On the Double Page #8

( speaks in German )

( whistle blowing )

( indistinct chattering )

( woman speaking in German )

( crowd screaming )

( all speaking in German )

( dramatic theme playing )

( speaking indistinctly )

( gunshot )

( women singing in German )

( speaks in German )

( audience applauding

and cheering )

( band playing music )

( audience applauding

and cheering )

NARRATOR:

The German notes on this point

were somewhat fragmentary.

But bear in mind that Sigmund

Freud came from this country.

( man speaks in German )

( women screaming )

( speaking in German )

( audience applauding )

MAN:

Fraulein Lilly.

( band playing music )

( singing in German )

( audience laughing )

( audience applauding )

( speaking in German )

( chuckles )

( indistinct chattering )

( singing in German )

( audience laughing )

( audience applauding )

( man speaking in German )

( chuckles )

( chuckles )

Oh!

( audience applauding )

( all speaking in German )

( all singing in German )

( dramatic theme playing )

( all speaking in German )

( man speaking in German )

I have to start

the machine.

( all speaking in German )

( gunfire )

( plane engine whirring )

( all speaking in German )

( gunfire )

( gunfire )

( dramatic theme playing )

ERNIE ( speaking in English ):

Stop! Stop! Let me outta here.

Just in time.

( speaking in German )

Don't shoot. Oh.

( Ernie speaking

indistinctly )

Sir, we've captured

a German paratrooper

attempting to infiltrate

this headquarters.

He's demanded

the right to see

the commanding officer

personally.

MAN:

Very well. Bring him in.

Bring in the prisoner.

Heh, Puffy!

Puffy, am I glad to see you.

All right.

I'll talk to the prisoner.

Prisoner? Puffy, don't you

know me? I'm Binky.

ERNIE:
I'm not really Binky.

Ernie. Yes. Private First Class

Ernie Williams.

Heh, I fooled you.

I fooled the Germans.

Heh, call Somerset.

He'll tell you.

Wilson. This seems to be

a top secret matter.

I'd like to get to the bottom

of this alone.

Dismissed.

Oh, Puffy, if you know

what I've been through.

I've been in submarines,

airplanes. I've been in Berlin.

I've even been at

the Gestapo headquarters.

Know what I did?

I stole some of the papers

out of the secret files naming

all the agents in England.

People you would never suspect.

I've got them right here.

General Carleton Brown

Wiffingham. Sergeant, er...

General Carleton Brown...

Yes, my dear

Private Williams.

If that is who you are!

You'll never get away

with this, Puffy.

Um, hello?

( dramatic theme playing )

Open up, please, sentry.

Urgent.

I'm sorry, sir. You can't

enter this headquarters.

Colonel Somerset

is general staff.

He has my identification.

I'm sorry, sir.

Where's the Sergeant

of the Guards?

This is a matter of life

and death, Sergeant.

Open up, please.

Sorry, sir.

All entry permits

have been cancelled

for the day.

Orders of

General Brown Wiffingham.

We've had

General Brown Wiffingham

under surveillance for weeks.

Wilson!

Hold that man.

The whole project,

the Dead Pigeon.

Or I will be.

Yeah, hello?

This German paratrooper

is masquerading

as an allied soldier.

Under the king's rules

and regulations

he is guilty of espionage

and subject to immediate

execution.

CARLETON:

Wilson, the penalty for

insubordination

is still the same. Take that

spy out and have him shot.

Shot? Uh...

But Puffy, you and I played

Rukka together for Scotland.

Ah, the MacKenzie Smith

Highlanders.

( dramatic theme playing )

WILSON:

Firing squad is ready, sir.

Dismissed.

No. Not you.

Maybe she's forgotten

who I am.

You will tell her,

won't you?

I mean you'll tell her that

I wasn't scared at all.

I'll get word

to Lady Margaret.

Cigarette?

No. No, thank you.

But I don't think

one could hurt me.

Match?

( coughs )

That won't be necessary.

Prepare to aim!

Squad ready!

Aim!

Just a minute. I think I will

have that blind fold.

WILSON:

Squad rest. Rest. Rest!

Uh, not too tight.

I get dizzy. See?

Squad ready! Aim!

( upbeat theme playing )

MAN ( over radio ):

It is only fitting

that Britain today

should do honor

( door bell rings )

to the valiant heroes

who have made this day

possible.

are already familiar

to you.

General Eisenhower

forthwith...

Good afternoon,

Lay Margaret.

Lovely day for England.

Huh? Thank you, madam.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I couldn't tell you before.

Security reasons.

Anyhow we dashed down to

the South Hampton

staging area hoping

to get there on time.

By jove, that's a pretty dress

you've got on.

Never mind about the dress.

We were held up

at the gate.

The firing party had

raised their rifles.

I heard the command,

Yes?

Good Lord.

I'd love a cup of tea.

Oh, yes. Oh, tea.

Yes.

And what then?

Um, some milk and sugar

if I may, please.

Private Williams.

Oh, yes.

Yeah. He's absolutely fine.

We only got there

in the nick of time.

It was a bit of a do.

Where is he?

When can I see him?

How many lumps you put

in here?

He can see you any time.

He's at the base hospital.

Not much matter with him.

Just shock and fatigue

and the after effects

of smoking.

( man speaking indistinctly

over radio )

Wonder if you'd mind

if I turned up your radio.

MAN ( over radio ):

General Sir Lawrence

MacKenzie Smith.

The architect of the invasion.

The master planner

whom we had believed

killed

in performance

of his duties,

actually survived

and was taken prisoner

by the Nazis.

I rejoice along

with all of England

that he was liberated

in the first among...

MARGARET:

Larry.

We've just heard

the news that--

Yes. I know.

Do try to control

your joyous hysteria

at my return

from the grave, Maggie.

I know how pleased

you are to see me.

Oh, sir, Lawrence, you can't

even begin to realize--

Oh, come off it,

Somerset.

You were just as

pleased to see me

Oh, no, please, please.

Lawrence.

Will you

get out of here!

I have a few matters of

a very intimate nature

to discuss with

my dearly beloved.

You may listen

at the keyhole.

If you'll pardon me,

I'm going over to the enemy.

Heil Hitler!

I see you haven't lost

your charming ways

with your subordinates.

I hear you haven't either,

my dear.

What's this I hear about you

and that American private?

It's all true.

Oh, come now.

A penniless common soldier.

A complete nonentity.

I've had my fill

of entities.

Next thing

you'll be saying

you're in love with

the blighter.

I am in love

with the blighter.

Heh.

( romantic theme playing )

How did you manage?

I mean, how...

Well, look, you see.

They wanted to give me

a medal,

but all I asked for was

a smart technician

from the Signal Corp with

a recorder and a microphone.

That's why you heard

what you did on the radio.

General Lawrence

McKenzie Smith,

the architect of the invasion,

the master planner.

( chuckles )

Did you mean it?

And I had you fooled

every minute.

Every minute.

NARRATOR:

For those of you

who are curious

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