Open Season Page #2
Mr. Weenie, heel. Heel, Mr. Weenie.
Hot.
It's terrible but wonderful
at the same time.
It's like freedom in a cup.
Out of hand.
You know, I heard Boog got loose
last night...
...and he totally trashed the place.
- Really?
- That's what happened.
There's something wrong
going on here.
You? It walks like a man.
Hold still,
you two-legged latte drinker.
Look out!
Not again.
Boog will have you eating out
of his paw.
Get it?
"Paw," because he's a bear?
- So anyway...
- Oh, man.
Okay, relax, Boog.
You can do this.
- What the--?
- I gotta hide. I gotta hide.
What are you doing?
Get out of here. Hey.
He's right behind me.
I knew it.
That bear's corrupted my buck.
Hide me.
- All right, he's gone. Now get out.
- Good idea.
- Where you going?
- Behold, the mighty grizzly.
How cute, a donkey.
- You got me in enough trouble.
- Hey, I-- You saved my life.
That means
that you're responsible for me.
What? Stop messing up my life.
You needed to get out.
You should thank me.
- Thank you?
- You're welcome, buddy.
Stop calling me that. Now get out.
Need to hide. Need to hide.
Boog?
Oh, no, you don't.
You're leaving now.
- Out of the coat. Take it off.
- No. No!
- Take off the coat.
- No means no.
- He's eating the donkey.
- He's gonna eat us all.
You know he's still out there.
Eat you? He's not gonna--
Boog, what are you doing?
Put that animal down this instant.
- Hold still.
- No, I'm staying.
But my show!
Sit, Boog. You're getting a time-out.
Do you hear me?
I'm totally getting angry.
That guy wants to kill me.
No, wait.
- I chipped a hoof.
- Chipped a--?
You chipped a-- I'm gonna kill you.
He's harmless. Really.
Stay calm. Stay calm!
Out of my way. Move.
Show's over,
you four-legged freaks of nature.
Perfect.
Shaw. Drop that gun.
You're ruining my show.
Easy, now. Just line them up.
Two heads, one bullet.
Buttermilk biscuits.
Shaw, you're under arrest.
Shaw?
Gordy, I didn't know
what else to do. I--
It's time, Beth.
But what about hunting season?
Take him above the falls.
He'll be safe there.
Take him above the falls.
He'll be safe there.
You're gonna be...
You're gonna be fine.
I'm gonna miss you, big guy.
Pretty.
Where's home? It's gone.
Someone stole it.
Hey, could you keep it down?
You.
- No, I didn't do it.
- Take a good look, Elliot.
What do you see, Elliot?
Something's missing, Elliot.
What is it, Elliot? What is it?
Wait, don't tell me. I...
Timberline is missing!
- I was just gonna say that.
- My garage is missing.
Breakfast, lunch, and dinner
are missing.
My life is missing,
and it's all your fault.
What are you gonna do?
You're funny.
I thought, "Maybe," but then
I was like... and then--
This ain't happening.
It's some kind of mistake.
Think, Boog. She's mad,
but you can fix this.
All right, I'll go back
and I'll give her the face.
The face.
Gotta get back before
she forgets the face.
That'll clear it all up right there.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, the face.
Boog!
You can't just go wandering
around out here.
You don't know where you're going,
Boog!
I'm going home.
Wait. Boog.
I know where Timberline is.
- I can get you back.
- Thank you, but no thank you.
Quiet.
Timberline's gotta be
around here somewhere.
Well, that was quick.
Now, let's see.
Righty-tighty, lefty-loosey.
Boog, is that you?
Boog.
Okay, I gotta get the lay of the land.
Somehow...
...if I get up high enough, then...
All right.
I can do this.
No problem.
Lost your way to Sunday school, pal?
This is McSquizzy's turf.
Nobody messes with McSquizzy.
Because that's me.
- What?
- Touch a needle in this tree...
- ...and I'll give you such a doing!
- Yeah?
You and what army?
Oh, that army.
Mess not with the furrytail clan.
Defenders of the good,
crusaders of the righteous...
...guardians of the pine.
Keep your tree. I'll find another one.
Look! He's got a wee freakish twin
growing out of his back.
Oh, this one will work.
Hey. That was a warning, all right?
Try that again, and I'll be kicking
your furry brown bahookie!
- What?
- Hey, this is a different tree.
They're all my trees.
I suggest you turn round and head
right back from whence you came.
That's what I'm trying to do.
So just point me the way to town...
...and I'll be out of here.
That's it.
You're asking for a whooping.
Ready!
Fire!
Hey, Boog, look. No hands.
I think I'm getting a sunburn,
though.
Check it out.
All right, where's town?
Or what we would call this,
a moon burn.
Look, just give me the directions.
I really need to get back.
So sad.
- Where's Timberline?
- Okay. Okay. All right.
You got it good
in Timberline, right?
Coffee, Woo Hoo bars, safety.
- Yeah, so?
- And still, something is missing.
- There is?
- Yep. Me.
And I want in, Boog.
I'll take you to town...
...but when we get there,
we're partners.
Deal, partner?
What? Oh, no, no, no.
That ain't never
gonna happen. Never.
Don't you have a herd
to get back to?
What--? My herd?
They-- My herd will understand.
These guys are my--
They're my buddies.
- They-- They want the best for me.
- Forget it.
Oh, well.
Better start moving, then.
Because open season starts
in a few days.
Maybe one of those hunters
can give you a ride back...
...on the hood of their truck.
Hunters. Dang.
- Okay, okay.
- So we have a deal, then?
Okay, let me hear you say it.
- Partners?
- You're disgusting.
- What was that?
- I...
- Sorry, can't hear you.
- I said, I guess...
...we can be partners.
Partners?
Partners.
Okey-dokey, this way!
Move it or lose it!
You know, we should have
a secret handshake...
...and like nicknames and stuff.
Like, cool nicknames, though.
I'll call you Boogster...
...and then you can call me
The Incredible Mister E.
Isn't that great?
I came up with that myself.
I made that up. You know,
this is gonna be awesome.
It's just you and me.
Hey, who's the lady in the shorts?
I hope I'm not too late.
They've been out here all night.
A bear...
...and a deer, working together.
How far does this conspiracy go?
What other animals are involved?
God bless America!
I hope the bald eagle hasn't turned.
No, no, no.
Maybe they're right.
Maybe... Maybe old Shaw is crazy.
Yeah, maybe.
Isn't it peaceful out here, Bob?
You're right, Bob. Let's not spoil
the beauty of this moment...
...with idle chatter.
Some people can just jibber-jabber
till the cows come home.
What does that mean, Bob?
"Till the cows come home."
Where have the cows been?
Okay, Forest 101.
These big wood stick things
are called trees.
The big rocks are called mountains,
and the little rocks are their babies.
Altitude.
No jelly arm, no jelly arm. Come on.
- Elliot!
- Boogster, it's...
How many times must I say it?
I am the Incredible Mister E.
Elliot, please.
Look, if you don't use
the code names...
...how am I supposed to know that
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"Open Season" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 19 Dec. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/open_season_15316>.
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