One by Two Page #2

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That's as sharp as a razor blade

Makes you take pride

in one's own stupidity

Everyone knows the feeling

but the reason remains hidden

That's the secret I'm talking about.

Why does being in love feel so good?

Who knows the reason why

Has it happened for real

Or is it just wishful thinking?

Wishful thinking...

Wishful thinking...

Wishful thinking...

- Get off!

- Why?-Get off!

What are you trying to do?

Nothing at all.

What was that all about?

We're not together, remember?

I don't own you,

you don't own me.

You're the one who

laid down the rules.

C'mon, Jonathan!

Look, I've been playing

this game longer than you have.

Don't insult my intelligence, ok.

So, what do you want?

You want to play

boyfriend-girlfriend?

I thought you were "too

old" for relationships.

Don't say childish things.

You, know, You're just

pissed off because you wanted me

to be all into you and

not the other way around.

Listen, Just forget it.

Fine, you're not

bothered anyway, right?

Listen up guys!

The lead dancers

for the Goa show will be

Mann...

...and Shama!

Hey you world,

You're still two steps behind

Gonna throw your attitude

Right back in your face.

If you think you're fire,

I'm the wind.

Take your baggage

and leave out that door.

Hey you world,

You're still two steps behind.

Gonna throw your attitude

right back in your face.

If you think you're fire,

I'm the wind.

Take your baggage

and leave out that door.

Maybe today's your day, your time,

your turn.

But you're gonna regret the day

it's my turn.

Don't mess with me,

I'm warning you now.

Cause if I get angry

My finger will pull the trigger

And no one will be

able to stop that bullet.

Kaboom! Kaboom!

Kaboom! Boom! Boom!

It's my pawn! It's my move!

Kaboom! Kaboom!

Kaboom! Boom! Boom!

It's my pawn! It's my move!

Always your wish, your way!

Little by little

Even my happiness was at your mercy

lam me, You are you.

Why should I do things your way?

It's my journey, my path, my destiny.

But you're gonna regret

the day it's my turn.

Don't mess with me,

I'm warning you now.

Cause if I get angry My

finger will pull the trigger

And no one will be

able to stop that bullet.

Kaboom! Kaboom!

Kaboom! Boom! Boom!

It's my pawn! It's my move!

Kaboom! Kaboom!

Kaboom! Boom! Boom!

It's my pawn! It's my move!

Kaboom! Kaboom!

Kaboom! Boom! Boom!

It's my pawn! It's my move!

It's my pawn! It's my move!

Kaboom! Kaboom!

Kaboom! Boom! Boom!

Hey Aunty, Move!

Hey Aunty, Move! Move!

She was so out of tune!

Oh! That's sick, man!

That's so sick, it's not human!

I've seen this film before.

Which film?

This film.

Which one?

The Guy crashes his

motorbike to save The Girl.

The Girl seeing

The Guy bleed, faints.

The Guy carries

The Girl in his arms.

Mihir Listen!

Two wounded soldiers, victims of this

inhuman urban jungle

Mihir!

Yes?

Quashed, suppressed,

trampled upon human beings

waiting in the hospital's

emergency ward realize...

- What do they realize?

- Listen!

They realize that they're the same,

exactly like each other.

- What's that word...

- Clichd fools.

Thank you my friend, thank you.

Clichd fools.

And all they want in life is a partner

with whom they can share

their monotonous, boring existence.

Right, Amit?

Mihir. Help. Shoes.

You know what you

should have done?

You should have run

that woman's fat ass down

Mihir!

She didn't have a fat ass.

She had a small ass.

What?

Don't worry.

Your ass isn't small.

- It's perfect. Heart shaped.

- Mihir.

That hurt, ok!

- Shut up!

- You shut up

- You shut up

- You shut up

- You shut up

- You shut up

C'mon. Dance with me.

Mom!

No nos. Only yeses. C'mon.

Mom, I've decided to

enter a dance competition.

Ok...

The top prize is ten lakhs

WOW!

And a chance to choreograph

a song in a film.

And my beautiful dancer

will surely win.

Now show me your moves!

- Yeah?

- Yes!

Amu, eat some more paneer.

Your arm is fractured.

You need calcium.

You should have shared your theory

with the doctor.

He would have locked the bone in place

with paneer. Instant glue!

Done with your one-liners?

What kind of a father are you?

Your son had an accident!

You should be ashamed of yourself.

Here I almost died of fear and you...

Believe me,

for the last thirty two years,

I've been slowly

dying of fear as well.

Oh really? My father kidnapped you

and forced you to marry me?

And what about me?

Having to deal with you?

Hey! What kind of a shot was that?

It was a perfectly good shot.

A good shot?Have you

seen the size of this table?

It's not a regulation size table.

Play properly.

So that means

I win no points at all?

No points!

You're playing the world championship?

C'mon let's play!

You think you're a Chinese player?

Yes, exactly! Can't you see?

You know what's special about mothers?

Unconditional love.

No matter what kids do or say,

We give them unconditional love.

Now watch this!

Hey! What's happening here?

Death by TT ball?

Is that how you plan

on getting rid of me?

Better than death

by Mr.Sharma's jokes.

All my life all I've done is work,

work, work!

Get a backache teaching kids

at school and at home.

Give me a headache.

- Cook the food.

- Cook my brains.

- Wash the dishes

- Wash yourself.

- Wash the clothes

- Mom, please! You don't need to feel alone.

I'm here for you.

Tell me, what do you want?

Anything.

Really? Anything?

I've got some pictures here.

Of what? Fridge? Food Processor?

Which model?

They're all exactly like models.

Look - this is Shishika, Neha and Ira.

But I like Shishika the best.

Sociology honours,

originally from Pathankot,

5 feet six inches,

fair, a bit on the heavy side

but perfect daughter-in-law material.

Look. One meeting?

- Mummy, please...not this.

- Please!

One meeting, just one.

Mummy, no emotional

blackmailing please.

Radhika left you, right?

At least that girl had some brains!

Sushil, this is between my son and I.

Please, one meeting. Only one.

Will you break your mother's heart?

Ok.

Finally, the gold medal

is presented to Mrs. Meenu Sharma.

Shishika!

Dude! Disgusting.

It's not my fault.

I had paneer for dinner.

P for Paneer. P for Punjabis.

P for Poot.

You've been fermenting

it to make turd toddy?

Listen, we're cubicle rats.

- Fermentation is the name of the game.

- Shut up

One of these days, they're gonna find

my dead body in my cubicle

And you know what will

be emanating from it?

What?

Hydrogen sulphide created

by your artistic flatulence.

My eyes. I'm blind! My eyes!

Stop overacting.

This is the reason you only got to

play trees in the annual school play.

Just Shut up.

Please, I can't die before selling

my start up for millions!

Help!

Finally, silence!

Dance Reality show No.350.

Don't people have

anything better to do?

All because of that stupid woman.

You can do it! You can do it!

Do it!

Washing powder Nirma.

Milky white cleansing

That's the power of Nirma

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