Old School Page #3

and teach a blow job class.

- It was incredible.

- A class?

And he's really good,

so we had to book him way in advance.

Why should I go to a class?

Bernard should be the one going to class.

I swear, the man is orally challenged.

- Wait a second, is that guy...

- [Frank whooping]

Oh, my God.

That's disgusting!

Why am I looking at that?

Why are you slowing down?

Just drive. Go.

[horns honking]

Frank?

No way.

Frank!

Hey, honey.

What the hell are you doing?

We're streaking. We're going up

through the quad to the gymnasium.

Who's streaking?

There's more coming.

Frank, get in the car.

- Everybody's doing it.

- Now!

Okay.

Whoa! Scooch over.

Hey, ladies.

Hey, Frank.

Looks like it's a little cold out there, huh?

[girls giggling]

Please, guys.

Honey, do you think KFC is still open?

[girls laughing]

[lawn mower]

[alarm buzzes]

Oh, sh*t.

Good morning.

Now, that was a party.

Since when are you so shy?

No, I'm not.

I just...

Did I snore last night?

Sometimes I snore when I'm drunk.

I don't remember.

I don't think so.

Listen, about last night.

I just got out of a very serious

and traumatic relationship.

I'm kind of in a weird place right now.

What?

Relax, Rich, it's not a big deal.

Mitch, with an "M."

Right. Look.

Whatever. We were just having a little fun.

You have nothing to worry about.

No.

Yeah, you're right.

I'm okay with it.

It's casual. I was just...

I got to go to class, so...

So, how do we do this? Shall l...

You want to leave me your number?

You don't even have to worry about it.

See you around.

Bye.

I love you.

At Speaker City, we're slashing prices

on everything from DVD players

to camcorders,

and everything in between.

Our courteous staff will educate you

on a wide selection of state-of-the-art

home theater equipment and accessories.

Show us a competitor's price.

We'll beat it.

If we can't beat it, I'll give you

the keys to the store. Literally.

Figuratively, I mean.

The only thing that sounds better

than our speakers are our prices!

Hi, silly kid.

What do you think? Honestly.

Shoot me straight.

Really good.

- You look great.

- Really?

God, I went a little bit...

Got crazy last night.

Yeah, I still haven't heard from Frank.

I'm a little worried.

Hello?

[cans clink]

Come on in. Jesus!

Is this one of your guys here?

- About three fire hazards over here.

- What are you doing, man?

Cheese, is that you?

Hello, Mitch, Bernard.

I see you guys haven't changed much.

Who is this?

Remember Cheese,

Rodney's kid brother?

Actually, my name isn't Cheese anymore.

It's Gordon Pritchard.

Oh, yeah!

Cheese!

Didn't we lock you in a dumpster one time?

I got out.

Cool, man.

I'm glad you did.

- You had a good time last night?

- Yeah.

There might be some whippits

lying around if you want them.

- No, thanks. I'm working.

- Working what?

Campus patrol?

- Try again.

- You a Jehovah's Witness?

- [Beanie and Gordon laugh]

- I'm the dean.

Dean Pritchard. Yeah.

And as of this morning,

this house has been rezoned.

It is now exclusively

for campus use only.

What are you talking about?

You can't just do that. I've already paid

the first and last month's rent!

Take a look at that.

You have a week to vacate the premises,

and I thank you for your cooperation.

Great.

- Can I ask you a question?

- Absolutely not.

It's been good seeing you guys.

It looks like you're doing great.

Frank, this is a safe place.

It's a place where we can feel free

sharing our feelings.

Think of my office as a nest

in a tree of trust and understanding.

We can say anything here.

Anything?

It's okay, honey.

That's why we came.

Well, I guess l...

Deep down I'm feeling a little confused.

I mean, suddenly you get married

and you're supposed

to be this entirely different guy.

I don't feel different.

Take yesterday, for example.

We were out at the Olive Garden

for dinner, which was lovely.

And...

I happened to look over during the meal

and see a waitress taking an order,

and I found myself wondering

what color her underpants might be.

Her panties.

Odds are they're probably

basic white, cotton underpants.

But I started thinking,

"Well, maybe they're silk panties."

"Maybe it's a thong."

"Maybe it's something really cool

that I don't even know about."

You know? And I started feeling...

What?

I thought we were in the trust tree,

in the nest. Are we not?

- We are. It's okay.

- Okay?

It's okay. Please continue.

I don't know

where I was going with that.

I guess what I'm trying to say

is that now that I'm married,

I'm definitely feeling

a little freaked out about the fact

that I'm gonna have sex

with only one person

for the rest of my life.

Walsh tells me

your San Diego trip was a blast!

Yeah.

How was Hooters?

I actually didn't go to Hooters.

Yeah, right.

Skittles?

No, thanks.

Listen. I got a call from Manetti.

He tells me that your Sunshine Square

proposal is totally f***ed.

What's wrong with it?

Well, for one thing, it violates

the zoning restrictions set forth

in the National Historical

Preservation Act of 1 966.

Most notably, clause four.

Shall I continue?

- Actually, I'm familiar with that item...

- Honey.

- Hi, Dad, am I interrupting?

- No, come in.

I don't think you've met my daughter.

Darcie, this is Mitch Martin.

Nice to meet you, Mitch.

Hi. Nice to meet you.

- How was the slumber party?

- Great. You know,

movies and popcorn.

She's an angel.

It makes me sound an old man, but I can't

believe how fast she's growing up.

- Dad, stop.

- I'm sorry honey, but it's true.

To think that in just seven months

you'll be graduating from high school!

[coughs violently]

You okay?

I thought you said high school.

Yeah.

Shocking, isn't it?

Yes, it is.

Give me a break.

Hey, Mitch.

Hey, man. Did you have a good day?

Not too bad.

What's going on?

I thought maybe I could crash here

tonight, if that's all right.

Marissa is going through

some personal stuff.

Personal stuff like you running through

the neighborhood drunk and naked?

That and some other stuff.

No problem.

Make yourself at home.

Thanks.

Gentlemen, we're discussing

a brand-new way to look at a fraternity.

Gentlemen, we're discussing

a brand-new way to look at a fraternity.

In other words, forget all the normal rules

that apply to both college and society,

because this is a very big idea,

my friends.

We are talking about a non-exclusive,

egalitarian brotherhood

where community status

and more importantly, age,

have no bearing whatsoever.

Yeah? From the guy who probably

won't get in.

- I go to school here.

- Okay.

I was curious, what association

will you have with the actual university?

- Who are these people?

- I don't know.

Legally speaking,

there will be a loose affiliation,

but we will give nothing back

to the academic community.

As well as provide no public service

of any kind. This much I promise.

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