Once I Was a Beehive Page #3

I don't believe we've met.

Oh, this is my brother's

stepdaughter, Lane.

She's staying with us

for a few weeks.

Oh, will you be

joining us for camp?

Oh, no, she's staying

here with Ben.

Oh, you don't want to stay

here with boring, old Ben.

Come with us, the mountains

are so beautiful

this time of year.

The weather is perfect.

I mean, wouldn't you

rather come along?

Um, i...

I think she'd rather

have some cereal.

Of course.

But if you change your mind,

the offer's still on the table.

You didn't tell me you had

a nonmember staying with you.

How exciting.

Did I make her

feel welcome enough?

Sister Carrington's really nice,

but she can be a little intense.

Is she, like, a nun

or something?

Oh, no, we call everyone

brother or sister in our church.

I think that's why some

people think we're Amish.

- They do?

- They think a lot of things.

We have got to get her to come.

I'll take care

of all the paperwork.

It'll be no big deal.

I can do it.

Carrie, I'm not gonna push this.

She's been through a lot lately,

and I don't want to force her

into a high-pressure

situation like this.

More like highly uplifting

and highly entertaining.

Camp could be

exactly what she needs.

So what's that camp thing

she was talking about?

Once every year, all the girls

from our church get together

and go camping for a week.

And they plan it for,

like, a year in advance.

This is the first year

I'm old enough to go.

You excited?

Okay, all right.

I trust you.

Oh, but it'd be so great

for the trial of faith

this year if we had even

numbers.

Oh, and then we could do

the parable of the ten virgins.

Even if she does come,

we still wouldn't have enough.

- What do you mean?

- I'm not going.

Why not?

Let me see... bears,

cougars, coyotes,

forest fires, moose...

Yeah, moose,

poison Ivy, poison oak,

poisonous snakes,

wolves, wolverines,

for starters.

She's your daughter.

You have to put your foot down.

It's not that simple.

Uh, until she's 18

it's very simple.

Mainly just because I don't

really fit in

with the other girls.

They don't talk to me

like you do.

How do I talk to you?

Just normal,

like you're actually interested.

None of them really like me.

I'm the youngest one,

the only beehive.

Beehive?

Oh, we call all the first-year

campers beehives.

Why do they call them beehives?

Why don't they just

call them bees?

I've been saying that for years.

Can I talk to her?

Maybe if it comes from her

leader, and not her mom...

Yeah, but I don't think

that's gonna make any diff...

Okay. Phoebe?

Sweetheart?

Lane, could you please

excuse us for a second?

- Yeah.

- Thank you.

Phoebe, what's this I hear

about you not coming to camp?

The girls need you.

You're the only beehive.

Your mom needs your help.

I need your sweet spirit.

We're gonna have so much fun.

You have to come!

Of course I would love

for you to come,

sweetie, but I want

it to be your choice.

But it won't be

the same without you.

Come on, just give it a shot,

just for me?

What if I come to the bee's nest

with you?

I mean, what if I come be a bee

in the hive...

What if I come to camp with you?

Will that change your mind?

I'm gonna start packing.

Well, it looks

like my work here is done.

I will see you both bright

and early Tuesday morning, okay?

You are gonna get along

with the girls so well.

Oh, and I can't wait

for you to meet my Bree.

Okay, toodle-oo.

You really don't have

to do this.

It's okay. I want to.

I mean, it might be good for me

to get up in the mountains and...

Thank you.

I just hope I'm not messing up,

like, the Mormon vibe,

or whatever.

No, not at all.

I'm not gonna be totally

weirded out by anything, am I?

Noah, he built him,

he built him an arky, arky

Noah, he built him,

he built him an arky, arky

Noah, he built him,

he built him an arky, arky

Made it out of gopher barky,

barky, children of the lord

Children of the lord!

So rise and shine

and give god your glory, glory

Rise and shine and give god

your glory, glory

Rise and shine and give god

your glory, glory

Children of the lord

Children of the lord!

This was it.

I was done for.

They were bringing me

to a compound to be married off

and hidden forever,

I was sure of it.

The most diabolical part

was somehow, they made it

my decision to go.

- Children of the lord!

- Bring it home!

So rise and shine and give god...

How did they do it?

Carrie Carrington,

the mastermind, that's how.

You can't tell me

that's her real name.

It sounded like the leader

of the care bears

or the alter ego

of a Christian superhero.

It turned out, her superpower

was endless amounts of energy

without a single cup of coffee.

What are

the young women's values?

Faith, divine nature,

individual worth, knowledge,

choice and accountability,

good works,

integrity, and virtue.

- Virtue.

- Whoo!

All right, girls.

I love the mountains.

Let's really belt it out

for the first years, okay?

Bree was the spawn of Carrie,

equal in enthusiasm and energy.

She was the "president"

of the girls her age,

and she wouldn't go five minutes

without reminding you.

She was usually flanked

by her Bestie, Paige,

one of those genetic lottery

winners,

the kind who would school you

in lacrosse on purpose

and then steal your boyfriend

in ap chem on accident.

I love the flowers

Then there's Charlotte.

We all know girls

who are boy crazy,

but when it comes to guys,

this one was criminally insane.

Okay!

Boring.

Let's do mormon boy.

Mormon, Mormon, Mormon,

Mormon, Mormon, Mormon, Mormon

I know a Mormon boy

He is my pride and joy

If there's

one thing Mormons love

more than making up

ridiculous songs,

it's making up ridiculous names.

Hence, the Anderson sisters...

Mykelle, Myleka, and Makenna.

It's like their parents

were playing scrabble

and had to use

the same seven letters

to make seven different names.

Yup, there were four other

m-initialed Anderson siblings

I hadn't met.

I know a Mormon boy

Mindy was

your typical attention hog.

The girl's constantly

doing accents and impressions,

and she wasn't bad either.

I guess when you live

in a community of conformity,

you have to find creative ways

to express yourself.

Good for her.

- Mormon, Mormon

- sing it again

I know a Mormon boy

He is my pride and joy

Hannah's parents

said she had to go to camp

or she couldn't get

her driver's license.

So she decided

to bite the bullet

and bring her brooding angst

along with her.

She claimed to only listen

to obscure bands

or rock legends,

but I definitely saw

some I'd on her playlist.

Someone's been reading

my Bible

Someone's been reading,

I know

But I didn't blame her.

Even one direction

is better than those camp songs.

And they took

my triple combo

Keeping the commandments

is so cool

Choose the right,

don't be a fool

Choose the right

at home and school

Keeping the commandments

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