One Day Page #2

Take me for lunch

tomorrow, will you?

Just you and me. Somewhere quiet

with white tablecloths.

I want to talk to you.

Why? Is something wrong?

No. Nothing's wrong.

Then why do we need to talk?

Do I need a reason?

There you are.

Degenerate.

Now, I thought

you might want these.

Oh, thank you, my love.

So what's for supper?

Please, God, not French food.

Golden Boy wants to see you.

Hmm?

He's got a new one.

Good night.

Good night.

Night.

Good night.

Have a good one.

We were just kissing.

You were trying to fit her

entire head in your mouth.

People have enough trouble

keeping the food down as it is.

And what does she

see in you, anyway?

Well, she says

I'm complicated.

You're just spoiled.

I got offered the job

of manager today.

They told me they wanted someone

who wasn't going anywhere.

All right, Em, listen. I think you

should take a bottle of tequila,

I think you should

walk out the door,

and I don't think you

need to ever come back.

But my job is my life.

You can't throw away years

of your life just because,

well, you think it's funny.

My hair smells of cheese.

Monterey Jack.

Look, I thought you

were writing poetry.

What, go where the money is?

Tried that. Failed.

You just can't

see it, can you?

Look, you're funny. You're attractive.

You're smart.

I mean, you're

the smartest person I know.

Sure.

You are. You're attractive.

You're sexy.

What?

What? Is that supposed to be

sexist or something?

No, it's not sexist.

It's just ridiculous.

Em, listen.

If I could just give

you one gift, all right,

one gift for the

rest of your life,

do you know what I'd give you?

Confidence.

It's either that

or a scented candle.

Come here.

Emma? So I've disinfected

the meat fridge.

My hero.

Thank you, Ian.

See you tomorrow.

Bye, mate.

Bye, Emma.

I should go, too.

All right.

I'll be fine. I just

feel a bit lost, that's all.

Come on, everyone's lost at 25.

You're not.

Trainee TV producer.

Nice new flat. CD player.

Group sex

Tuesdays and Fridays.

Yeah, but you know,

I am crying on the inside.

You know what you need,

don't you?

Mmm-mmm.

You need a holiday.

Look, Dexter, all I'm saying is

I think we need some rules.

Rules!

I'm not taking any chances

with our friendship,all right.

All right, all right.

Such as?

Separate bedrooms.

Wherever we stay, no shared beds,

no drunken cuddles.

I don't see the point

of cuddling, anyway.

Cuddling gives you cramp.

Agreed, then.

Rule number two.

No flirting.

No having a few drinks

and getting frisky with me.

Or anyone else.

Well, I never flirt.

I'm serious.

Hello, what's this?

Which leads me to rule three.

The nudity clause.

What?

I don't want to see you

in the shower, or have a wee.

Or have a wee in the shower.

Well, I can't promise that.

You have to, Dex.

It's the rules,

and absolutely

no skinny-dipping.

All right, then. Rule number four.

What?

No Scrabble.

I love Scrabble.

That is exactly

why it's my rule.

Look, we're not dead yet.

Voil.

What is that?

Hmm? My swimming costume.

It's called the Edwardian.

No, the masonry paint.

It's factor 30. I burn.

Here, let me.

I've not seen this before.

What, that?

I got that in Thailand.

It's a yin-yang.

Looks like a road sign.

Yeah, well, it means

"the perfect union of opposites."

It means "wear some socks."

This is scooped a

bit low, isn't it?

Good job I didn't

put it on backwards.

I think I'll go for a dip.

This is a nudist beach.

No, it's not.

It is. Look.

They're barbecuing!

You see, I couldn't do that.

Barbecue naked.

What is that?

Is that yoga?

Oh, God.

Grow up, all right.

Back to your magazine.

I can hear you thinking. It's

like this crunching noise.

The answer is no.

Don't you think we'd feel more

comfortable with our clothes off?

Unbelievable.

Just unbelievable.

Well, why not?

The rules. Not to

mention your girlfriend.

What, Ingrid?

Yeah, Ingrid.

She's very uninhibited.

She'd have had her top off

at the check-in desk.

Well, as you keep pointing out,

Ingrid used to be a model.

You could be a model.

For a catalog or something.

I'm just saying that we're not

entirely unknown to each other

from a physical point of view.

Drop it, Dex.

Well, you know,

that night after graduation.

Come on, you must remember.

No. Blanked it out

like a car crash.

Well, I haven't.

In fact, if I close my eyes,

I can still see you there just

standing in the dawn light.

Please don't.

Provocatively unclasping

your dungarees

as you walk over to me.

I was not wearing

dungarees.

So you do remember, huh?

Have I caught the sun?

No, you look...

You look fine.

Do you know I've

never been abroad?

What?

Don't be ridiculous.

It's true.

Fortnight in a caravan in Whitby

drinking Cup-a-Soup with Dad

and trying not to kill Mum.

I can't believe I'm

actually here with you.

Why?

Hmm?

Why?

When we were at university,

before we spoke even,

I had a crush on you.

Ridiculous, I know.

But when we almost

did it that night,

I couldn't believe it.

I wrote poems and everything.

What have you

got to say to that?

Well, I already knew.

What do you mean, you knew?

Well, I sort of guessed.

All those epic letters

and compilation tapes.

So, go on then.

What happened?

Mmm.

I got to know you.

You cured me of you.

I'd still like to read those poems.

What rhymes with Dexter?

Prick. It's a half-rhyme.

Too much wine. We should go.

No, no, no.

Not yet. Not yet.

Listen, let's go for a walk.

So this is it.

It's lovely.

Hello? What's going on here?

Well, I thought we'd go for

a quick swim. Sober us up.

Ah, I get it. I get it.

I've walked right

into it, haven't I?

You get a girl drunk and lead

her to a large body of water.

Oh, come on, Em.

Be spontaneous.

Be reckless.

Live for the moment!

Come on, Em. Get in!

No!

You're such a prude.

Why are you such a prude?

Look, come on!

You could at least

leave your underpants on.

Rule number three, remember?

Come on.

So this is skinny-dipping?

What am I meant to do? Sort of

lark about? Splash you or something?

That's a very serious face.

You're not having a wee, are you?

No.

No, I just wanted to say that

I felt the same.

After our near-miss.

I mean, I didn't write poems

or anything. I'm not insane.

But, you know,

I thought about you.

I think about you.

You and me.

Really?

Really? Okay, well...

Dex...

The problem is I fancy

pretty much everyone.

Oh. I see.

I mean anyone.

Really, I mean, it's like I've just

got out of prison, all the time.

It's a real problem.

I can imagine.

Yeah, and this thing with Ingrid,

it's a sex thing.

It's just sex,

sex, sex, sex, sex.

The point's been made, Dex.

But me and you,

it would be different.

I think we'd want

different things,

and I don't think

I'm ready, you know.

If you wanted to,

you know, have a bit of fun,

holiday fling,

no obligations.

Oh, God. I'll take that

as a no then, shall I?

I think so. I think

Rate this script:3.7 / 3 votes