One Night Page #3

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or pretty much anywhere.

- I thought you were

backpacking across Europe.

- I lied, I'm stuck here.

- Why would you lie about that?

- What do you think

I'm doing this summer?

I'm working concessions

at the new Beverly,

that's what I'm doing.

That's the big secret.

- Do it.

- No.

- Do it.

- I don't even have a

change of clothes with me.

- Are you really that scared?

I mean, it's not even that deep.

- You know I can't swim.

- I'll save you if

you start to drown,

you know, I've done it before.

- Oh, Jesus Christ.

- I thought you quit that.

- I did.

- Does he know about this?

- Are we still doing that?

- Maybe he feels responsible.

- As far as vices go these days,

smoking is practically vintage.

He has worse.

- Hmm.

Like what?

- Pride, for one.

Oh, and selfishness.

Sometimes it gets

the best of him.

- And what would

he say about her?

- What do you think he'd say?

- Oh, I'm not even

gonna go there.

Because that's, I can't

even win with that question.

- Well, if you don't have

anything negative to say,

I'd be pleased to hear it.

- I just know not to engage.

- And I enjoy picking fights,

according to you.

- Yeah, I have something

that I want to say.

I know that I've let

you down in the past,

and I'd like to make

it up to you somehow.

- You only get one prom.

- You get as many proms

as you want.

Let's make tonight prom,

the real prom,

let's make the best f***ing

prom anyone's ever seen.

There's no reason

for you not to try.

- That's such a silly idea.

- But is it a bad one?

- How do you propose we do this?

- Let me think.

You trust me?

- I've done it before and

it only gets me into trouble.

- Then let's cause some trouble.

- What?

- Let's cause some

f***ing trouble.

You're it.

- Drew.

- You're supposed to chase me.

Chase me!

- Come on.

- Jesus Christ.

- You being here this summer

isn't such a bad thing.

- Don't you have somewhere

else that you can be?

I really don't need you here

trying to make me feel better.

Can I see that?

- It's complicated.

It doesn't have auto-focus

or anything like that.

- I can probably figure it out.

I just want to see it.

- Hey, don't break it.

Again.

The shutter's broken.

Hey!

Gimme my camera.

Gi...

I will...

Give it.

I'm not gonna...

Win.

- Well,

congratulations,

you've made me an outcast.

I'm on your level now.

- On my level.

Dissect that for me.

- You choose to be a misfit.

You enjoy sequestering

yourself in your tiny little

intellectual tower so that way

you can stare down

on us... peons.

- That's a choice word.

I liberated you from

those stuck-ups.

In 10 years, they're all

gonna be working as janitors

at our high school, all of them.

There were like 40 people

at that party.

- It'll be a really

clean high school.

What?

- Your nose is bleeding again.

- Here.

- Ow.

- There you go.

Ew...

- Why, thank you.

- Is that better?

It's fantastic.

Must have been in a frickin'

coma to have been dating Dave.

- Okay, Dave was

actually a nice guy.

- A nice guy,

that's your standard?

Nice, and prone to

extremely violent outbursts.

- Okay, I don't want to talk

to you about this right now.

And I'm not going to.

- Fine, don't.

- I won't.

Hi.

- Hi.

- Your nose looks funny.

- Shut up.

- You shut up.

- I have to go to the bathroom.

- Me too.

- Dave got all weird

about me being with Andy,

Andy called Dave an a**hole,

Dave punched him in the face.

I gasped, everyone gasped,

and then we got kicked

out of the party.

And now I'm here.

- I think he likes you.

- What?

No, me and him,

we're not dating.

You know what, I used

to be a lot like you.

Always convincing myself that

I didn't care when I did.

And I did care, but I

was constantly hiding it.

You know, there's a lot

of heartache in that.

- Would you do

anything different?

- I don't know,

it was unavoidable.

And the part that you

don't understand is that

you don't get to choose

to be hurt, you just are.

- I get that, I do.

So who's that guy out there?

- Yeah, it's useless,

I can't hear anything.

- Probably just

discussing the differences

between boys and men.

- Wait, how do you know what?

- I wasn't being serious.

Is that the girl that

you were telling me about?

She's cute.

- Why are you so fascinated

with my non-existent love life?

- Because you remind me of me

when I was growing up,

a little sh*t running around

like he knew everything

when he didn't know anything.

You're hilariously

bad at this, too,

so you need all the help

you can get, buddy.

- I don't need your help.

- I think you're right,

I think it does get better,

I just haven't

lived that long yet.

- If you could see yourself

in five or ten years,

you'd have a different outlook.

- You seem really

certain about my future,

which is kind of creepy.

- All I'm saying is that you

don't get to be so cynical.

Not yet at least.

- No one's gonna wait

around for you to figure out

how you feel about them.

Ever.

You don't have to like me

to know that I'm right,

but I'm right.

I don't even know if I like you.

- I don't know if

I like you, either.

- Let's go.

- How was girl talk, you gonna

fill me in on the secrets?

- I taught her how to

throw a right hook,

do you want me to show you?

- Keep your secrets

to yourself, I'm good.

- So where is this prom

that you were talking about,

huh, you really

need to step it up.

- It's here.

- Great, it's broken.

- Can you hurry up and

pick something already.

- You can't make an image,

there's no light

hitting the lens.

Without a working shutter,

this thing's just an

overpriced piece of junk.

- It's just a camera.

- It is not just a camera.

This is a relic of

how things used to be.

People used to have to stop

and look at their surroundings,

they had to give a sh*t.

Anyone can take

15 photos in a row.

What does that

say about the art?

- You're being

a little romantic.

- What's the alternative?

- The alternative is

being a cynic like me.

You don't get

disappointed by anything

because everything's

already disappointing.

- How old are you?

- Ninety.

It's been hard.

- Looks like a

great place for a wedding.

- If only people knew that

marriage is the start of a long,

brutal journey of tolerating

the person they're with.

- Speaking from experience?

- Maybe you'd fared better?

- No, I just have

lower expectations

as to how I stay happy.

- Congratulations on settling.

- No, I just, I expect

someone to wash dishes,

do the laundry, watch a

movie, and have sex with.

Semi-regularly.

At least that's what

most other guys think.

- It's a lot more than that.

- In reality, the day to day,

that's it.

But you want romance -

earth-shattering,

life-changing.

- It should be.

- And sometimes it is.

- And most times it's not.

- You want your royalty

on a white steed.

- I was royalty

in another universe.

- Should have just taken

his picture like he asked,

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