Nutty Professor II: The Klumps Page #5

Good. How about Wednesday,

7:
00? Perfect. Wednesday at 7:00.

- Bring the formula.

- Yes.

Excuse me. Where's your restroom?

Down the hall, to the left.

Thank you. You finished with this? OSure.

Whoo, whoo!

What the hell you looking at? Huh? Oh!

Good God! What "good God"? I went on the paper!

Genetic anomalies can occur...

...in any living organism

through- Through-

Come on now, people.

Spontaneous mutation.

Now what is it that our genetic

code can determine about us?

Miss Tate?

Uh, they can determine...

...whether you have blue eyes

or pouty lips or a cute butt.

Stuff like that.

Right, right, precisely.

Very good.

But what about random nucleotide

polymorphisms, Professor? Excellent question.

Random nucleotide

polymorphisms-

Random nucleotide

polymorphisms-

Random nucleotide-

I ain't got a clue.

Who knows? This could affect your

coordination, your neurological system.

- I mean, it could even affect your intelligence.

- What was I talking about?

- Genetic anomalies. - Yes,

genetic anomalies. As I was saying-

Think you're

pretty smart, huh, Molly?

Not gonna beat me again.

Oh.

That makes five times in a row now. Hey.

- Can I talk to you for a second?

- Jason, yes. Please, come in.

Look, I know you think you're feeling

fine, but I ran some more tests anyway.

- Really?

- Yeah. When you extracted Buddy...

...somehow it altered the gene that regulates

neurotransmitter activity to the cerebral cortex.

Uh,Jason, all these big words are really

perplexing to me. Can you talk in plain English?

You're losing

your intelligence, sir.

Yeah. Yeah, I know.

I know.

I can feel it.

I can't even beat Molly, and

she's the dumbest hamster we got.

...jason, my presentation's

in two days.

Now what am I gonna do?

Oh, my goodness.

Buddy.

Oh, thank God.

Hey, how's it going there, Sherman?

Yeah, Daddy, you startled me.

- What's that you got there, son?

- The youth juice.

Um, um, my formula. I was wondering if

I could keep it here for safekeeping.

Oh, yeah, leave it in the refrigerator.

Ain't nobody gonna bother it.

You all right? You look a

little strained. What's going on?

Well, Daddy, you know,

I kinda got a lot on my mind.

Really, I do. I guess I've been a little

worried about my presentation and all.

Worried about your presentation? You

ain't got nothing to be worried about.

We gonna be watching you on TV, supporting

you, and you should be proud. We proud.

I know I'm proud. I tell you that.

You ain't got nothing to worried-

You're gonna be doing just great. Ah!

I didn't hit you that hard. Don't act

like a little b*tch. By the way, Sherman...

...how many people can say

that they raised a genius?

I can.

Worried about his presentation?

That's a good one there.

- Ooh, is this supposed to be that hard?

- Yeah, let it set a while.

Don't worry if it burns a

little bit. That's natural.

All right, you the expert,

Chantal. Work your magic, girl...

'cause Denise's mother is coming

to this bachelorette party...

...and if she's as stunning as

Denise, I got to be sparkling.

Honey, you gonna blind

their asses.

When you walk in that door, they

gonna think you're Tyra Banks.

Oh, did I tell you the news?

Leon got

one of them penis pumps.

Penis pumps? What'd he do with it? Mm-hmm.

- Supposed to pump it up or something.

- Does it work?

...just on the tip. Now that thing

look like a portabello mushroom.

Isaac all natural.

Soon as I walk in the room,

ten-hut.

You know, I'm thinking about

having a little work done myself.

The other day,

I got out the shower...

...and I bent down

to reach for a towel...

...and I felt a sharp pain

in my chest.

Shot through my chest and up

around my back, down my spine.

I thought, "Oh, Lord. " I thought

I was dying. I bent over and looked...

...and I was standing

on my own titty.

You ain't have to get no breast

reduction. Just be more careful.

- Both feet too.

Both feet on it.

All right, what the hell you old

hens cackling about? You ready to go?

No, not quite.

I'll be ready in a minute.

She still got to set up a few more

minutes. Have some more wine, girl.

Ooh, girl, I don't know if I

should. I already had two glasses.

Oh, go on, live a little.

Make your hair look better.

- Have mercy.

- Yeah, just like I figured.

You sit up here all day, getting

sloshed and talking about us men.

- Cletus, have you ever heard the expression, "mercy hump"?

- Say what?

'Cause that's what you been

getting all these years- Mercy humps.

- Stop it.

- You out your goddamn mind. Let me tell you something.

He ain't got nothing

but a limp doodle.

Oops.

Sorry.

Gotta get ya.

Cletus!

Oh, look what you've done! Oh.

- Ah-

- F***in' crazy!

Oh, Cletus, Cletus, wait! Cletus!

Oh, Cletus! I don't believe it.

Cletus, I only told her 'cause she got

so much experience in sexual matters.

I ain't nothing but a big damn joke

to you, ain't I? Tell the whole world?

My husband ain't nothing

but a big worthless pile of sh*t!

Cletus!

Cletus!

Oh.

I'm just glad they're back in

town so you can finally meet them.

I'm extremely nervous because I

really want to make a good impression.

Sherman, there's no reason

for you to be nervous.

My parents are very down-to-earth

people, and they're gonna love you.

I guess it's not like they're rocket

scientists. Well, actually, they are.

Daddy!

Sweetheart!

Great to see you. You must be Sherman,

the genius who's marrying my daughter.

I guess that's me.

They think I'm old. They think I'm

worn-out, huh? I'm gonna show all of'em.

Screw the golden years.

And here's to youth!

That's some nasty mess.

I don't feel no-

Damn, that was

some nasty stuff!

Oh, I feel as strange as hell.

Oh! Hey, get your ass-

Who the hell are you?

Who you put-

It worked.

It worked!

Oh, what a beautiful bird.

Oh, Crackers has been in our

family more than 50 years.

Hmm? Fifty years.

He's older than I am.

- Sherman, your fly. Your fly.

- Yeah, he can fly all over.

No, no, no, zip your pants.

Oh, my goodness. Excuse me. I felt

- I felt a little breeze.

So, uh, genomic extractions.

Fascinating.

But the whole concept of removing faulty

genes must have you in an ethical quandary.

E- Excuse me. Ethical?

Oh, yes, I don't know much about

"Ethicals", to be perfectly honest with you...

...but the "Quandary"

- I don't like the Japanese cars. I don't like to mess with "Quandary. "

I'm a Volvo man myself.

Well, yeah.

Oh!

Sherman is known as the leading

expert in genomic extractions.

Give us a little preview of the speech

you're going to make at the press conference.

- Say what now?

- I know we would never be able to keep up...

...but is there some way that you

could explain it in layman terms?

Oh, you'd like me

to explain to you?

Yes. Well, I would love to. I would be honored.

It's really quite simple.

This corn, for instance-

This piece of corn here

can represent a strand of DNA.

And these little-

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