Nuestros amantes Page #3

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I like most in a woman?

- Surprise me.

- Her defects.

Then you'll fall

head over heels for me.

No.

You forbade me.

It's dangerous, remember?

And you listen to me as well?

You might be

the classic female fantasy.

Are there any

Manic Pixie Dream Boys?

Who knows?

Why not find out for yourself?

I've told you lots of things.

Next week you'll have to answer

loads of uncomfortable questions.

It's best to get nasty things

out of the way quickly.

The day after tomorrow?

All right.

Do you know this place?

- Yes.

- Perfect, because I don't.

My partner recommended it.

How about lunch?

Sure. About 3 o'clock?

Yes. I'll be with Paulo Coelho,

thinking about our nonsense.

See you then, Manic Elf.

Goodbye, Manic Pixie.

I like our new names!

Hello, love.

I hear you've embarked

on a new professional undertaking.

Yes, mom, I've got a new job.

That's great.

Shall I open the champagne?

Turn on the tap. It only deserves

a toast with water.

It's not what you wanted?

Well, I don't need my degree.

Changing the subject,

is it cold in Teruel?

What's the job?

Something I do without describing,

or else I'd slit my wrists.

You're joking, aren't you?

Yes, and anyway

I can't afford razor blades.

Do you need money?

If you offered me 300 euros

I wouldn't say no.

- I'll send you 500 tomorrow.

- Thanks, mom.

And don't get depressed.

I'll see what I can do.

Love you.

Love you too.

Don't worry,

I haven't bled to death.

Hello.

I'm in the place where we met.

The night misses you.

What do you want?

Shouldn't you be on the lyre,

making rhymes?

Why do I have to want something?

Because, Jorge,

you always want something.

What do you think I want?

To know if I'm still hung up on you

after how you hurt me.

I just want to know

if you're all right.

- What?

- I keep thinking about you.

- You're joking, right?

- No.

Are you sure?

It would be easier to forget myself

than to forget you.

I remember you.

You're an a**hole.

Listen, Irene,

it doesn't take an expert in Freud

to see you're in pain, but...

No, I'm not all right.

I'm a f***ing mess

because an a**hole sicko

and/or sack of sh*t

left me for something better!

Nothing's better than you.

- Are you seeing someone?

- Of course not.

So, several someones.

Maybe it was a bad idea to call you.

Not as bad as the Nazi holocaust,

but no, it wasn't good.

I'm hanging up

because I am seeing someone.

- Who is it?

- You know what?

- It's none of your business.

- What's his name?

F*** you!

That's his name!

You want to make me jealous?

Don't dare flirt with me.

He has the only thing I need

right now in a man. He isn't you!

Don't bother firing me.

I'm quitting.

Sorry,

I hate you seeing me like this.

Ready for

loads of uncomfortable questions?

All right.

Are you married?

She hasn't asked if you're married?

No.

Is that good or bad?

Both things.

Good, if she likes you so much

she doesn't care if you're married.

Bad, if she doesn't want to sleep

with you and so she doesn't care.

I didn't say

I wanted to sleep with her.

- Yes, you did.

- No, I didn't.

Yes,

when you said she was really nice.

You're a guy.

If you like a girl,

of course you'd like to screw her.

Girls, on the other hand,

are a different matter.

They may like you,

but not to use you sexually.

It's for something more sinister.

- To devour our souls?

- Worse.

So that you listen to them.

Listen to them and...?

That's all!

They don't want you to solve

their problems, or to save them.

Just listen to them.

It seems easy.

But it isn't!

Listening isn't the same

as hearing what they say.

It's hearing and caring.

They have to feel you're interested.

If it seems you're listening

but you don't give a sh*t,

they'll realize

and then you're lost.

And then,

then they'll devour your soul.

- You're wise, Cristbal.

- I know.

But I don't see

the theme of this scene.

- The theme?

- Yes, scenes are about something.

- What's this one about?

- What do you think?

I don't know, I'm listening to you

like you were a girl.

- Do you care what I say?

- Do you think I care?

You'd better care.

I care.

Is this how you listen to her?

Yes.

Then don't worry,

she won't devour your soul.

And you might hook up,

or you might not.

That's the theme!

That we might or we mightn't?

Exactly!

- A hell of a theme!

- It's always been the theme.

The Great Theme.

F*** the catfish!

Write, dear colleague!

Let those fingers gallop free

over the keys.

We've found the Grail!

God, I love going fishing!

The next day...

I owed you this.

I was expecting

"loads of uncomfortable questions".

Later.

Guess who rang me

the day before yesterday.

I'll say someone at random.

Your ex.

His name is Jorge.

Are you back with him?

No!

Then I'll keep calling him

"Sack of sh*t".

F***ing Sicko and/or Sack of sh*t.

I gave it to him with both barrels.

Why the display of violence?

It just came out.

I couldn't have done it without you.

If you hadn't said all that,

I'd have sh*t myself

when I heard him.

So thank you

for being such a bastard.

Why did he call?

He felt guilty and wanted to hear

I was OK so he'd feel better.

How bad did you make him

think you were, from 0 to 10?

10,000.

Before I hung up

I told him I was with you.

I wanted to make him jealous.

- And did you?

- Yes.

After I hung up and cried for a bit,

we talked.

- You and him?

- You and me.

You did me a lot of good.

Do you often talk to yourself?

Manic Pixies do things like that.

What did we talk about?

I asked you

loads of uncomfortable questions.

- Such as?

- Are you married?

Very?

Quite.

To a woman?

I think so.

Is she

an intergalactic assassin too?

Almost.

She's a bank manager.

Sh*t.

And you love her?

A lot?

When you asked me all this,

were my answers the same?

No.

What did I say?

That you were single.

Just a minute.

Yes, Cristbal?

Go ahead.

Yes, yes, Cristbal, of course.

No, no, no, Cristbal,

of course not.

I'm buying time.

For what?

A good question.

Did you fake the call?

What? No.

Yes.

How did you know?

1 . Your phone didn't ring.

2. I'm brilliant.

Why did you do it?

Because I'm a control freak.

I wanted to prepare

what I'm going to say.

And have you?

- You didn't give me time.

- Too bad. No matter, tell me.

Tell me.

I've been married for five years.

Do I love my wife? Yes.

A lot? Yes.

Does she love me? Yes.

A lot? I don't know.

Or rather, she doesn't know.

And while she's deciding,

she asked me to move out for a while

so I'm living with a friend,

in Voltania, no less.

When was that?

A month ago.

- What happened?

- That's what I asked her.

And the answer was insane.

Nothing.

Don't you realize? In eight years,

nothing has happened to us.

That "Nothing"

is her way of summing up

5 years of marriage

and 3 of dating,

which was quite a shock,

because for me

they're full of marvelous moments,

one of which is Laura,

our lovely four year old daughter,

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