Oh! What A Lovely War Page #2

and that normal relations

will shortly be resumed.

Mum, a band! A band!

Come on! Come on!

Come on! Come on!

Coming.

Grandpa, look! It's a band!

Mummy! Mummy! Mummy!

By the centre, quick march!

Ha'penny won'th of chips, please.

Oh, I do like to live beside the seaside

I do like to be beside the sea

- Good morning, Sir Douglas.

- Good morning, Miss Bates.

Oh, I do like to see a lot of soldiers

Oh, soldiers are what I like to see

And if they've got a sword and horse

Then I like them more, of course

Because I just love the cavalry

Oh, I do like to live beside the seaside

I do like to be beside the sea

Oh I do like to stroll

along the prom prom prom

Where the brass bands play

tiddley-om-pom-pom

Right. Come along, then.

First man, please.

Brownley, Cecil. One, please.

Thank you very much.

- Lang, Mary.

- Thank you.

Take her, love.

Smith, Florence Victoria.

Smith, Jack Henry.

Smith, Mary Emma. Thank you.

Smith, Harry Arnold.

Smith, Elizabeth May.

Smith, George Patrick Michael.

Wilson, Rose.

Smith, Frederick Percy.

Smith, Dickie.

I beg your pardon, sir. Richard.

Ex-Colour Sergeant Smith,

King's Own Yorkshire Light Infantry.

- Splendid.

- One, please. Dalby, Gwen.

Thank you.

Smith, Bertram Biddle.

Come on.

Come down off of there.

- Jack, here.

- Hello.

Come on.

Don't be daft, we're on holiday.

Harry.

Hot potatoes!

Hot potatoes!

Here, Freddie.

Potatoes!

George!

No.

George.

Grandpa, look, there's a soldier.

Mesdames et messieurs,

presenting for your

greatest entertainment,

the most fantastic spectacle

of the world today,

the arme franaise in all its glory!

Its banners, its uniforms will pass now

before your very eyes. Rideau!

- Bonjour, soldier.

- Bonjour, mon colonel.

- It's a good day for the chase.

- We await your orders.

A battle won is a battle in which

one will not confess oneself beaten.

A silly German sausage dreamt

Napoleon he'd be

Then he went and broke his promise

It was made in Germany

He shook hands with Britannia

and eternal peace he swore

Naughty boy, he talked of peace

while he prepared for war

His warships sailed upon the sea

they looked a pretty sight

But when they heard the bulldog bark

they disappeared from sight

The Kaiser said, 'Be careful

if by Jellicoe they're seen

'Then every man-of-war I've got

'Will be a submarine'

Belgium put the kibosh on the Kaiser

Europe took the stick

and made him sore

On his throne it hurts to sit

And when John Bull starts to hit

He will never sit upon it anymore

He'll have to go to school again

and learn his geography

He quite forgot Britannia

and the hands across the sea

Australia and Canada

the Russian and the Jap

And England looked so small

he couldn't see her on the map

For Belgium put the kibosh

on the Kaiser

Europe took the stick

and made him sore

We shall shout with victory's joy

Hold your hand out, naughty boy

You must never play

at soldiers anymore

He'll never sit upon it anymore

Belgium put the kibosh on the Kaiser

Europe took a stick and made him sore

On his throne it hurts to sit

And when John Bull starts to hit

He will never sit upon it anymore

On his throne it hurts to sit

And when John Bull starts to hit

He will never sit upon it

He will never sit upon it

He will never sit upon it...

Paper! Paper!

Brussels falls!

Brussels falls!

- Paper! Paper!

- Here, boy!

Paper! Read all about it! Brussels falls!

'The battlefield is unbelievable.

'Heaps of corpses lying everywhere,

rifles in hand.

'Thousands of dead in row after row.

'Night has fallen,

and the rain has started.

'Shells are bursting and screaming.

'Artillery fire is the worst.

'We are all utterly exhausted.

'I lie at night

listening to the wounded groaning.

'The cannonading goes on and on.

'Whenever it stops,

we hear the wounded crying out

'from all over the woods.

'Two or three men go mad every night.

'I feel a great pity

'for many of the civilian population

who have lost everything.

'But they hate us.

One of them fired at us.

'He was immediately taken out...

'Taken out and shot.

'Yesterday, we were ordered to attack

the enemy flank

'in a forest of beeches,

'but the enemy gunner saw us first

and opened fire.

'The casualties on both sides

were truly terrible.'

Are we downearted?

No!

So let your voices ring

and all together sing

Are we downearted?

No!

Not while Britannia rules the waves

Not likely

While we have Jack upon the sea

And Tommy on the land we needrt fret

It's a long, long way to Tipperary

But we're not downearted yet

Are we downearted?

No!

So let your voices ring

and all together sing

Are we downearted?

No!

Not while Britannia rules the waves

Not likely

While we have Jack upon the sea

And Tommy on the land we needrt fret

It's a long, long way to Tipperary

But we're not downearted

yet

We watched you playing cricket

and every kind of game

At football, golf and polo

you men have made your name

But now your country calls you

to play your part in war

And no matter what befalls you

We shall love you all the more

So come and join the forces

as your fathers did before

Oh, we don't want to lose you

But we think you ought to go

For your king and your country

Both need you so

We shall want you and miss you

But with all our might and main

We shall cheer you, thank you, kiss you

When you come back again

Oh, we don't want to lose you

But we think you ought to go

For your king and your country

Both need you so

We shall want you and miss you

But with all our might and main

We shall cheer you, thank you, kiss you

When you come back again

The Army and the Navy need attention

The outlook isn't healthy, you'll admit

But I have a perfect dream

of a new recruiting scheme

Which I think is absolutely it

If only other girls would do as I do

I believe that we could manage it alone

For I turn all suitors from me

But the sailor and the Tommy

I've an army and a navy of my own

On Sunday I walk out with a soldier

Monday I'm taken by a tar

Tuesday I'm out with a baby Boy Scout

On Wednesday a hussar

On Thursday I gang oot wi' a Scottie

On Friday the Captain of the crew

But on Saturday, I'm willing

if you'll only take the shilling

To make a man of any one of you

I teach the tenderfoot

to face the powder

That gives an added lustre to my skin

And I show the raw recruit

how to give a chaste salute

So when I'm presenting arms

he's falling in

It makes you almost proud

to be a woman

When you make a strapping

soldier of a kid

And he says you put me through it

And I didn't want to do it

but you went and made me love you

So I did

On Sunday I walk out with a bosun

On Monday a rifleman in green

On Tuesday I choose a sub in the blues

On Wednesday a marine

On Thursday a terrier from Tooting

On Friday a midshipman or two

But on Saturday I'm willing

If you'll only take the shilling

To make a man of any one of you

Come on, lads! We need a million!

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