On the Beat Page #5

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La la Sing!

Home, sweet home

coming through the rye...

The maestro is in great form today.

- We're being watched.

- Are we?

Do something to my hair.

- What shall l do?

- Anything.

Pitkin!

For heaven's sake, go away.

My new hat! You've ruined it!

How dare you?

(Sobbing)

- What's the matter?

- You've made me look so lovely.

- But you are lovely.

- Yes, l know.

- l like all my ladies to look lovely.

- But l'm rather special, aren't l?

You've made me feel so happy.

l'm... l'm happy, too.

Oberon! Over here.

Eh? lsn't she lovely?

Have a closer look.

- Oberon!

- Oh, Giulio!

Excuse me, l can't bear it.

- Pitkin, have you discovered anything?

- Not yet.

(Sobbing)

Pitkin, pull yourself together.

- l've got to talk to you.

- All right, then.

- No, no, no.

- l've got to be doing something.

Don't cut off any more of my hair.

Well, come over here.

You've got to do something.

- l'll give you a shampoo.

- l've had a sham...

l didn't mean that!

Have a shave.

Pitkin...you've got to find out

(Nasally) where those microphones

lead to.

(Nasally) How do l do that?

Trace the wires. Follow them through

to the very end.

(Nasally) Sergeant Wilkins, l shall trace

those wires if it's the last thing l ever do.

Oh, Giulio, put me down, put me down!

Try not to create suspicion.

ls an outrage! l demand you release

my client immediately.

l have here the habeus corpus.

Keep calm. Why don't we sit down

and talk this over quietly?

- No sit down!

- No sit down!

- No talk!

- No talk!

- Release us.

- Release us.

- Scotland Yard we will sue!

- Scotland Yard we will sue!

- Shut-a your mouth.

- Shut your mouth.

Shut-a YOUR mouth.

(Both yelling in ltalian)

- ls there anything wrong, Giulio?

- Someone's standing on the wire.

- We're having trouble with the girl.

- Yeah? Uh, the girl?

She's breaking the place up.

You'd better come.

Erm... You lead-a the way-a.

What's the matter? Aren't you coming?

Sergeant Wilkins!

(Whimpers)

Stop, stop!

Va all'inferno!

Rosanna!

Leave me alone.

Odio! Odio! Odio!

Get out of it, all of you.

Go on, leave it to Giulio.

No, don't! No! No, no, no, no, no.

lt's all right, Rosanna.

Look, it's me, Norman.

Norman? What are you do here?

Collecting evidence against Giulio

Napolitani. We haven't got much time.

- Where's the safe?

- No, we are not safe.

You don't understand, do you?

The safe!

l've had to let Napolitani go.

He's on his way to the salon.

lt's not giving Pitkin time enough.

We'll have to raid the premises.

Here you are, sir.

Thank-a you for-a nothing!

- Norman. Norman!

- Not now. l'm looking for something.

- ls this what you are look for?

- No, l want the safe.

Giulio. Giulio?

- You're upstairs.

- No, no, l am downstairs. Upstairs is...

All right.

Presto, presto! Dobbiamo partire.

This is a job where you've got to hurry

up and keep calm at the same time.

l can't understand it.

l thought it'd be easy.

l thought it'd just be click-click-click,

and then clack-clack.

And then all of a sudden, open sesame.

All you need is the combinations.

l know that. How to get the combination,

that's the thing, ain't it?

Ooh!

Erm... What you gonna have?

You look like me but not so handsome.

Who are you?

l am Police Constable Pitkin

of Scotland Yard,

and l warn you that anything you say will

be taken down and used in evidence.

Shut-a your mouth.

l kill you. l smash-a you.

l slit-a your throat from here to here.

l feel it's only fair to warn you

that to slit a policeman's throat

from here to here, definitely illegal.

Shall l kill him now, boss?

(Giulio) No, not-a yet.

OK, the police want-a Giulio,

they get-a Giulio.

But not-a this one.

All right, kill him, but not here.

- What about the girl?

- No, no. l'll give in. Leave her alone.

(Norman) l'll go. Please.

No, Norman. Giulio!

You can't do this. He only do his job.

Please don't kill him.

All right, all right. Vince, Manzini, take

him for a ride in the country in my car.

No monkey business.

Otherwise Mr Pitkin, bang bang.

Bang!

Giulio Napolitani, you are under arrest.

No, Ron, you're making a mistake.

l'm Norman, see?

You fool!

Napolitani must still be in the salon.

Come on.

Ron! No, Ron, l couldn't help it. Ron!

- Cover the door. Don't let him in.

- Yes, sir.

All right, nobody leave the premises.

- What do you want?

- You're under arrest.

- Superintendent?

- Not now, madam.

Hobson!

- Giulio Napolitani, you are under arrest.

- Oh, Ron! How many more times?

Look, it's me, Norman.

l told you to keep out of here.

Hobson!

Get this man out...

Giulio Napolitani, you are under arrest.

Don't be ridiculous, this is Pitkin.

Siete pazzi, voi inglesi.

Non vedete che questo Giulio.

- Constable, look after this young lady.

- Questo il vero Giulio, non Norman!

Napolitani.

Giulio Napoli...

Pitkin?

Giulio Napolitani, you are under arrest.

Pack it up, Cecil!

Ron, you're wrong, Ron.

Wrong again, Ron.

Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, Ron!

Giulio Napo...

Giu...

Ah!

Just as l thought.

Giulio, on behalf of Ron Ackroyd,

Cecil Hobson... Erm...

Bert Belcher and indeed, all the lot of us,

l hereby place you under arrest.

Now you are in trouble!

Damaging a police constable's hat -

and it's not mine either.

Oh, Ron will be pleased.

We've got the whole place surrounded,

so Napolitani must still be inside.

l know that, Belcher, but where?

Hobson, that man again.

- Pitkin, what have you got in there?

- Washing! Eh, Ron?

- Put him under arrest.

- What for?

Pitkin!

No, Ron, that is Giulio. l am Pitkin!

l know. Have him taken away.

No, no, no. The prisoner.

Well done, Constable Pitkin.

Constable?

You mean l'm still in the force?

- You're a credit to the force.

- Oh, Ron! Ron!

Now you've got everything

you ever wanted.

- Well, no, there's one little thing.

- What's that?

Well...l want some leave.

- Leave? What for?

- Um, well...

l want to get married.

( Wedding March)

Hold it, group.

(Police whistles)

(Whistles feebly)

Wait for me!

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