you. I'll wait till you've gone

before I tell him you're a

vegetarian.

MAX:

No!

ANNA:

Night, night, Honey.

HONEY:

I'm so sorry about the loo thing.

I meant to leave but I just...

look, ring me if you need someone to

go shopping with. I know lots of

nice, cheap places... not that money

necessarily...

(gives up)

nice to meet you.

And Honey gives her a huge hug.

ANNA:

You too -- from now on you are my

style guru.

Anna and William head out... Bernie tries to save some dignity.

BERNIE:

Love your work.

They move to the door and wave goodbye.

EXT. MAX AND BELLA'S HOUSE - NIGHT

William and Anna step outside. From inside they hear a massive

and hysterical scream of the friends letting out their true

feelings. William is a little embarrassed.

WILLIAM:

Sorry -- they always do that when I

leave the house.

The house is in Lansdowne Road, on the edge of Notting Hill.

They walk for a moment. A bit of silence.

ANNA:

Floppy, huh?

WILLIAM:

It's the hair! It's to do with the

hair.

ANNA:

Why is she in a wheelchair?

WILLIAM:

It was an accident -- about eighteen

months ago.

ANNA:

And the pregnancy thing -- is that to

do with the accident?

WILLIAM:

You know, I'm not sure. I don't

think they'd tried for kids before,

as fate would have it.

They walk in silence for a moment. Then...

WILLIAM:

Would you like to come... my house is

just...?

She smiles and shakes her head.

ANNA:

Too complicated.

WILLIAM:

That's fine.

ANNA:

Busy tomorrow?

WILLIAM:

I thought you were leaving.

ANNA:

I was.

EXT. NOTTING HILL GARDEN - NIGHT

A little later in the walk.

ANNA:

What's in there?

They are now walking by a five foot railing, with foliage

behind it.

WILLIAM:

Gardens. All these streets round

here have these mysterious communal

gardens in the middle of them.

They're like little villages.

ANNA:

Let's go in.

WILLIAM:

Ah no -- that's the point -- they're

private villages -- only the people

who live round the edges are allowed

in.

ANNA:

You abide by rules like that?

WILLIAM:

Ahm...

Her look makes it clear that she is waiting with interest on

the answer to this.

WILLIAM:

Heck no -- other people do -- but not

me -- I just do what I want.

He rattles the gate, then starts his climb -- but doesn't quite

make it, and falls back onto the pavement...

WILLIAM:

(casually)

Whoopsidaisies.

ANNA:

What did you say?

WILLIAM:

Nothing.

ANNA:

Yes, you did.

WILLIAM:

No, I didn't.

ANNA:

You said 'whoopsidaisies.'

Tiny pause.

WILLIAM:

I don't think so. No one has said

'whoopsidaisies,' do they -- I mean

unless they're...

ANNA:

There's no 'unless.' No one has said

"whoopsidaisies" for fifty years and

even then it was only little girls

with blonde ringlets.

WILLIAM:

Exactly. Here we go again.

He fails, and unfortunately, spontaneously...

WILLIAM:

Whoopsidaisies.

They look at each other.

WILLIAM:

It's a disease I've got -- it's a

clinical thing. I'm taking pills and

having injections -- it won't last

long.

ANNA:

Step aside.

She starts to climb.

WILLIAM:

Actually be careful Anna -- it's

harder than it looks...

But she's already almost over.

WILLIAM:

Oh no it's not -- it's easy.

A few seconds later. Anna jumps down into the garden.

ANNA:

Come on, Flops.

William clambers over with terrible difficulty, dusts himself

off, and heads towards where she stands.

WILLIAM:

Now seriously -- what in the world

in this garden could make that

ordeal worthwhile?

She leans forward -- and, for the firs time since the first

time -- she kisses him. This time a proper kiss. A tiny pause.

WILLIAM:

Nice garden.

EXT. MAGIC GARDEN - NIGHT

They walk around the garden. It's a moonlit dream. We see

the lights of the houses that surround the garden. They come

across a single, simple wooden bench.

Rate this script:4.4 / 5 votes