One for the Money Page #3

- Says she called him for help.

- Yeah, Morelli got to her apartment,

says Ziggy fired on him first.

He's claiming self-defense.

Trouble is, Carmen's not around

to corroborate.

Says there was another guy there.

Yeah, we can't find him either.

And there's zero evidence

Ziggy ever had a gun.

It looks bad.

Okay, this'll work.

Hookers, they always know something.

Can you spare a dime?

She looks like my parole officer.

I don't know. She's ain't coming...

- Hell.

- Here she comes.

No. Now don't go pretend

to be on the phone.

Answer your damn phone. Answer.

Yeah. Anyway, you'd see how fast the

laws would be changed if I was president.

If I was the president, I'd be like,

"This is some change you can believe in."

My mama's bipolar?

Look, you would want her to be bipolar

when she goes bipolar

all over your you-know-what.

- Excuse me.

- I'm on the phone.

- I'm looking for a girl.

- No. You need to keep it moving.

Yeah, we're strictly dickly,

but good luck, though.

No, no, I mean...

I'm looking for this girl.

Do you know her? Carmen Sanchez?

- Okay, bye.

- Goodbye. Bye.

Finally, somebody gives a sh*t

about Carmen.

I need to talk to her about Joe Morelli.

You want to talk about a cop?

Look where you're at.

It's important. I really

need to talk to him.

- Girl. He got you knocked up.

- No.

Well, I can't help you with the cop,

but you want to know sh*t about Carmen,

talk to the boyfriend.

Yeah! You better not be thinking about

asking her to go for a ride.

You ask me. This is my corner, son.

Who's her boyfriend?

Benito Ramirez. Stark Street Gym.

Just like that?

Giving out details to the white girl?

No, no, no. It's good.

I'm good. I promise. Trust me.

Thank you. This gym right here? Thank you.

What did you do that for?

The girl was blocking my sign.

Come on. Come on. Give it all you got, man.

When I fought, we used brass knuckles

and baseball bats,

not these padded gloves, you nancies.

Hey, Girl Scout, what happened?

You lose your troop?

Jimmy Alpha, proprietor.

Single, Libra. How can I be of help?

Stephanie Plum, recovery agent.

A bounty hunter, huh?

The quicker picker-upper.

Hey, Shawn! Shawn! One, one, elbow.

Come on, harder, harder.

I've seen harder hits

at a sweet 16 pillow fight.

Is there somewhere else

we could go to talk?

Yeah, sure.

Too much testosterone for you, Officer?

No. Not an officer. Not a cop.

So, Mr. Alpha, I'm going after a guy

named Joe Morelli.

Well, I don't know him. That's the truth.

Actually, Joe is not the

guy I'm looking for.

Yeah, but that's what you just said.

How can I help you if you're not

being honest with me?

- He killed a guy named Ziggy Kuleska.

- Ziggy Kuleska.

You know, when I first met him,

I didn't know which name

to make fun of first.

What a ridiculous name, huh?

What a dirt bag.

He tried to horn in on

one of my deals with a fighter.

- Benito Ramirez?

- Yeah, Benito.

I took in Benito when he was just a kid,

I gave him all my time, made sure

he ate right, gave him a place to crash.

Well, I'm looking for Benito's girlfriend,

Carmen Sanchez.

All right. First, you're looking for

Morelli, then you're looking for Benito,

and now you're looking for Carmen.

If you're trying to confuse me,

you're doing a great job of it.

Just pick one.

Carmen.

Look, can I be honest with you?

Sometimes I don't even know

what to do with Benito.

You know what I mean?

Look, I wish I could be more help to you,

but I gotta go.

You know, I'd drop this if I were you,

because these guys got a taste for violence,

which I personally don't condone,

but what are you gonna do?

You know what I mean?

Mr. Ramirez?

Get up.

- Who are you?

- I need to ask you a few questions.

Then you need to step into my office.

Does he need help?

My name is Stephanie Plum.

I'm a bond-recovery agent.

Pretty fancy title.

Wow! That's quite a grip.

Jimmy Alpha told me to talk to you.

You need me to beat the sh*t

out of somebody?

No. Thank you.

That's a very nice offer, though.

I'm trying to find Carmen Sanchez.

Then we have a lot to talk about. Let's go.

- Okay.

- What's your problem?

You know what? I'm supposed to

be meeting Sergeant Gazarra

down at the station,

so I'm just going to get going.

If you keep lying to me,

I'll cut you up and sell you for parts.

- You all right? You okay?

- Oh, God!

- What the hell were you doing?

- Looking for you.

Yeah, well, congratulations, you found me.

You also blew my cover.

You got to stop grabbing at me.

- Knock it off!

- Jesus Christ!

I am so close to blowing your head off

right now, you don't even know.

And who would blame me?

You shot an unarmed man, you skipped bail.

Why are you still moving?

'Cause I don't think you're gonna shoot me.

Think again, Morelli.

I don't have to.

You could've shot Ramirez back there,

but what did you do?

You hit him with your pocketbook.

I, on the other hand,

have not provoked you in any way.

As far as you're concerned,

I am always provoked.

All right, correction.

I have not provoked you recently, right?

Steph. Come on, will you?

Would you please not shoot me? It's me.

Would you please not shoot me?

Fine.

- Will you come into custody then?

- No.

- You're a lunatic.

- God damn it, Joe! You owe me.

I owe you? How do you figure?

I saved your ass back there.

Saved my ass? I was fine.

I had it handled.

The guy's been charged

with rape three times,

and all three times he walked,

because the vics disappear.

- Yes. So consider your ass saved.

- You're watching Ramirez? Why?

You kidding me?

I gave you my gun. Come on.

Give me something.

- I'll give you something.

- Give me something I can use.

All right, you got one question

because I feel sorry for you.

Hurry up, make it good.

Who's Carmen?

- She's my informant.

- And?

And, in exchange for information,

I protect her.

I need to know what happened.

I owe her that.

I think Ramirez made her disappear.

I had been watching from across the street

trying to get a read on it,

until you came along

and I had to blow the whole place up.

Here, don't monkey around with that.

That sweatshirt makes you look

like the Unabomber.

Yeah, what can I say? I'm a wanted man.

Sh*t!

Crap. Who broke my window?

Hey! Keep your voice down.

Hey, so I gave you one question

back there, right?

How come you didn't ask if I'm innocent?

That's for the jury, Joe

I'm just here to collect.

Catch me if you can, cupcake.

- Oh, I think I can.

- We'll see about that.

I'm 12 minutes late for dinner,

which means my mother is probably

listening for sirens.

- I'm starving.

- Great.

I made a ziti and a turkey

with pineapple upside-down cake,

your favorite.

Something's up.

What's Bernie Kuntz doing here?

Did you guys buy a new TV or something?

He told his mother

his biological clock is ticking.

Ma!

- Hey, Bernie.

- Hey, Steph. Long time, right?

Yeah. A couple of years, at least.

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