Old Fashioned Page #7

I'm not sure if I should

be with anybody at all.

Why didn't you come after me?

I did.

I ran into Trish.

She told me you

hooked up with some guy.

Who?

I don't know his name.

I never even asked.

What'd you do?

Ouch.

Amber...

You know, I came here.

I came here ready

to forgive you,

no matter what.

I mean, that's what

I'm supposed to do, right?

Isn't that the whole idea?

Isn't that the good news?

You make it sound so easy.

You make it sound impossible.

If I had betrayed

everything I said I believe...

God forbid you made a mistake!

You fell.

You got it wrong.

What do you think I did?

You tell me.

Nothing.

Nothing happened

with that guy, Clay.

We went back to his hotel room,

and he opened the door,

and I just stood there

staring at my feet.

I couldn't.

Something was different.

"Behold, all things

have become new."

All right, all right.

Welcome back, kiddies.

Live in the flesh, here I am,

the Zen master of what you want,

when you want it.

Now, where was I?

Oh, that's right.

The rest of my crazy hot

chickapoo at the wedding story

from time recently served

in flyover country.

Yes, sir.

I did my duty.

But as I was saying earlier,

it wasn't meant to be.

She never even

uttered a single word.

Just turned a complete 180,

walked out of my life forever.

Nothing but a tease.

And I thought we had

something special.

So what else could I do?

After facing such rejection,

I did the only thing

any respectable man could do.

I went down to the hotel bar

to try to redeem myself,

find some lonely, insecure,

last-call-for-alcohol mama

to help me tend to my wounds,

help me forget my recent

and catastrophic loss.

But instead, I found nothing.

She found me.

Do you want the details?

Yeah, you do.

Do you want me to

play Show and Tell

and share my goodies

with the rest of the class?

Is that what you want?

Is it? Is it?

She believed in me.

In you?

If you don't chase

after that girl,

you're nowhere near the person

we thought you were.

Exactly.

I'm damaged goods.

She's better off.

I mean, I don't even deserve...

My Lord, if you were

any more self-absorbed,

you would be a dot.

So you agree?

I should be alone.

Mm-hmm, probably.

Oh, I'd like to wring your neck.

Look at you,

the high and mighty.

You expect the whole world

to stand up

and do the wave for you,

give you a trophy

for being good,

and if they don't?

So help me, if you lock yourself

away for another 9 years,

you think that'll make you holy?

I wish I...

I, I, I, I, I.

Stop twisting it.

Wake up.

Get over yourself,

you and your pain.

Stop using the grace of God

as a brick wall.

Do you get this upset

over children starving?

Over anyone else's suffering?

I admire you so much.

In all my years,

I've never known anyone

work as hard at being good.

Define "good."

There is no goodness

without mercy.

There is no virtue

without forgiveness.

And I'm not talking

about Amber forgiving you,

or you forgiving Amber.

None of this

is about any of that.

The way you carry ancient,

crusty, useless guilt

like a trained pet poodle

you want to show off,

like an excuse.

Let it go.

What are you waiting for?

How long?

You are loved.

You are so loved.

Oh, my child, you are.

Listen to me, Clay.

Enough!

We never arrive fully

this side of heaven.

You could remain hidden in that

house of yours for 100 years,

never see another face.

What a shame that would be!

Well, you would miss sharing it

with a whole bunch

of other confused nitwits,

some of whom inexplicably

care about you a great deal.

Playtime is over.

Be a man.

This is the day

the Lord has made.

"As the morning sun longs

to break free of the horizon,

"I long for you.

"I really mean it, baby!

Clay Walsh."

You are so cheesy.

Come on!

Your chariot awaits.

One second.

Courtesy of one

Mr. Clay Walsh.

Thank you.

You look so beautiful.

Have fun.

Oh! Take your shoes off.

Hey there, pretty girl.

Hey there, stress boy.

I love you.

Say it again.

I love you.

The baby food aisle?

A little on the nose?

Very romantic.

I love you too.

Te amo.

Yes!

You're supposed to...

Yes!

It won't be easy.

Yes.

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