Nutty Professor II: The Klumps Page #9

Yes, Cletus,

I hear what you're saying.

I'll talk to the boy.

Everything

was so fabulous.

You cut out that crying now. It's all right.

Stop all that crying.

Go clean your nose up.

Go wash your hands. Snot all over

the place looking nasty as hell.

What's this on me? Goddamn, look what you

put on me, Anna. What's this on me for?

Yeah, you know

something, Sherman?

The very first building I ever

worked on was on this site right here.

Yep. Isn't that something? It was a bakery.

Yeah. Tore it down two years ago.

Thirty-five years later, I

wind up working on the thing...

...building it up all over

again; ain't that something?

I expected the building

I worked on was permanent.

But I was wrong,

'cause it ain't.

That's not permanent. You

know what's permanent, Sherman?

You know what's permanent? I'm gonna tell you.

What me and your mama got. That's permanent.

That ain't going no place. You know what I mean?

If you get you a woman that

really, really loves you...

...you've got to hold on

to that, Sherman.

Yeah, that's true, Daddy. Yeah,

I knows I sure do love Denise.

Well, then y'all gotta

get back together then.

Get back together? Daddy, that's it. Yeah.

Get back together. If we get back

together, that'll make everything okay.

Dynamite. Go call the girl.

Say what? Not Denise. Buddy.

Me and Buddy get back together, that'll

make everything fine between me and Denise.

Hey, you just took

the wrong off-ramp.

I can use the youth formula. I'll feed

it to Buddy. It'll make him so young.

I'll turn him back into Goop. And I ingest

- I eat it! I eat it! Huh?

That's it.

Daddy, that'll work.

I wouldn't have even

thought about that.

This is fantastic!

What are you gonna eat?

Sherman! Damn!

Hello, Sherman.

I heard you were here.

Give me a minute, Dean, and I'll

be on my way. Trespass all you like.

- It goes so well in court with grand theft.

- I beg your pardon.

You're trying to sell the youth

formula under a different identity.

Who do you think you are? Dean,

you just don't understand, really.

That's always possible. Then help

me out if you don't mind. Explain it.

Why is Buddy Love

meeting with Phleer?

Oh, my goodness. I gotta

hurry up. Not so fast, pal.

I'm not letting you out of my sight

until both our names are on that contract.

I'm going to be stuck on you

like a giant hamster on my a-

Where you go, I go. I have no time

to stand here and argue with you.

If you wanna come along, I'll

explain it to you on the way.

Ladies and gentlemen and

distinguished guests, it is show time.

Now I'd like to present

to you exhibit "A."

His name is Zeke,

and it is very clear...

...that Zeke has been getting his ass whipped

by Father Time for many, many years.

Oh, my God, Sherman.

Sherman! Sherman!

Sherman!

- Hey, hey, hey, Denise.

- Thank God.

What the hell's going on? Papa

Klump, have you seen Sherman?

He's in trouble.

Oh, tell me about it.

First the boy acting crazy and called off the

wedding. Then he talking about eating some guy.

I don't know if it's something

I need to talk to the boy about.

Wait. Eating somebody? Yeah,

he said he's gonna eat some man.

Of course. Buddy.

Yeah, that's the guy. What's going

on between the three of y'all?

- What's this, a kind of menage a trois?

- I know where Sherman is.

Ladies and gentlemen, if Zeke dropped

dead right now, who would care?

- I would.

- My point exactly.

Exactly. That no person,

no matter who they are...

...no matter how hopelessly

disgusting their case may be...

...should be left

without a second chance.

And that is why I would like

to introduce... New You...

...a fully copyrighted product

being offered to you...

...by the good people

of Love Enterprises.

Now, if you'd be so kind, Zeke,

would you drink this up, please?

It's kind of like Mogen David, but fruitier.

Wait! I'm sorry to interrupt,

ladies and gentlemen!

But I cannot go on living unless I

have this man inside me right now.

- Steady, sailor.

- What the hell is going on here?

Well, if it isn't Professor Sherman Klump,

the inventor of Jumbo the Horny Hamster.

- Please!

- Buddy, I am sick and I am tired...

...of your s-h-

"I. "

Thank you. T-E.

My shite? Oh, really? Well, what

you gonna do about it, Shamu?

- Tell you what I'm gonna do.

- I don't have no time to play no games with your ass.

- You got time to play a little catch, don't you?

- Oh, you bastard.

Buddy.

Aw!

Buddy, Buddy. Buddy.

Get it, Buddy. Buddy!

Na, na, na, na.

Hey, Buddy. Fetch.

Aach!

What the hell is that?

Who's dumb now?

Oh, Sherman. Oh, you sneaky son of a b*tch.

Oh, Sherman!

Oh, no!

Oh, sh*t! Uh- Ah- Ah-

Everybody calm down.

This is a part of the demonstration. Just calm

- Relax.

Everything's under control.

What the hell are you looking at?

This is an impressive package for

a toddler. All right, Mr. Toddler.

Nothing to see here, folks. This

mutant is about to dissolve into liquid...

...and then the fat man is going

to suck him through a straw.

Sorry, Buddy.

I just want my life back.

You don't owe him any explan

- What? Come here.

Oh, you rotten

son of a- Oh!

- I'm hit! I'm hit!

- Forget it, fat ass.

I ain't going back inside of you. Mmm. Got milk?

Thank you, baby.

He's getting away.

Dean, I want that formula. Bring me the

man who made it. I'm ready to make a deal.

Hmm? Right.

I'm naked! I'm naked! I'm

naked! I'm naked! I'm naked!

- There he is.

- What the hell is happening?

What the hell was that? Buddy.

All right, that's it. Slow

the car down! Slow down!

We can't help Sherman

wrapped around no light pole.

We've got to get to him. He and

Buddy have to be combined immediately.

Where's the little snot now?

- What the hell are you looking at?

- Come on.

What? What?

Don't feel right. Starting

to feel a little light-headed.

If you quit now, you're gonna be

empty-headed. Come on, Klump. Let's get him.

Get ahold of this, chubby.

Whoo!

You got a big ass!

- What?

- Follow that ass.

Aw, hell.

Now, what's all of this?

- Move out the way, damn it!

- Wait a minute. I think I see him.

Goddamn.

Oh, no. Don't even think

about it. Don't you do it.

Oh, you're doing it.

- Ow!

- Stop!

All right, tubby.

Let's see how long

you last without me.

What? What?

That's it?

He's gone?

Ah, I-I- Da-da-

Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba.

Oh, that's marvelous.

The deal is dead,

you know that.

I've been calling you a moron

for years. Now you finally-

I'll just

get a cab.

- Ohhh, Sherman!

- I raised a genius.

- No one is perfect. - I want

to be perfect for her. - Perfect?

- About time you told Denise? - I

checked the file. - There's no future.

You will never learn to control him till

you accept the fact he is a part of you.

Sherman.

You okay?

IGone

- He's all gone. Buddy? He evaporated?

Gone. And me no smart.

Never. No more.

Sherman, that's okay. I mean,

we'll figure something out.

There has to be something

that we can do.

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