On the Avenue Page #4

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for you're laughing at me

# I know

# I want to be romantic

# But I haven't a chance

# You've got a sense of humour

# And humour is death to romance

# You're laughing at me

# Why do you think it's funny

# When I say that I love you so?

# You've got me worried and I'm all at sea

# For while I'm crying for you

# You're laughing at me

Come in.

Good morning, sir. We are home, I believe.

Thank you.

- What is this? The Grand Central Station?

- This is where I live.

Thank you for a delightful evening. You

and your horse have been swell company.

Thank you very, very much, sir.

- What's the bad news?

- Well, now, let me see, sir.

Two and two is four.

- Four and four is...

- Eight.

Thank you, sir. Oh, I'll

leave it to you, sir.

- He's leaving it to you.

- He is. I know.

- Look, it's my turn now.

- No, no, no. It's still on me.

- Here you are, Binns. That's the best I can do.

- I couldn't take your overcoat.

- Oh, no, no. Keep it, keep it.

- Thank you, sir, very much.

- And here's a little tip for you.

- Thank you very, very much.

- Good morning, Binns.

- Good morning, sir.

- Must you go in?

- My dear, it's morning.

Do you realise we've been out all night?

At the North Pole,

the nights are six months long,

Let's not talk about the North Pole.

Oh, I get it. The explorer.

- Look, about that sketch...

- It doesn't matter now.

But it does. I'll do something about it.

I'll have them take it out of the show.

You know, I started out

this evening hating you.

And here I am ending up

liking you an awful lot.

Well, when two people can laugh

their way into love, they're lucky.

You know, back there in the park...

I wasn't kidding.

Nor was I.

These are also from Mr Blake, madam.

Aren't they lovely?

But where shall I put them?

- Oh, here, put them here.

- Yes, madam.

- Take these to the library.

- The library's already filled.

Well, then, put them by the window.

And be careful.

- Good morning, darling.

- Good morning, Aunt Fritz.

- Heavens, where did you get the flowers?

- Aunt Fritz, he's wonderful, he's divine.

- Who's wonderful? Who's divine?

- Gary Blake.

- What is he? A florist?

- No, darling. You'll adore him.

That's him now!

- Hello, this is Mr Hasenpfeffer speaking.

- Hello, darling.

I have some bad news for you. They refused

to take that sketch out of the show.

Oh.

I had a row with the producer and told him

if it stayed as it was, I'd walk out.

Gary, you mustn't. I won't let you. The

show's a big success and it means a lot to you.

I know it does.

- I've done the next best thing.

- What's that?

I've been working on it

and I've changed it in such a way

I know it won't be offensive,

I promise you that.

Oh, that's nice of you. You're a darling.

Am I going to see you tonight?

Hmm. You won't be able to avoid me.

I have it. We'll all come

and see the show, the whole family.

You've got to meet Father sometime anyway.

You're going to love Aunt Fritz.

I'm a cinch if she's related to you.

What's she like?

Aunt Fritz? Oh, she's just a sweet old lady.

Lace cap, rocking chair, knitting.

Practically Whistler's Mother.

Fine talk!

- Supper afterwards, maybe?

- Supper afterwards, positively.

The only trouble about tonight

is it's too far off.

Goodbye, darling.

Aunt Fritz, I'm in love,

I'm in love, I'm in love.

# This year's crop of kisses

# Don't seem as sweet to me

# This year's crop just misses

# What kisses used to be

# This year's new romance

# Doesn't seem to have a chance

# Even helped by Mr Moon above

# This year's crop of kisses

# Is not for me

# For I'm still wearing last year's love

# This year's crop of kisses

# Don't seem as sweet to me

# This year's crop just misses

# What kisses used to be

# This year's new romance

# Doesn't seem to have a chance

# Even helped by Mr Moon above

# This year's crop of kisses

# Is not for me

# For I'm still wearing

# Last year's love

Oh, help yourself.

Want some potato chips? Want some?

I've been doing work on the Caraway sketch.

Rewrote it, part of it.

- Wasn't it good enough?

- No, it's just the hit of the show, that's all.

I know it's the hit of the show.

I think we can get the same results,

without making Miss Caraway look silly.

It's practically the same thing,

just toned down a little.

When you enter, I don't think it's necessary

to smoke with that long cigarette holder,

- or wear all that phoney jewellery.

- That will improve it a lot.

Certainly it will. Here's the idea.

We make the same entrance without the dogs.

- It's not fair to mock anyone that loves dogs.

- You're right.

I'll play the old man

with a little more dignity.

You play Mimi...

Well, make her a little more ladylike.

The idea is just not to make

Miss Caraway look ridiculous.

Of course not. We mustn't make

Miss Caraway look ridiculous.

Mr Blake, there's a lady

named Miss Mimi Caraway

wanna see you on the telephone, please.

OK, Step. Excuse me.

Miss Caraway, huh?

Well, if he thinks I'm gonna play stooge

to that human cash register, he's crazy.

I understand the sketch has been rewritten.

There's nothing in it embarrassing to us.

That's right, darling. Gary gave me his word.

- John, that's you.

- Shh. Quiet.

Hello. Yes, Commodore.

Your father calling, Miss Mimi.

- Yes, Papa dear.

- Oh, Mimi.

What is it you want, you old, fat walrus?

Shh!

My dear, if we're going to the opera,

you'd better hurry.

Oh, but, Papa dear,

I don't want to go to the opera.

I'm going to stay home and give the pigs a

bath. And I want you and Auntie to help me.

- John, that's me.

- Keep quiet!

Shh!

Come on, let's get out of here.

- Call my car.

- Yes, sir, Mr Caraway.

Without a doubt, that is the most

disgraceful exhibition I've ever seen.

The sketch is even worse than it ever was.

I know it is, Father. I never thought

Gary would do a thing like that.

What are you laughing at?

What's so funny about it?

I haven't laughed this much

since the night you kicked the butler

and broke your big toe.

- Gary! Gary!

- What's up?

- Where's Gary? He's on next. Get him!

- Gary Blake!

- What's the matter?

- Find Gary, he's on next.

Mr Blake! Mr Blake!

- Good evening, sir.

- Good evening, James.

- Rather chilly, sir.

- Chilly?

- Yes, sir. The snow is snowing.

- Really?

- The wind is blowing.

- Ah, but, James...

# I can weather the storm

# What do I care how much it may storm?

# I've got my love to keep me warm

A little bit of all right, sir.

# I can't remember a worse December

# Just watch those icicles form

# What do I care if icicles form?

# I've got my love to keep me warm

Rather.

# Off with my overcoat

# Off with my gloves

# I need no overcoat

# I'm burning with love

# My heart's on fire

# The flame grows higher

# So I will weather the storm

# What do I care how much it may storm?

# I've got my love to keep me warm

# What do I care how much it may storm?

# I've got my love to keep me warm

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