Nutty Professor II: The Klumps Page #6

...the individual-

the bumpy things that go-

The Green Giant calls them

"niblets. " Uh, niblets.

For instance, Mrs. Gaines, let's say if a

person was to have big titties, like you.

Sherman!

- I'm sorry. Big titties.

No, breasts. Scratch it.

Get off you. On me.

- Now, I have a big ass.

Never mind that.

What we're attempting to do here is

to extract the, uh, the bad, bad genes.

Extract that titty out.

And ass comes out.

And just leave

the good genes...

...which is very simple

if you think about it.

...just ignore that.

Please ignore those.

Those are the bad genes.

What I'm really trying to do is go

deep, deep down into the gene structure...

...which oftentimes

is much more difficult.

Crackers!

Oh, goodness!

I'm- I'm so-

so sorry about that.

My pants got caught in the thing

and they pulled it on out.

His wings is twitching a

little bit, so he's all right.

Buddy Love.

Mr. Love. Leanne Guilford.

Yes, Miss Guilford. How are you?

You forgotten we have an appointment

right now? I had a hard time getting a cab.

- I'm on my way.

- I'll wait for a few more minutes and then I'm leaving.

Very good. I'll see you soon. All right.

Yes!

Whoo!

This is great!

Sir, uh, please don't do

that. It's kind of dangerous.

You work her! Work her!

Dynamite!

Yeah! Whoo!

Hey, let me have a seven and seven. Coming up.

You about the finest-looking

thing I seen in a long time.

Well, thank you very much. You

pretty damn foxy yourself, baby.

A lot of young men are

intimidated by an older woman.

Is that right? Well, let me tell you something.

You look pretty damn young to me. In

fact, let me tell you something, baby.

You just about the-

You-

Yeah, you look good. Pretty

fine. Foxy fine and young.

Excuse me one second.

Yes, yes, yes.

- Get away from my woman.

- Mind your own business, Willie.

- What?

- It's over between us. He just won't accept it.

Willie, she said it's over between y'all.

Besides, you getting the wrong idea.

Outside. Outside. I'm tired of this

sh*t. Say what? Who you pushing?

Not again, Willie.

Willie, what's wrong with you?

All right, enough is enough!

This is going too damn far!

You gonna make me have to put my foot in

your ass. I'm gonna tell you straight up.

I don't wanna have to hurt you,

Pops! Pops? I'll "pop" your ass.

Would you please put

your clothes back on?

You'll hurt yourself.

You look like a roast chicken.

That was a lucky shot.

- Okay, that's it.

- Come on, fool. Get your ass up. Come on.

You're crazy.

What the hell is this? Am I supposed

to believe that you know "bujitsu"?

Sayonara, sucker.

All right.

Meter reads 3.90. Here's

4.00. Keep the dime. Jerk.

Ah, the lovely Miss Guilford.

Where you on your way to?

Home. Home? What do you

mean? We got business to talk.

All you seem to be is talk. I'm starting

to think you don't even have a formula.

Oh

- We're gonna stick with Klump.

Stick with Klump? I just got off the phone

with my research people in Langley, Virginia.

They're working out all the minor kinks.

We gonna have a formula any moment now.

Hey! Klump's formula sucks!

All right, little man.

I've been

real patient.

I told you I'd mess you up.

Oh, you scared now, huh? Bring

your little butt back here.

I'm tired of your-

Damn.

He done loosen

my tooth too.

So that's where

Sherman's been hiding it.

Klumpville.

Chunkytown.

Big-ass City.

Cletus. Cletus. Lord have mercy.

What have you been all evening?

I've been so worried. Wait.

Don't turn on the light.

- Leave the light out.

- Oh, Cletus, I'm so sorry about what happened tonight.

Yeah, well- Anna...

...you remember

when we first met?

Of course I remember.

Back at the state fair. Why?

Yeah, the state fair. You

was working the cotton candy.

Standing looking like an angel. Had

that pink sugar swirling all around you.

I turned to my brother,

and I said three words...

"Might-y fine. "

You must've ate 16 cotton

candies that night, Cletus.

Yeah, well,

I was interested.

I was interested.

I was damn interested.

Close your eyes, Anna. I got

a little surprise for you.

Oh, Cletus.

Oh!

Here I am. I'm ready,

and I'm waiting.

- Oh, that some nasty stuff.

- Okay, what you got for me?

It wouldn't be

a surprise if I told you.

Oh, you always been

such a sexy devil.

Oh, Cletus,

I'm on fire.

Oh, Cletus!

Hurry, Cletus.

Hurry, Cletus!

Hurry, Cletus.

Hurry. Hurry, Cletus.

Yeah, yeah. I've been waiting so long.

Cletus, I'm on fire. I know

you've been waiting, baby.

- Oh, Cletus, this is so romantic.

- Yeah, Cletus here now.

I'm on fire. Anna Pearl, Anna Pearl.

Yeah,

I'm gonna put your fire out.

- It's okay, baby.

It's okay.

Anna, it's me. It's me. It's

Cletus. I'm just young again.

Oh, Lord, Cletus, what have you done to yourself?

I took some of Sherman's youth

juice, and it's incredible.

I got enough

for both of us too.

Damn. Don't worry about it. I got some more

in the garage. I'm not taking that mess.

I don't want

no magic formula.

- What's wrong with you, woman? Don't you wanna be young?

- No, I don't wanna be young.

Cletus, we're supposed to be who we

are, and I'm just fine with who I am.

But, obviously, what you're trying

to say is that you're just tired...

...of the fat, old woman that you

got married to. Oh, no, Anna.

That's not what I'm saying. That

ain't what I'm saying at all.

Downstairs. I think you better sleep

downstairs. Anna, please, no, baby.

- But I was just... Downstairs,

Cletus. I don't wanna hear it.

Oh, Cletus, I'm so

disappointed in you.

I just feel so god-awful terrible

about what happened to Crackers.

Imagine what your parents

must think about me.

Sherman, you were acting

really strange tonight.

Yeah, I know, 'cause,

um, I drank that wine...

...and I had cold medicine

early on.

And mixing cold medicine

and wine- That don't mix.

Well, cold medicine

or not...

I'm really worried

about you.

And I really think you

should get a checkup.

All right. I will.

Yeah, I will.

Okay. Go home and get some rest...

...and first thing in the morning, I'll

make an appointment to get a checkup.

Good. See you tomorrow. See you tomorrow.

- Sorry about Crackers. I'm sorry. Okay?

- Okay. Okay.

Mm.

Pervert.

"Beef in your taco. "

- I'm a pony! I'm a pony!

- Mommy, I'm scared.

Now back

to the midnight movie.

A huge asteroid, approximately

1,000 square miles in size...

...is still on

a collision course with Earth.

Wellman College Professor

Sherman Klump...

...is attempting to plant a nuclear explosive

device deep within the asteroid core...

...which, if effective,

will destroy it.

Houston, come in. This is Professor

Klump on the asteroid's surface.

We read you, Professor.

What's your status?

We've done dug the hole

and planted the nukes.

Good. Then get back in your shuttle

and get the hell out of there...

...so you can blow

that rock to bits.

Sherman, you've got 30 seconds before

that asteroid hits. Better hurry.

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