Office Space Page #4

PETER:

I was asking what you were doing for lunch. Would you like to have

lunch with me?

JOANNA:

Oh, are you serious? Yeah, I don't , I don't think I'm supposed to do

that.

PETER:

Oh. I'll tell you what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna go next door and get a

table and if you'd like to join me, no big deal. All right? And if not,

that's cool too. Ok?

He starts to walk away.

JOANNA:

Uh, when you say "next door", do you mean Chili's or Flingers?

PETER:

Flingers.

JOANNA:

Ok.

[Scene Initech. Bob Slydell and Bob Porter are interviewing Tom.]

BOB SLYDELL:

So what you do is you take the specifications from the customers and

you bring them down to the software engineers?

TOM:

That, that's right.

BOB PORTER:

Well, then I gotta ask, then why can't the customers just take the

specifications directly to the software people, huh?

TOM:

Well, uh, uh, uh, because, uh, engineers are not good at dealing with

customers.

BOB SLYDELL:

You physically take the specs from the customer?

TOM:

Well, no, my, my secretary does that, or, or the fax.

BOB SLYDELL:

Ah.

BOB PORTER:

Then you must physically bring them to the software people.

TOM:

Well...no. Yeah, I mean, sometimes.

BOB SLYDELL:

Well, what would you say… you do here?

TOM:

Well, look, I already told you. I deal with the goddamn customers so

the engineers don't have to!! I have people skills!! I am good at

dealing with people!!! Can't you understand that?!? WHAT THE HELL IS

WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!!!!!!!

CUT TO THE CUBICLES. TOM EXITS THE INTERVIEW ROOM AND MICHAEL ENTERS.

Cut to inside.

BOB SLYDELL:

Let's see. You're Michael...Bolton?

He nods.

BOB PORTER:

Is that your real name?

MICHAEL:

Yeah.

BOB PORTER:

Are you in any relation to the pop singer?

MICHAEL:

It's just a coincidence.

BOB SLYDELL:

LAUGHS) TO BE HONEST WITH YOU, I LOVE HIS MUSIC. I DO . I AM A MICHAEL

BOLTON FAN. FOR MY MONEY, I DON'T THINK IT GETS ANY BETTER THAN WHEN HE

SINGS WHEN A MAN LOVES A WOMAN.

BOB PORTER:

I mean you must really love his music.

MICHAEL:

Yeah. Yeah…he, he, he's pretty, he's pretty good, I guess.

BOB SLYDELL:

You're GOD DAMN right he is.

They laugh.

BOB PORTER:

So tell me. What's your favorite song of his?

MICHAEL:

Hmm. I, I, I don't know. I mean, I guess, I sorta like 'em all.

The Bobs laugh.

BOB SLYDELL:

HA HA! I feel the exact same way, but it must be hard for you, I mean,

having the same name as him. I celebrate the guy's entire catalogue.

But anyway, let's get down to business, Michael!

MICHAEL:

You, you know, you can just call me Mike.

They stare at him.

[Scene Flingers. Peter is saving a table and Joanna enters.]

JOANNA:

Hi.

PETER:

Hey.

JOANNA:

I wonder if they will let me wear this in here.

PETER:

I think it would be ok. Would you like to sit down?

He motions to a chair.

JOANNA:

Ok. (does so) Wow. This place is really nice.

PETER:

Yeah, is it?

JOANNA:

Oh my God, compared to Chotchkie's. I like the uniforms better anyways.

PETER:

I like yours.

JOANNA:

Nah. (makes a face

Peter looks at the buttons' wearing on his suspender. One says We're

not in Kansas anymore. The one underneath says POOF.

PETER:

"We're not in Kansas anymore."

JOANNA:

Yeah. Really. (laughs

PETER:

It's on your - (points

JOANNA:

Oh! That's, uh, that's uh, my pieces of flair.

PETER:

What are pieces of flair?

JOANNA:

That's where you know, suspenders and buttons and all sorts of stuff.

