On the Avenue Page #3

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- The lady wants an answer?

- Yeah, she's here.

- Now, what will we tell the lady?

- She's got a big car.

Tell the lady "Why not?"

Why not how, Mr Blake?

Tell the lady "Why not?"

Why not? Why not.

You're letting yourself in for another slap.

Don't worry. This time I'll duck. I hope.

- Hey, there.

- Oh, hello, Mona.

Say, you're kind of gotten up.

Well, I just got a little date for supper.

Oh.

Well, I was kind of hoping we'd go to Tony's

and have spaghetti together.

But white tie, top hat - kind of looks

like you've changed your appetite.

Now, look, you know how I feel about

society. I can take it or leave it.

Well, good night.

Don't forget to use the right fork.

Right, and I won't shake hands

with the head waiter.

See you tomorrow.

- Good night, Frank.

- Good night, Gary.

- Whose car is that?

- Mimi.

Mimi Caraway's car.

Looks like Gary's stepping out

in society tonight.

About last night. I'm sorry.

- Forget it. About that sketch in our show...

- Forget it.

All right.

Shall we forget everything

and make a fresh start?

- As if we'd never met before.

- A couple of strangers alone in the big city.

You don't know me and I don't know you.

- We've never even heard of each other.

- Exactly.

- I think we make a very handsome couple.

- I was just thinking that myself.

- I'm sorry.

- Hello, Mimi.

- Hello.

- Mimi, dear, how are you?

- When did you get back?

- About a week ago.

I called you up three times last week.

Oh, I want you to meet Mr...

- By the way, what is your name?

- Hasenpfeffer.

Oh, yes. Hasenpfeffer.

Mr Hasenpfeffer, Mr and Mrs Warren.

- How do you do?

- Awfully happy to know you.

- Thank you.

- I beg your pardon.

- Well, Gary. How have you been?

- Hello, Jack.

- Fine. Mary, how are you?

- Fine.

- May I present Miss... What is your name?

- Hasenpfeffer.

- Miss Hasenpfeffer, Mr and Mrs Jackson.

- How do you do?

She is of the old, old, old Hasenpfeffers.

- Oh, of Philadelphia?

- And Boston.

- Well, we'll see you later for a cup of tea?

- All right, Gary. Goodbye.

Let's go bowling.

Don't go away, folks.

- This the place?

- This is the joint. All right, Binns, open up.

Presto.

Careful.

- Wait for us, Binns.

- Very good, sir.

Smells good in here.

Nice and cosy, huh? Let's sit here, shall we?

What are you gonna have?

We got hamburgers, ham and eggs,

bacon and eggs, lamb chops, fried potatoes.

For pie, we got apple, peach,

apricot, coconut, custard,

lemon meringue and punk.

Say what?

We got apple, peach, lemon...

How's about some soup, kids?

- What kind of soup have you got?

- Vegetable, creamed tomatoes,

asparagus, split pea and oxtail.

- We'll take coffee.

- And doughnuts.

Coffee and 'nuts coming up.

Hey, buddy, throw us

the salt and pepper, will ya?

Sure.

Thanks.

Hey, mister, pitch us the ketchup, will ya?

Coming up.

Thanks.

Hey, toots.

Hey, toots, throw us the sugar, will ya?

Coming up.

Thanks.

Two doughnuts, two coffees. Anything else?

- A spoon.

- Catch.

Catch.

- Well, here's how.

- Here's how.

- I wonder what the holes are for?

- Ventilation.

Oh, the flies in here are terrible.

Pick out the ones you don't like, toots,

and I'll kill 'em for ya.

Thanks, buddy.

- Hey, toots, throw us the sugar, will ya?

- Sure.

- Thanks.

- Think nothing of it.

- Hey, captain, how much?

- Two coffees, four doughnuts, 30 cents.

Here's one we didn't use.

- No bites?

- And no bruises.

- All right, 25 cents.

- How much is that in francs?

- Francs don't work here no more.

- How much in roubles?

- Roubles? That's Russian!

- Russian!

The Winter Palace, the Tsar,

the snow, the sleigh bells, the wolves.

- Oh, it takes me back to Moscow.

- Mishka, take me to Moscow with you.

Before you go, I want 25 cents.

You got a one-track mind. Give him 25 cents.

All right, all right.

There you are. 25 cents.

I shot my last ten bucks at the shooting

gallery. You'll have to lend me some.

Help yourself.

Oh, we've only got 13 cents between us.

I don't know from nothing. I want 25 cents.

Now, look. You can trust me.

Haven't I an honest face?

I can't buy more doughnuts with your face.

I want 25 cents.

- Maybe we'll tell him who we are.

- I'm Gary Blake.

That's not my fault.

That's how famous you are.

I'll tell him who I am. Mimi Caraway.

That's fine. I'm Joe Papaloupas. So what?

- How do you do?

- Hello.

- Gary, I want you to meet Mr Pap...

- Papaloupas.

- How do you do, Mr Papaloupas?

- Hello. What is this? I gotta make more pies.

- What kind of pies?

- Apple, peach, coconut, custard...

- Let's go. This is where we came in.

- You don't go till I get 25 cents!

- He wants 25 cents.

- I want 25 cents.

Listen, Mr Papaloupas...

Or may I call you Joe?

You can call me anything for 25 cents.

- I've got a proposition to make.

- I got pies to make.

We owe you 25 cents, we haven't got 25 cents.

My hat's worth 25 dollars.

I'll give it to you.

I don't want any hats! I got a hat! Look!

Oh, but not like this one. Look.

- Try it on. Look.

- I don't like it!

I don't want to look. I don't want to look.

I...

It's not bad. How does she look in the back?

- Beautiful. Mrs Papaloupas would love it.

- You think so?

All right, it's a deal.

I hope I don't got stuck.

- Goodbye, Mr Papaloupas.

- Bye, and remember me to Mrs Papaloupas.

- And the little Papaloupases.

- Hope they like the hat. Goodbye.

Pretty snappy guy, me.

- Look, a radio in here. Imagine that.

- Turn it on.

Ah, that's nice, huh?

- This old boy really has an eye for business.

- He certainly has.

- Having fun?

- I was just thinking how nice it's been.

Four hours of being Miss Hasenpfeffer

and Mr Hasenpfeffer.

- No one reminding you how rich you are.

- Nobody reminding...

Now, now, now. Let's not fight.

- Hey, Binns, where are we?

- Still in Central Park, sir.

You can stay in the cab

and listen to the music, sir.

Or you can go over to that second bench

on the left, sir. It's very popular.

They say there's a good view

of the moon from there, sir.

- Thanks for the tip, Binns.

- All right.

Miss Hasenpfeffer, I

believe this is my dance.

Quite right, sir.

Well, here's the bench and there's the moon,

so this must be the place.

Even if it isn't,

it's nice being here with you alone.

Oh, Mr Hasenpfeffer,

you're not getting romantic, are you?

Why not?

# I love you, which is easy to see

# But I have to keep guessing

how you feel about me

# You listen to the words that I speak

# But I feel that you listen

# With your tongue in your cheek

# You're laughing at me

# I can't be sentimental

for you're laughing at me

# I know

# I want to be romantic

# But I haven't a chance

# You've got a sense of humour

# And humour is death to romance

# You're laughing at me

# Why do you think it's funny

# When I say that I love you so?

# You've got me worried and I'm all at sea

# For while I'm crying for you

# You're laughing at me

# I can't be sentimental

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