One Fine Day Page #2

A real superwoman. Can't open

her door, won't shut her mouth.

Excuse me. Are you talking about me?

The first lady. We're thinking

about doing a piece on her.

You're insulted because I said I had

a presentation and you don't work.

I do work, Melanie.

I am the CEO of this household.

I'm sorry I can't help you out.

But you're perfect. You'll figure it out.

OK. OK. Bye.

OK, OK. Stay with me. There are cars.

Oh, thank God! It's still here!

- This is it.

- That's not it. There's nobody in there!

- Maybe they're upstairs.

- Upstairs.

Sammy, wait for me.

- I got it.

- No, I'm fine.

OK. Excuse me.

Go, go! Watch your step.

- It was the first boat. I'm telling you.

- There wasn't anybody on the first boat!

- Oh, no!

- It's OK. We can still make it. Goddammit!

Hey!

Hey, boat! Hey!

Hey, come here! Come back!

I got kids over here!

Come back! Hey!

I got kids here!

Goddammit!

Who wants to go on a boat

in the rain anyway?

I know. You did.

All right. Listen. Melanie.

I feel awful about this. I'm gonna

make it up to you. You too, kiddo.

All right?

OK.

Here's an idea. I watch the kids right now

while you do your presentation.

I heard you say you had one in 15 minutes.

And you watch her for me later today while

I do the column. It'll only take an hour or so.

Hi! Maggie Taylor calling.

I have an urgent message

for stupid Sammy Parker.

I'm not stupid. You're stupid.

I don't think so. I only let incredibly

responsible people watch my son.

I'm incredibly responsible.

- I'm hungry, Daddy.

- Want a Tic Tac?

- No.

- That's all I got.

Here, baby.

- What's that?

- A muffin. Thank you, Melanie.

You're welcome, sweetheart.

You were saying?

I was saying that maybe we could

just help each other out today.

Well...

Hey!

- Looks like you missed the boat.

- I guess we did.

I really don't need your help, but if I did,

you would be the very last

person I would turn to.

These are the class fish. They were

supposed to be back in the classroom at 8:30.

Now they are spending the day with you.

God, I am going to be so late.

I have such a day.

- A bus!

- But, Mom...

- Those aren't toys, honey.

- Mom, that's not your phone. Mom!

Don't be like that when you grow up.

She just drops off the... bag of cookies...

and tells me to keep 'em for a week.

How do you feel about the cookies, Jack?

Love the cookies.

Have a big problem with the...

- Cookie-maker?

- That's right.

The cookie-maker thinks

that all I am interested in

or all that I'm capable of handling

with respect to the cookie in question

is the...

- The frosting?

- Exactly. Exactly.

Just because the frosting is my specialty

doesn't mean that I can't do more.

I have many layers to me.

And they're not all vanilla, either.

I have chocolate in me.

I have a deep, dark chocolate...

I'm still hungry, Daddy.

- Darling, let Doc Martin and I finish.

- But what about the cookies?

Just a little while. OK?

I'm sick of angry, resentful...

fish...

who think that you owe them,

but who won't trust you for a second

to do anything for 'em.

- There are other fish in the sea.

- Yes, I know.

It's just... I wish I could find a fish

who wasn't afraid of my dark-chocolate layer.

And she'd have to love my cookie too.

You know, I think that my ex... cookie-maker

has turned me off to fish entirely.

I met a real piece of work this morning.

Tell me about her, Jack.

This fish was a fox.

She had her own cookie too.

But what a female dog.

She shoved her fish in my face...

In front of the cookie?

What's she doing with another fish anyway?

Is she AC/DC?

- What are you talkin' about?

- Fish... with other fish, in front of cookies.

Fish.

Fish fish.

I see.

- After you.

- No, after you.

- I insist.

- I insist more.

You can't make any noise in the office.

I have a really important meeting. OK?

- Don't touch that.

- It's empty.

Sammy, I'm really late and I don't

need you spilling anything right now.

- Please don't do that now.

- Why not?

Because I want you

to practice being super-quiet.

OK. Now stay next to me.

Here's your dinosaur.

- You're kidding.

- Please don't give me a hard time, Evelyn.

- I'm also 20 minutes late.

- 25 minutes late.

Mr Leland, as you might expect,

is displeased.

- What are those?

- The Haskell blueprints.

- Rob Wilding got them in ahead of schedule.

- He did?

Why would you bring a child here?

Remember when Sally brought her kid here

with the poison sumac?

Mr Leland just smelled the calamine lotion

and had to leave.

He does not have poison anything. He's not

even sick. He just missed his field trip.

- I don't think so.

- Five minutes. Please?

And I would be doing this because...?

Of our sense of solidarity.

We're both women, and this is

a tough office and a tough world...

- Five minutes.

- Thank you.

Evelyn, has Miss Parker come in yet?

- Miss Parker, you're late.

- Yes, I know. I'm sorry, sir.

- You're late.

- Let me go get the model. I'll be right in.

Sammy!

Oh my God.

Let me look at it.

Oh my God.

Evelyn, would you ask

Miss Parker to come in, please?

No.

She'll be right in.

Put this in the back room for me, please.

Go, go, go.

You! Get behind the desk and stay there!

I'm sorry, sir. I forgot. The model

is still in the model shop downtown.

I'm heading there right now to...

I went by there this morning to pick it up

for this meeting, but the shop was locked.

But I promise you, you are going to

love the model, Mr Leland, sir,

and today at two the people from

Yates and Yates are going to love it too.

- I assume you're ready.

- Of course.

There's something I'd like to show you.

Evelyn, bring in the Haskell blueprint.

What an adorable little boy!

Also, check if my amoxicillin prescription

still has refills available.

- Mommy...

- That's a good idea. Let's go find your mom.

I'm very sorry, sir, but someone spilled

my coffee all over the Haskell blueprints.

Oh my God.

Do you know that every Thanksgiving

I catch strep throat?

Healthy children can give you

strep throat from other kids

without your even going near them.

My sister sets up a kids' table

in the next room, and I still get strep throat.

We're going to go find his mother, sir.

She must work in the law offices

across the hall.

I'm sure she does.

Excuse me.

- Hello?

- You a**hole!

- What?

- Get over here.

The mayor's called

a press conference at five o'clock.

While you were talkin' about pink panties,

your story was turning to sh*t!

You know, Miss Parker,

I don't need to remind you what the Yates

account would be worth to this firm.

- And, by extension, to you.

- No, sir.

Do you know what I think of

when I look at him?

- No.

- A carrier monkey.

He's not a carrier monkey, sir.

He looks like a healthy little...

I'll go find his mother.

Oh my God. What am I gonna do?

I'm really sorry, Mommy.

It's OK, sweetie. It's really not your fault.

It's Maggie's daddy's fault.

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