We're, uh, we're actually required to wear fifteen pieces of flair.

quite stupid actually.

PETER:

Do you get to pick them out yourself?

JOANNA:

Yeah. Yeah. Although I didn't actually choose these. I, uh, I just

grabbed fifteen buttons and, uh, I don't even know what they say!

Y'know, I don't really care. I don't really like talking about my

flair.

PETER:

Ok.

JOANNA:

So, where do you work, uh, Peter?

PETER:

Initech.

JOANNA:

And, uh, what do you do there, Peter?

PETER:

I sit in a cubicle and I update bank software for the 2000 switch.

JOANNA:

NODS) WHAT'S THAT?

PETER:

You see, they wrote all this bank software and to save space, they put

98 instead of 1998. So I go through these thousands of lines of code

and uh, it doesn't really matter. I, uh, I don't like my job. I don't

think I'm gonna go anymore.

JOANNA:

You're just not gonna go?

PETER:

Yeah.

JOANNA:

Won't you get fired?

PETER:

I don't know. But I really don't like it so I'm not gonna go.

JOANNA:

LAUGHS) SO YOU'RE GONNA QUIT?

PETER:

No, no, not really. I'm just gonna stop going.

JOANNA:

When did you decide all that?

PETER:

About a week ago.

JOANNA:

Really?

PETER:

Oh, yeah.

JOANNA:

Ok. So, so you're gonna get another job?

PETER:

I don't think I 'd like another job.

JOANNA:

LAUGHS) SO WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT MONEY AND BILLS?

PETER:

Y'know, I never really liked paying bill? I don't think I'll do that

either.

JOANNA:

LAUGHS) SO WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?

PETER:

I want to take you out for dinner and then I wanna go to my apartment

and watch Kung Fu. Did you ever watch Kung Fu?

Joanna gets a weird look on her face.

JOANNA:

I love Kung Fu...

PETER:

Channel 39.

JOANNA:

Totally...

PETER:

You should come over and watch Kung Fu tonight.

JOANNA:

Ok...

PETER:

Great.

JOANNA:

Ok. Can we order lunch first?

PETER:

Yeah.

JOANNA:

Ok.

[Scene Milton's cubicle. He hears bill talking and eavesdrops.]

BILL:

...stapler off my desk...

Milton puts his Swingline stapler somewhere else. The guys laugh.

BILL:

...anyway, sounds great, Bob. I'll see you in a few. (they walk off)

Hey, Milton, what's happening?

MILTON:

Uh...sir...

BILL:

Uh, I'm going to have to ask you to move your desk. Now, if you could

get it to go as far back against that wall as possible, that would be

great.

MILTON:

No, no, because I was, I was -

BILL:

That way, we'll have some room for more boxes and things we need to put

in here.

MILTON:

No...sir...

BILL:

Uh (sees the Swingline) Oh there it is.

MILTON:

No. No.

BILL:

Let me just get that from ya. (picks it up) Great. So if you could get

to that as soon as possible, that would be terrific. Have a nice lunch,

Milton. Bye.

He walks off.

MILTON:

Ok. I'll set the building on fire.

[Scene Hallway at Initech. Peter enters in casual clothes. Milton walks

up to him.]

MICHAEL:

Peter!

PETER:

Michael!

MICHAEL:

What the hell's going on, man? I thought you were going to come in here

and start shooting.

PETER:

I just came to get my address book. I'm not gonna stay. I've got a

number I don't wanna lose.

MICHAEL:

What?! Peter, you're in deep sh*t! You were supposed to come in on

Saturday. What were you doing?

PETER:

Michael, I did nothing. I did absolutely nothing and it was everything

that I thought it could be.

MICHAEL:

Well, I hope you have a better story than that for Lumbergh. You know,

you're supposed to be having your interview right now with the

consultants.

PETER:

Who?

He writes down Joanna's number.

MICHAEL:

What has gotten into you?

PETER:

Oh yeah. Right.

MICHAEL:

Peter, Peter you, gotta postpone it man. Tell them you were sick. Make

something up.

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