Nutty Professor II: The Klumps Page #8

gonna come on? Anybody know?

Have some of these brownies. They're

still warm. Don't drop 'em on my floor now.

All right, everybody. Sherman getting ready

to come on TV now. Everybody gather around.

You know,

fame is gonna pass.

And the only thing

that's permanent is family.

Ain't that right, Daddy? Oh,

sh*t! Get your ass out that chair!

How many times I gotta tell you

to stay out my damn chair? Aw, man.

You work on them cars all day gonna put the

grease all in my chair, smear the grease there.

Gotta sit on this grease. My gray pants

still got grease all over 'em 'cause of you.

You happy? You got your chair.

Enjoy. Stay out my damn chair.

Ernest, will you please tell your

father to be quiet? Sherman's coming on.

What channel Sherman come on?

- Tell me what she just said...

- I'll come over there

and whup your ass.

That's the channel.

Watch the damn TV.

Thank you, ladies and gentlemen for coming

out. My name is Professor Sherman Klump.

I'm a professor here

at Wellman College.

- Ooh!

- Look at him.

- Joe College.

- Look how dashing he look. He look just like Billy Dee.

- Boy look handsome.

- Billy Dee! Billy Dee! Billy Dee! Billy Dee!

- Billy Dee Klump.

- As you all know...

Ponce de Leon searched his entire

life for the Fountain of Youth.

And today we will

complete his journey.

So, uh, ladies and gentlemen,

I'd like to present to you all...

...uh, the Wellman College

youth formula.

- Maybe I need to take some of that.

- It don't cure ugly.

- Does Cletus

know I'm strapped?

- Well, come on. Shoot. Come on. Shoot.

- I'm strapped, n*gger.

- Tell him. I'm strapped.

- And if you miss, I'm gonna finish you off.

If you don't have anything nice

to say, don't say nothing at all.

- Well, she messin' with me.

- Stop the violence. Stop the violence.

In fact, don't say nothing.

I'm trying to watch Sherman.

Okay, cool, cool.

Boy, would I like to throw

some hot grease on you.

This is Molly. Molly is a

one-year-old, and Petey is four.

Petey is our candidate for

genetic "transmografication. "

Petey here

- Petey is our candidate for genetic "transmofilectesy. "

Genetic "transgromanation. "

The "youthification-"

That ain't a word.

How come Uncle Sherman's

talking funny?

- He's starting to sound like you, Dad.

- He don't sound right, do he?

What do you mean, "sound like me"? What's

that? Sherman up in a ivory tower...

...just 'cause

he went to college.

I could've gone to college

if I took that damn...

...elastic "appitude" test.

Hey, shut up. What the hell's wrong with Sherman?

You be breaking me down in

front of my seed on the regular.

The reason we, uh- He-

We gonna make him young.

So I say, um,

let's get it on!

I'm gonna just give

a drop of this to Petey.

We watch and see

what happens.

- Isaac, you watching that?

- Hey, that ain't right.

- Hamsters will be hamsters, huh?

- Oh!

- What in blazes...

Oh! - Look at that!

- That's cool. That's real cool.

- Look at that!

Petey!

Down, boy!

- Petey!

- Shoot him! Shoot him!

No, no. No. Please,

I'm not that kind of-

Oh, my God. I have to turn the channel.

I don't want my baby seeing that.

- That's sodomy. That's pure sodomy.

- Cover the baby's eyes.

That's what that is, all right. He

don't need to know what it is, Momma.

- That man ain't never gonna be right again.

- Oh!

- Something like that will ruin a man.

- What's wrong with this?

Isaac don't look right. That's

too much excitement for my baby.

- Turn the channel.

- You got to change these batteries.

What am I, the janitor in this motherfuckin'

- You all better get off my case.

Now, was that

supposed to happen?

It's the lovely Miss Guilford.

Mr. Love.

What a wonderful day

we're having, huh?

Why am I not surprised

to see you here?

Well, I figured since it turns out that

Professor Klump ain't your man after all...

...you might wanna talk

a deal.

All right. Have your formula

ready for presentation on Friday.

Friday it is.

See you Friday. Lovely dress. Mm-hmm.

I'll wear

something sharp.

Oh, Dean. I'm just trying to

figure out what went wrong here.

I just don't understand. It must've been

some sort of contaminant or something.

The deal with Phleer is off.

I just spoke to Leanne Guilford.

But that

doesn't bother me.

After all,

what's $ 150 million?

Oh! Dean Richmond, I am so sorry.

I'm really trying to get to the bottom of

this, because this was not supposed to happen.

No, that's not

what bothers me.

Deals will come

and deals will go.

Wellman...

will always be Wellman.

But I'll tell you

what does bother me.

On the way over here, a cute

little boy pointed at me and said...

"Oh, look, Mommy, there

goes the hamster's b*tch!"

Uh-

Dean, whatever it's worth...

Petey is back to normal and

feeling just fine. Oh, yeah?

Do you think he'll call?

Dean, I just want to tell you, I'm

- I'm sorry. Stop... Speaking!

I just want to go

on record as saying that-

Shh, shh, shh.

Shh, shh, shh.

I've been looking forward to saying

something to you for 12 years.

And here it is.

You're fat!

And dumb.

And fired.

Sherman.

It's not your fault.

I ain't never-

I'm never gonna be

the same again, am I?

I'm afraid not.

I know.

I'll be a total idiot.

Don't you think it's

time you told Denise?

Oh, no,Jason.

I can't do that.

How can I tell her

I'm losing the very thing...

...that made her fall in love

with me in the first place?

Mm-mmm.

Hi. Sherman, what are you doing here?

How you doing? Your mama told me

I might be able to find you here.

I've been looking all over the place for

you. I've been leaving messages everywhere.

I went by your place. Yeah,

well, I had a lot on my mind.

You know, I walk around, going

around, getting time to think.

I wonder if I can talk

to you about something.

Look, I know you're upset

about what happened.

But we can get right back

to work with the youth formula...

...and I think the problem

- No, not science.

Denise, I'm not

- This isn't about science. We can start completely over.

We can find another university.

After the wedding, we can even-

That's what I'm talking

about- The wedding.

Denise, I don't think

there's going to be a wedding.

Well, not-

not right away anyway.

I mean, my head's just kind

of messed up right now...

...and I don't think

it'd be fair to you.

What?

I made a mistake.

And I have to work that mistake

out. I have to live with that.

Me, not you. See, you're so

pretty, and you're so smart.

You just got your whole life ahead of you.

I just don't want to mess things up for you. I'm-

I'm sorry, Denise.

I think

I'd better get going.

You all right?

Oh, I just don't

understand, Cletus.

And he won't tell me why.

Anna, listen. Sometimes a man

do some crazy things, you know?

Oh!

Not that he's trying to hurt nobody. He's

not trying to tell you he don't love you.

It's just-

Sometimes you get kind of confused, you know?

You hear

what I'm saying?

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