Nuts in May Page #5

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this morning.

I follow the Royal Canadian Air Force

system myself.

RAY:
Oh, yeah?

KEITH:
Do you have a system?

Well, I was just doing basic sort of

rugby circuit training, really.

-Yes, but is it a system?

-What do you mean, system?

Well, is it tabulated,

do you time yourself?

Well, you can do if you want to,

but I was just loosening up.

Oh, I see.

Have you seen my maximum-minimum

thermometer over there?

Oh, yeah.

One of my instruments

for logging the weather.

Another one over here.

This is a portable barometer,

bit like a travelling clock, really.

Bit silly in the middle of the night,

if you wake up

and want to know the time,

turn over, and all you'll find out

is whether it's fair or foul.

-Do you take sugar, Ray?

-Yeah, two, please.

It's only brown sugar.

Is that all right?

Sure. As long as it's sweet, you know.

We don't keep the killer whites

in our tent, do we, Candice Marie?

-No.

-White flour, white sugar.

Lot of people don't realise

the body doesn't need sugar

as most people know it,

breaks down carbohydrates

into polysaccharides,

which are natural sugars

more easily absorbed by the body.

We can get our sugar

from fruit and honey.

Glucose, sucrose and frucrose.

-Did you know that, Ray?

-Yeah.

Oh.

You, uh, eat meat, Ray?

Oh, yeah, I love meat, it's great.

Candice Marie and I don't take it,

do we?

No. Keith and I believe that

it's inhumane to kill animals for food.

Man is not a carnivore,

he's naturally a frugivore,

he eats fruit and nuts.

It's interesting to note, Ray,

that a carnivore's jaws

move up and down like this

but a plant-eating animal

and human being's jaws

also swing from side to side, like that.

Yes, and a carnivore

has a very short intestine

suitable for carrying the putrefying

meat through the system

whereas a human being

has a very long intestine

not suitable for that function at all.

No wonder so many people

have cancer of the bowel.

Well, I don't know, a lot of athletes

and sportsmen eat meat.

They seem to do all right by it.

Oh, yes,

but it's a well-known fact, Ray,

that a world champion marathon runner

was a vegetarian

and he reckoned that

it improved his running.

Yes, a lot of famous people in

history have been vegetarians,

Leonardo da Vinci, Malcolm Muggeridge.

''And God said, behold, I have given

unto thee every herb-bearing seed

''which is upon the face of the earth,

''and every tree, in which is

the fruit of every tree-yielding seed,

''to you it shall be for meat.''

Genesis Chapter 1 , Verse 29.

(CLEARS THROAT)

Do you mind if I smoke?

Well...

You do what you want to do, Ray.

It's just that Keith and I believe

that smoking damages your health.

Well, never mind.

You see, Ray, you can't see

the damage that it's doing,

but if I could take

one of your lungs now

and put it on the table in front of you

and cut it in half,

I think you'd be absolutely horrified.

You have to remember

that the air polluted by one person

has to be breathed by everybody else.

Pollution is one of the great disasters

of our age.

I see running a car

doesn't bother you much.

Oh, I only use it

for getting from A to B.

RAY:
Is that a banjo?

Yes, that's one of our interests.

I have a banjo

and Candice Marie has a guitar.

Would you like to show

your guitar to Ray, Candice Marie?

All right.

Yes, matter of fact,

we make up songs together.

We went on a trip up to London

one day last year

and made up a song

about going to the zoo.

-Would you like to hear it?

-Yeah, why not?

All right.

Do you have a girlfriend, Ray?

-Pardon?

-Do you have a girlfriend?

No.

Are you married?

I can't afford it.

Well, money isn't everything

when you're in love.

-Is it, Candice Marie?

-No, Keith.

Hmm.

Well, I usually take the time

from Candice Marie, anyway.

# I want to see... #

Candice Marie sings

the first and the third line

and then I come in with the second line

and we both sing the last line together.

This is Candice Marie's first line.

# I want to see the zoo, she said,

I want to see the zoo

My line.

# I want to take you there, he said,

I want to go with you

# I want to see the lions

The third line.

# And the tigers, too

KEITH:
Last line.

BOTH:
# I want to see the zoo, she said,

I want to see the zoo #

KEITH:
Do you sing, Ray?

Well, I chant a bit, you know.

What, madrigals?

-No.

-KEITH:
What sort of thing?

Well, I don't think it'd be quite

suitable here, you know.

Shall we sing the second verse,

Candice Marie? Yes.

Slightly different from the first.

-Keep your rhythm, Keith.

-Oh, sorry, yes.

# I want to see the zoo, she said,

I want to see the zoo

# I want to take you there, he said,

I want to go with you

-# I'd be afraid of the lions

-Different lines here, you see.

# And of the tigers, too

# I'd be afraid of everything

if I did not have you #

See, I got the lines wrong there.

They're slightly different

from the first.

-Now would you like to join in, Ray?

-Well, I don't think so...

Yes, come along. You can sing the second

and the fourth line with me, all right?

''I want to take you there, he said,

I want to go with you.''

And then the last line is

''I want to see the zoo, she said,

I want to see the zoo.''

I'll help you. All right, Candice Marie?

-# I want to see the zoo, she said

-Candice Marie's first line.

# I want to see the zoo

# I want to take you there, he said,

I want to go with you

-That's it. Here we are, Ray. Ready?

-# I want to see the lions

-# And the tigers, too

-Here we are.

ALL:
# I want to see the zoo, she said,

I want to see the zoo #

-Well done, Ray!

-Well done, Ray.

-That's lovely.

-You're good.

Would you like to try it on your own?

-No, I don't think so.

-KEITH:
Yes, do the last line, yes.

''I want to see the zoo, she said,

I want to see the zoo.''

All right? I'll help you.

# I want to see the zoo, she said,

I want to see the zoo

# I want to take you there, he said,

I want to go with you

-# I want to see the lions

-Here we are, Ray, coming up, ready?

-# And the tigers, too

-Here we are.

# I want to see the zoo, she said,

I want to see the zoo #

KEITH:
That's very good, Ray, very good.

CANDICE MARIE:
Nice voice, Ray.

-Do you want that photograph taken now?

-Oh, yes.

Oh, yes, Ray, yes.

Have you taken a photograph before?

Yeah.

Right, I'll just set the camera for you.

Now, you stand there, Candice Marie.

Further forward, further forward,

that's it, stand there. Stay there.

Now, the sun is over there...

Eleven feet should do it, right.

One, two, three, four, five,

six, seven, eight, nine,

1 0, 1 1 .

Come along, Ray, stand over here,

on the line, that's it.

Left foot forward more. Now, 1 1 feet.

There we are.

Now, look into the little black box.

Can you see Candice Marie?

-Yeah.

-Good.

Now, wait until I get over there

and when you can see us both

in the little black box,

press that button.

-Can you do that?

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