Nutty Professor II: The Klumps Page #3

Yeah.

Uh, Sherman, can I talk to you

in private for just a second?

Sherman, I got a call today...

...and, well, I've been offered a full

professorship at the University of Maine.

University of Maine? But,

Denise, that's in Maine. Yeah.

Oh.

Well, uh, that's a fine

department over there in Maine.

It is gonna be a...

...tremendous loss

to Wellman, though.

Well, I haven't decided to

leave just yet. You haven't?

Well, no, I mean-

There's something

very important to me here...

...and I'm not so sure

I can just leave it behind.

Well, Denise, you can finish the

research we started on your own.

Sherman, I'm not talking about research. Really?

Sherman,

you're very special to me.

Oh, well, uh,

I didn't...

...think you and I

would ever- Ever-

...because of-

How can I put it? Because I'm

- Big.

Yeah. I was gonna say fat,

but, yeah.

Big is better, yep.

Sherman, that doesn't matter to

me. What matters to me is that...

...you're kind and decent.

You are... The most brilliant man I've ever known.

Uh, speaking of which, I shouldn't

keep you from your research...

...so, um,

I'll talk to you later.

Okay, I'll see you soon.

My goodness.

Professor?

You okay?

Yeah. I just don't wanna

hurt her,Jason.

Then you won't.

Hey, you can control Buddy.

You know, it's funny how you get used

to certain things in life, you know?

You get used to being overweight. I know I did.

You even get used to people

making fun of you.

Somewhere along the line,

I got used to being alone.

And I just don't wanna

be alone anymore.

Denise! Denise!

Oh, Sherman,

the flowers are beautiful.

But what are you doing down

there? Please, come inside.

...just a minute. Let me do

something first. Come here, guys.

Denise,

I just wanna say that...

...working alongside you

this past year...

...getting to know you

and be close to you-

...it's been the most

wonderful time of my life.

How lovely.

I'd just like to say that-

...it doesn't matter if you wanna take

that other job or if you wanna stay here.

What matters to me most

is that you're happy.

Denise, I have something

that I wanna ask you.

Denise-

Denise Gaines-

Yes, Sherman?

Denise, will you-

Well, ask her!

Denise, will you

- Hey, Sherman. You hear me, Sherman?

Denise, will you-

will you...

...let me come up there

and put my beef in your taco?

Oh, no, no, no, no!

That's not what I meant to say,

Denise. That was a littlejoke.

A little joke. I wanted to see if you

wanted to go out and get Mexican food.

That's why I said that. Well,

I am kinda hungry, but I'm not-

Yeah, you are, huh? I bet you could

stand for a big ol' Whopper right now.

- You're sick!

- I got to tell you, I'm a Jumbo Jack man myself.

Yeah, and I'm loaded

with secret sauce.

And I'd like to come up there,

and take my crotch puppet...

...to the midnight show

at Fuzzy's if you let me.

Yeah! Come on! Oh, yeah!

Back that thing up! Yeah!

Come on! Come on!

Yeah!

Yeah!

Come on!

Make it funky!

You're gonna ruin my lawn,

you pervert!

Put on the good ass!

Sherman, I don't know what's gotten

into you, but I don't like it at all!

Hah, way to go, Sherman!

Oh, my goodness!

You haven't seen the last of me,

Sherman! Oh, my goodness, what'd I do?

Denise!

Denise!

I'm gonna pee on myself.

I'm gonna pee in your pants!

Okay, Buddy,

it's time for you to go.

That's sexy.

I thought it'd be soothing. It'd be soothing

if you turned that sh*t off so I can sleep.

Oh, Cletus,

you haven't even looked at me.

I know what you look like. We married for 44

years. I look at you every day, all day long.

- I know just what you look like.

- Cletus, please, look at me!

Damn.

Now here we go.

You got a show tonight?

What you got that on for?

Well, if you don't know after 44 years of

marriage, I don't know what to say to you.

You should say good night and take that damn

rag off that lamp before we burn something down.

Hell.

There!

What about Viagra?

Viagra don't work for me.

I've been taking 'em like M&M's.

Look, Cletus,

maybe it's psychosomatic.

I seen on Oprah once that this

happen to men after they get fired.

Um, I mean, retired. You know,

sometimes you lose your self-esteem.

Lose self-esteem?

I ain't lost no self-esteem.

You're always yapping about it.

You won't never let up! Forget it!

You're like a broken record. Every time I

turn around, "Cletus, how you feeling now?"

"You got the groove now?"

Every time I walk in the room...

I don't even wanna hear it. You shake

your ass, trying to get me stimulated.

Go to sleep, please. I don't want to hear it. Let it happen naturally

- Organically...

[Muttering[

Good- Good night.

I don't want no chemically erection!

That's what you want?

Never mind, Cletus!

Never mind!

I mean, I'm sorry to yell and scream,

but you got too much pressure on me!

You want tenderness?

Ease up on the pressure.

Too much pressure for me.

Slow it down, Isaac.

No, no, baby, I'm over here.

Now, there they go.

Now, you're fine now.

Isaac, you're a champion.

That's your ho-ass mother.

Hey! My mama is not no ho!

Gotta slow it down! I ain't taking

nobody to the emergency room tonight!

Somebody break their leg,

gonna stay broke this time.

Isaac! Bingo. Keno.

Professor? Professor?

Hey.

Professor?

Hey, Professor!

Wake up.

Oh. Oh,Jason.

My God, what happened?

Buddy.

I had to get rid of Buddy.

What?

He had to go.

You could've killed yourself.

I mean, who knows?

This could affect your coordination,

your neurological system.

It could even affect your intelligence.

We don't even know if this is gonna work.

Only one way to find out.

Okay, Sherman, what is this about? Denise.

I'm so glad you came.

You know, I almost didn't come.

Well, I'm awful glad

you did.

Listen to me, Denise.

Listen.

You know, fireflies, when

they're searching for a mate...

...the way they find one another

is they emit a pheromone...

...and I've synthesized it

into a spray form.

Wait a minute. You brought

me out here for an experiment?

Denise, wait, please! Just hear

me out! Please, don't leave.

Sherman, why did you act

that way the other night?

Well, Denise...

...when I found out that you might be leaving,

it just got me all messed up inside.

I said some things

I really didn't mean at all.

It was

- It was like there was another person inside me...

...who didn't appreciate how wonderful you

are to me and how special you are to me.

And-And- But that

side of me is gone now.

I got rid of that person forever.

You'll never see that ugly face again.

I just want you to know that for sure. That's

why I wanted you to come out here tonight.

...just-Just bear with me,

please.

Hope my little friends

might be able to...

...say it better than me.

Yes, Sherman Klump,

I will.

Will you really? Really? Really.

Yes. I will. I really will. You will?

Yeah!

Yeah!

Yeah, yeah, yeah!

Come on, Buster.

Time to go home.

That's right. That's right.

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