On the Avenue Page #6

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# Come on, there's lots

of fun in store for you

# See how the other half lives

# On Park Avenue

# Let's go slumming

# Take me slumming

# Let's go slumming on Park Avenue

# Let us hide behind a pair of fancy glasses

# And make faces

when a member of the classes passes

# Let's go smelling

# Where they're dwelling

# Sniffing everything the way they do

# Let us go to it, they do it

# Why can't we do it too?

# Let's go slumming, nose-thumbing

# At Park Avenue

# Let us go to it, they do it

# Why can't we do it too?

# Let's go slumming, nose-thumbing

# At Park Avenue

# Let us go to it, they do it

# Why can't we do it too?

# Let's go smelling

# Where they're dwelling

# Sniffing everything the way they do

# Let us go to it, they do it

# Why can't we do it too?

# Let's go slumming, nose-thumbing

# At Park Avenue

# Let's go slumming

# Take me slumming

# Let's go...

- # Let us hide behind a pair of fancy glasses

- Hiya, babe.

# And make faces

when a member of the classes passes

# Let's go smelling

# Let's...

- Hey, you look gorgeous!

- That's what he said to me.

This boy wants to dance with you.

# Let us go to it, they do it

- # Why can't we do it too?

- Let's go!

Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

Hey! Hey!

- Hey! Hey!

- Hey! Hey!

Hey! Hey!

Eddie, I don't know

what's going to happen tonight,

but should I faint,

have me carried to my car.

Yeah? Suppose I faint first?

# I love you, which is easy to see

# But I have to keep guessing

# How you feel about me

# You listen to the words that I speak

# But I feel that you listen

# With your tongue in your cheek

# You're laughing at me

# I can't be sentimental

for you're laughing at me

# I know

- # I want to be romantic

- This is murder.

# But I haven't a chance

# You've got a sense of humour

# And humour is death to romance

Figaro, Figaro, Figaro!

- Hiya, Fig.

- Hiya, boys.

Eek! Ooh!

Congratulations on your performance

tonight. You were never more magnetic.

My contract.

At least I don't have to work for you.

- But you can't...

- When I said you were the poorest sport,

I must have been tongue-tied.

You're a spoiled brat!

You used your money to do a cheap,

cowardly trick. I hope it makes you happy.

# This year's new romance

# Doesn't seem to have a chance

# Even helped by Mr Moon above

# This year's crop of kisses

# Is not for me

# For I'm still wearing

# Last year's love

- Hello, Helena.

- Hello, Gary.

Big doings here tonight, huh?

Well, hello, honey child. Mind if I join you?

- If you want to.

- Certainly I want to.

- Luigi, how about a little service over here?

- Yes, Mr Blake.

Food for a starving man

and wine for a beautiful lady.

None of that red ink

you've been serving round here.

Champagne, Luigi. I'm celebrating tonight.

You're gonna have a bottle of the finest

champagne I got in the house.

- The finest will be none too good.

- Yes, Mr Blake.

I knew I'd find you here.

We haven't been here

for a long time, have we?

Nope.

Well, I don't mind saying

I'm glad to see you.

I'm glad you're glad.

Well, it's a small world, I always say.

What do you always say?

I always say, "Where's that champagne?"

Right. Luigi, where's that champagne?

Coming, Mr Blake.

# Let's go slumming, nose-thumbing

# At Park Avenue

Funny thing about that song. That's just what I've been doing

- slumming on Park Avenue.

Anyway, it didn't work.

I guess I was on the wrong street.

Sure.

A boy from across the tracks

is taken for a ride.

At least I don't have to see

that lady any more. And am I glad.

Here's to you, honey.

You know, I never did think

you were a good actor. Now I know it.

- What?

- Oh, nothing. Just thinking out loud.

- Bottoms up.

- Bottoms up.

- Marie. Get me a drink.

- It's almost time for the ceremony to start.

- Get me a drink, and I don't mean a little one!

- Yes, Miss.

It's no use, Miss. Just a moment, please.

I tell you Miss Caraway can't see anyone.

Well, she'll see me!

Come back here!

You can't go in there.

- You can't come in here.

- Well, I'm in.

I'm sorry, but I must ask you to leave.

I'm not leaving here

till I speak to Miss Caraway.

Well?

I tried to reach you by telephone,

but you refused to talk to me.

- So I thought I'd use this method.

- Go on.

I just want to talk to you for one minute -

and it's a very important minute for you.

Very well.

- Alone.

- Wait outside, please.

This is the nearest I'll get

to smelling orange blossom.

- What do you want?

- All right. I won't take up much of your time.

I didn't come here because I wanted to

or because I'm crazy about you.

I came to square something for Gary Blake.

I'm not interested

in anything concerning him.

Say, that don't make me mad.

I hope you're not.

But I want you to know

it wasn't his fault about the sketch.

- He didn't do it. I did.

- What do you mean?

Well, Gary changed the sketch to take the

sting out of it and make it all pretty for you.

I put in those cracks.

He didn't know about it until he heard them.

Why did you do a thing like that?

Why do women do

any of the crazy things they do?

I liked him and I thought he liked you,

so I tried to break it up.

Then it was a terrible thing

that I did to him, wasn't it?

Well, I wouldn't call it sweet.

I wonder... Where is he now?

He just left his hotel with a taxi full of

luggage. Nobody knew where he was going.

Then I guess it's too late.

Well, I just wanted you to know

that it wasn't his fault.

- You had courage to come and tell me this.

- More courage than sense. Good luck.

Thank you.

Marie. Marie!

- Yes, Miss.

- Where's Aunt Fritz?

She called and said she wouldn't be here.

- Wouldn't be here?

- I didn't quite understand it myself.

She said she knew you'd have a headache,

and one headache at a wedding was enough.

That's all.

- Fred, aren't you a little bit nervous?

- No. I've had a certain amount of experience.

Will you really honeymoon at the North Pole?

Why not? I only wish we might

have held the marriage there too.

- I would have liked you boys to have seen it.

- Mr Sims, the ceremony is about to start.

Well, here we go, gentlemen.

All right, boys. Play, and play loud!

Come here.

Mimi! Mimi! Mimi!

Mimi! Mimi! Mimi!

Mimi! Mimi! Mimi!

Get down!

Get down! Down, I tell you! Get down!

Quick, there's a taxi

waiting. Now, get in it.

The city hall, and don't spare the horses!

Get down, I said!

Who locked me in that room

with that pack of wolves?

Get down! Get down!

- Where's Mimi?

- I don't know, but your tie's crooked.

Father, why are we going to the city hall?

To get a marriage licence,

so you can become Mrs Hasenpfeffer.

Why, Mr Hasenpfeffer!

Darling, I think coffee and doughnuts

would make a lovely wedding breakfast.

Special for today,

we have pig's foot and sauerkraut.

For soup, we got vegetable soup, creamed

tomato, asparagus, split pea and oxtail.

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