On the Avenue Page #2

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- I'm going to stop your show.

- Please be quiet. The audience will hear you.

I will not! If you don't take that

sketch off, I'll yell my head off.

- Quiet!

- Don't you dare tell me to be quiet!

- Out in the alley, Joe.

- Will you? Agh! Put me down!

Put me down! I'll have you all

arrested for this, you beasts!

Let me in! Let me in! Let me in!

If I ever see that gal again,

show me the nearest exit.

- She had a nerve slapping your face.

- She let me have it.

I don't like the idea

of any woman hitting you.

Except me.

Excuse me.

Get down! Get down, I tell you! Get down!

Go on out of here.

Get down! Down!

Get down! Down, I tell you! Get down!

All right! Down! Down!

- Morning, Father.

- Good morning, Miss Caraway.

I love to see you

having a good romp with the dogs.

How often must I ask you

to get rid of those elephants?

- How's your indigestion?

- All right.

Well, here's something in Winchell's column

that ought to cheer you up.

"Mimi Caraway was so burned up

over Blake's burlesque of horror

on her father and Frederick Sims,

the publicity-loving explorer,

that she rushed backstage last night

and slapped his face. "

"The sketch, which is very funny,

is the hit of the show,

and if the Caraways aren't laughing,

everyone else in town is. "

There you are. All New

York is laughing at us.

Yes. And 13 of my friends called me up

this morning, so I'd be sure not to miss it.

You're a lawyer. Do something.

Well, are we going to sue the theatre?

- I don't believe we have...

- We're going to sue.

- We're going to sue everybody.

- Mr Sims.

Good morning. Good morning, everyone.

And how is everyone this morning?

- If you're going to be cheerful, I can't bear it.

- The whole town is laughing at us.

- I've thought over that trifling little affair.

- Trifling little affair?

- I've decided to rise above it.

- You're going to rise above it?

A man of my reputation should not

be disturbed by such nonsense.

- Is the polar bear disturbed by the house fly?

- We can't all be polar bears.

That's what I want to talk to you about.

Mrs Peters.

Ta-da!

What in heaven's name are you doing

in that fantastic costume?

- I've gone Russian.

- You've gone crazy.

A while ago you made a spectacle of yourself

with jujitsu and tap dancing, now it's Russian.

I have to keep myself occupied. Some women

get married again. Others get rheumatism.

I'm studying Russian ballet. Keeps my mind

off my relatives. Not you, Mimi.

- Oh, thank you, Aunt Fritz.

- Well, I got your SOS.

What are you having hysterics about now?

- Have you seen this?

- Oh, is that all?

All? Do you realise

that our family honour has been outraged?

Family honour? Popcorn and peanuts.

Your grandfather was a horse thief.

Oh, Dad, that's where

I get my love of horses.

Well, my dear sister,

if you are not concerned about this, I am.

People in the public eye

must expect to be caricatured.

That is the price of fame.

I want you to bring a suit against that show.

I've thought the matter over. I can find

no ground on which to base a suit.

Oh, ridiculous. Why, that fellow in the

sketch had a chinpiece exactly like mine.

Take the case of Finnegan

versus Society Scandals maga...

I don't want to hear

about Finnegans or magazines!

Father, Father, your nerves.

The trouble with you

is you don't get enough exercise.

How can I cope with this situation with

you leaping around like a blasted gazelle?

If you had a sense of humour,

you'd laugh at that sketch and forget it.

Now, what was that fourth position? Oh, yes.

Well, I refuse to laugh at it

and I refuse to forget it. I'm going to sue!

- My dear Commodore, you...

- I'm not your dear commodore!

- I'm not anybody's dear commodore!

- Commodore, this has just arrived.

Ohh!

Isn't she a little daisy?

Oh, I can just see you

sitting in your bathtub

sailing that pretty little boat

in a rough sea of soap suds.

This is a model of the Cup Defender,

with which I expect to race against England.

It looks like you might

win the race with that boat.

Are you still here? I thought I told you

to sue that theatre. Well, do it!

You have no grounds for a suit.

I've been trying to convince you of that.

I'm going to bring suit

if it's the last thing I ever do.

- Now, you go and tell 'em I'm bringing suit.

- All right.

Mr Trivet.

Mr Trivet, are you sure

we don't stand a chance suing them?

If we take this to court, the newspapers

will make a farce of the whole thing.

If your father calms down,

tell him I suggest he forget the matter.

- He called me a poor sport.

- Who called you that?

Gary Blake.

A poor sport, am I?

I'll show him.

# Some fellows see the girl

that they love in a dream

# Some fellows see their love

in a rippling stream

# I saw the girl that I can't forget

# On the cover of a police gazette

# If I could find her

# Life would be peaches and cream

# Oh, my search will never cease

# For the girl on the police gazette

# For the pretty young brunette

# On the pink police gazette

# And above my mantelpiece

# There's a page of the police gazette

# With the pretty young brunette

# On the pink police gazette

- # I love to stop

- # La, la, la, la

- # At my favourite barber shop

- # La, la, la, I a

# Just to take another look at

# The girl that I haven't met yet

# And my longing will increase

# For the girl on the police gazette

# For the pretty young brunette

# Young brunette

# On the pink police gazette

# La, la, la, la

# Where's that pretty young brunette

# On the pink police gazette?

# And above the mantelpiece

there's a page of the police gazette

# Where's that pretty young brunette

# On the pink police gazette?

- # I love to stop

- # He likes to stop, likes to stop

- # At my favourite barber shop

- # Barber shop, barber shop

# Just to take another look at

# The girl that I haven't met yet

# There's that pretty young brunette

# On the pink police gazette

# And above my mantelpiece there's

a page of the police gazette

# With a pretty young brunette

# On the pink police gazette

Gosh, you're beautiful.

Oh, it's so sweet of you to say that.

Could I have a picture of you?

- Why, surely.

- Thanks.

Thanks.

Gee! You ain't got one in tights, have you?

# And my longing will increase

# For the girl on the police gazette

# For the pretty young brunette

# On the pink police gazette

- There's a note from a lady, Mr Blake.

- More fan mail.

Hey, listen to this.

"Dear Mr Blake, when you called me

a poor sport, I was too angry to argue,

but now I've had a chance to cool off and

I'd like to prove to you that you are wrong. "

"How about supper tonight?"

Signed Mimi Caraway. What do you think?

- She wants something.

- I'll tell you something.

Whether they got a million dollars or work

in a store, that dame is after publicity.

Oh, I don't think so.

She probably wants to say she's sorry.

But the lady is still waiting,

wanting an answer, Mr Blake.

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