Nutty Professor II: The Klumps Page #7

The world's counting on it.

Fifteen seconds. Sherman, start

the detonation sequence now.

Hello, Houston.

We got a big-ass problem.

Sherman, you've got to blow up

the asteroid. Press that button!

I... Can't... Reach it.

Sherman.

Sherman, I am your father.

Search your feelings, Sherman.

There's a force deep down inside

you. Use it. Use your force, Sherman.

Of course.

Ah, yes. The force is strong with you, my son.

Goddamn.

- What the hell was that noise?

Whew! I think something crawled

up your force and died, Sherman.

Ten seconds to impact.

My God!

He didn't plant those charges on the

asteroid. Then where did he plant them?

Okay.

Good-bye, Mr. Asteroid.

This is gonna be good. Yeah.

Wait a minute. Did I land on the wrong

- Oh, sh*t.

Oh, no. I done blowed up

the wrong one.

Good-bye, Sherman.

Denise, please don't- It

was an accident. Denise-

I'm sure it'll just make a little

splash in the ocean. That's all.

See, just a little, tiny-

Oh, that ain't tiny

at all, is it?

I am an idiot.

Oh, thank you, Granny, so much. You are too sweet.

Yeah, that's a little special

present for your wedding night.

Oh, fabulous.

Romantic and fabulous.

Oh, Mama!

Ooh!

Thank you, Granny. Maybe something I

wouldn't have chosen for myself. Thank you.

Well, I didn't choose it for

you, baby. I got it for Sherman.

He's gonna be the one that's gonna

appreciate the hell out of it, trust me.

Girls, I gotta go check on the rest of

my surprise. Y'all excuse me for a moment.

Girls, I saw the most fabulous game the

other day. It's called Bachelorette Bingo.

Let's play.

Oh, this is so fabulous!

This is Miss Ida Mae Jensen. I'm calling

to confirm a male stripper fantasy...

...the Muy Caliente

Vida Loca special.

Goddamn.

Yeah, that's right. Well, where

they at? We all ready here. Now-

Oh, never mind.

I see him

over here now. Okay.

Yes, we will enjoy.

Thank you.

Now, that's what I call

the Muy Caliente...

El Negro special.

Mmm-mmm!

Hey.

Well, hello there,

stripper man.

Now, you know, I ordered the special, and

you supposed to be dressed as a fireman.

Stripper man? Oh, stripper

- Oh, yes, stripper man.

Well, I, um

- I decided not to do my fireman dance tonight...

...because last time I did it, things got

so heated up, kind of scorched my suit.

So I decided to do my cat burglar dance.

And I slip through the back door...

...and I'm kind of poking around,

'cause I'm a method stripper...

...and I want to get the right frame of mind

so I can give y'all some good stripping.

- You know, work it for you.

- You know, you look just like Ken Norton in Mandingo.

Oh, really? Oh, Ken Norton

- Oh, Mandingo. Ken Norton. Really?

I guess this is the closest I'm

gonna ever get to Ken Norton.

Well, thank you so much.

Thank you. Thank you.

I wonder if you could give

me a little private dance.

Oh, okay. You want a private

- You wanna slow down?

Stop, stop, stop! I'm gonna need some space here.

You want a private dance.

Okay, I can do that.

But first, um, I'm so thirsty. I got a craving for some

- For some red fruit punch.

Red fruit punch? I ain't

seen none in the house, boy.

But today I seen some out in the

Frigidaire, out in the garage.

Oh, there may be some in the garage?

Well, after I quench my thirst...

I'm gonna come give you a dance. Ow!

I'll be moving like this. You like that,

don't you? Yeah, that's like Soul Train.

That's la vida loca. Make this

face here like I'm tearing it up.

Oh, good Lord. Oh, my

precious Lord. You like that?

Don't move now. I ain't going nowhere.

I'll be right here for the Soul Train.

- I'll be right back.

- For the Soul Train!

I'll be right back.

Oh, my goodness,

is there a fire?

Yes, ma'am, I'm afraid there

is. I don't smell no smoke.

...and it's getting

muy caliente!

Oh, Lord, have mercy!

A strip- Oh, my!

My mother must've

arranged this.

Where are you? Oop-

Oh, bingo! Bingo.

Chunky Butt, thank you so

much for making this easy.

I thought this was

gonna be difficult.

Chunky Butt made this

a nice, easy task for me.

Yes, yes, yes.

Perfect. Now I gotta find

something to cut this with.

Maybe a little

fertilizer or something.

Oh, this is gonna

be perfect, Chunky Butt.

I think this will help spruce

up your presentation quite a bit.

Oh, Lord!

I didn't know there was

gonna be a stripper.

I didn't know there was

gonna be a stripper.

Mama! Mama!

Oh, we gonna have the whole

room smelling like ass.

Shake it, shake. And it's like I was never here.

Oh! Oh!

Hey! You scared me just now.

I thought you was a monster.

Mmm-mmm!

What are you-

- Hey, what-

- Stripper man, stripper man.

- You're not supposed to be out here.

- This must be your lucky night.

- You're supposed to be in the house.

- I'm fittin' to teach you...

...every trick I know.

- I seen the way you was ogling me inside.

- No, no, no, no.

I'm ogling you too.

- Oh!

- Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh, stripper man.

Oh, I feel so vulnerable.

Oh! You got me wetter

than a Slip-N-Slide.

Come on.

Let's get it on, right now.

Right here, right now.

Wait, wait-

Oh, stripper. Wait. Just calm

- Relax a second.

Now, listen. We gonna get it on. But not out here.

You don't wanna get it on out here,

do you, in this nasty, stink garage?

Let's go in the house in a warm

bed where I can give you the shimmy.

I'll meet you in your room. I

ain't falling for that trick.

I'm gonna get that knot

out your back.

You gonna have to give me a little

sugar right now, or I'll scream.

No, no, don't scream.

Don't scream.

No, no, no. Shh, shh. Wait, wait,

wait. I'll give you a little kiss.

A little peck on the cheek. Meet you

up in the room. Ain't gonna hurt nobody.

You're so cute. Come here. I want a little sugar.

Oh, God!

Oh, Ken Norton!

Folks, we want to get everybody

into the presentation...

...so please have

your press credentials ready.

Well, if it isn't ol' Chunky Butt.

Buddy, what are you doing here?

I just came down for your big

presentation. You're not nervous, are you?

No, I ain't nervous. "No,

I ain't. " "No, I ain't. "

That's interesting. Starting

to sound kind of ignorant.

But don't worry. If this

professor thing don't work out...

...there's always room for another

brother down at the car wash.

You can work in the drying section. They

could put a big beach towel on your ass...

...and you can stand in the

doorway as the cars come out...

...and dry 'em

a side at a time.

That's your future. Buddy,

I notice since the split-up...

...that, uh, I ain't really

- I haven't really felt like myself.

I was wondering if you've been

experiencing any changes.

Not at all. I feel great.

Never felt better in my life.

Business is really starting

to look up for me, Sherm.

Hey, you better run!

Come here!

Come here, p*ssy! You're a

p*ssy! That's what you are.

I'll kill you! I'll kill

you! Come here, you p*ssy!

Sherman coming on

in a minute.

Well, what channel's Sherman

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