Open Season Page #3

it's really you that I'm talking to?

Yeah, yeah. Okay, I got it.

Nice and easy.

Just rip it off fast, like a Band-Aid.

Hold still, okay?

Just be calm.

This might pinch a little.

- Get it over with.

- You may wanna cover your ears.

Cover my--?

Okay, scamper on back

to the woods, little buddy.

Buddy.

Okay, ladies, this dam

ain't gonna build itself!

Lift that birch.

Swing those pines over here.

Come on. Move it!

Yo, O'Toole!

- Yeah, boss?

- I want you to cantilever that cedar...

...on the bias down by the north end,

you got that?

Put a twig in the hole.

Rookie.

Take five for lunch!

- What do you got?

- Wood.

- What do you got?

- Wood.

You wanna trade?

Hey, hey, guys. Check it out.

There goes the largest carnivore

in North America.

- The mighty grizzly.

- And he's a good dancer.

We're gonna be in a show.

Come here!

Hey, that's my good antler.

Listen, simple. We are not "we."

It's just me.

And we ain't doing no show.

- Diva.

- What?

I understand what's going on here.

You're a little crabby

because you're hungry.

I, I...

I think yes.

I'm starving!

- Here, try this.

- I can't eat that.

Picky, picky, picky.

Well, what do bears eat?

Fish. Bears eat fish.

All right, fishies, give it up for Boog!

Hey, Incredible Mister E.

Yes, Boogster?

- I gotta go.

- Well, go.

No, I need a toilet.

You know, the think tank.

The log cabin, the johnny

on the spot, the oval office.

- There's none of those things out here.

- Well, what do you do?

You know...

...I can't remember. But listen.

Don't look now, but I see a little bush

with your name written all over it.

A bush? Are you serious?

Go on. It's just like riding a bicycle.

Only you're crapping on it.

Show us your "grr" face, nature boy.

Hey. What are you doing here?

Get out of here.

I'm working here. Now, go.

All right, all right,

you've had your fun.

Nothing to see here.

Let the bear do his thing.

You believe those guys?

Finished?

I bet my nuts

that big hairy choob can't do it.

- I'll take a piece of that action.

- What is wrong with you animals?

Perhaps some roughage, buddy?

Buddy.

Perhaps some privacy.

- What are doing on my house?

- This is your house?

Oh, I-- I didn't know...

- It would be an improvement.

- What did you just say, Rosie?

Nothing. Why you gotta

be so sensitive?

- Boogster, what's the deal?

- You watch your mouth...

...or you'll get yourself in trouble.

You're just jealous

because you ain't got a man.

I don't know.

Some kind of chick fight.

Elliot, what do I do?

Well, that's easy.

You just gotta mark your territory.

- Show them who's boss.

- All right, ladies.

I'm laying down the law.

Unless, of course, they're skunks.

Disgusting.

Giselle.

Ridiculous.

The woods is no place for a bear.

Ducks? Okay.

Look, don't move.

Oh, yeah. Sprucing up.

Quick. You guys gotta help me.

Don't mind Deni, monsieur.

He's a bit nervous.

Never been quite...

...right since the great migration.

There were thousands of us

when we started in the big V's.

Then... Then it happened.

What happened?

What happened?

Open season happened.

Just me and Deni were left.

How can you make a V

with only two duck, you ask, eh?

Well, you cannot, monsieur.

It's a tragedy!

Yeah, right, whatever.

But check this out.

I'm looking for town.

Okay? Now, could one of you guys

fly up there...

- ...and show me the way?

- Fly? Fly?

Quiet. They'll hear you.

Giselle.

- Elliot?

- Hey, gorgeous.

- How you doing?

- Elliot, where have you been?

Oh, you know. Big city.

Kind of a road trip. Saw the sights,

hit the buffet, took in a show.

Things are looking up, Giselle.

Really? I heard

you got hit by a truck.

That-- Rumor.

You better get out of here.

Remember what happened...

- ...last time you talked to me?

- Is Ian around?

How long have you had that tic?

I think it's getting worse.

Oh, crud.

Hello, "Smelliot."

I called him Smelliot.

Herd! Circle formation!

You pinheads. That's an oval.

More circle-y!

You got a lot of nerve

coming back here.

- Why, thank you.

- That was not a compliment, maggot!

Well, he was just going.

Right, Elliot?

Yeah, Ian.

I had to stop by and say hello

to some of my old pals.

Bob, Kevin. Jurgen,

how's the knee?

I told you to leave the herd

and never, ever, ever...

- Never?

- Never, ever, ever come back.

Back?

I'm not-- I'm not back.

Me and my best buddy

are heading to town.

Yeah. I sure am gonna miss

you guys.

Off the upholstery!

What now?

So as I was saying,

never, ever, ever--

A bear! Bear. Bear. A bear.

Elliot, are you all right?

Buttermilk biscuit.

Hey, Ian. Get a load of this.

Hey, cut it out.

Oh, I've heard of you.

You're that bear that got

his butt thumped by a squirrel.

It was-- There was 20 of them.

And they had nuts.

Don't listen to him, Boog.

Boog? What is that short for?

- Booger?

- Booger!

- Listen, you!

- I'm all ears.

- Well...

- Boog, let's go.

You two are perfect for each other.

You're a loser and you're a loser-er.

Herd, let's bound!

Hey, Elliot.

I think you lost something.

Maybe it'll grow back. Bye, Elliot.

Yeah, see you.

See you later, backpack boy!

That's right, fool. You better run.

Keep on prancing,

you panty-waisted cow.

Yeah. One more word,

and I was gonna rack him.

- That's right.

- I was waiting for it.

He's scared. He's scared.

- Look at him run. Look at him run.

- Yeah, I know it.

Look at him go.

Are you not gonna buy him a drink

before you kiss him?

You big jessie.

On your bikes,

you big numpties.

That was Ian's girl

you was trying to talk to, huh?

You dog.

Ian's right. I'm a loser.

- No, you're not a loser.

- Yes, I am.

- No, you're not.

- Yes.

Trust me. You know the day I met you,

Ian kicked me out of the herd.

I lost my antler, I got run over

and tied to the hood of a truck.

What do you call that?

A loser. But check this out.

Behold, the mighty grizzly.

I look like a bear, I talk like a bear.

But I can't fish, I can't climb a tree,

I can't even go in the woods.

That's nothing. Half doe.

Half buck. I'm a duck.

Hey, I ride a unicycle for crackers!

- I have a glass eye.

- I can't snap.

- I thought "log" was a color.

- I can't see my feet.

I killed a man.

Well, at least you've got a home.

Home. Yeah.

I sure hope so.

- Crimenently! Was that your neck?

- No.

My fishy crackers.

Oh, she still loves me.

Thank you, Beth.

I'm coming home.

Try one, partner. Yeah.

Woo Hoo bars they ain't,

but they take you back.

You know? Remind you of home.

Sweet, salty home.

Oh, yeah. To be back

in my own soft bed.

Eight square meals a day,

plus snacks.

Beth tucking me in every night.

It's like heaven to me.

You know,

when we get back home tomorrow...

...I'm gonna make things right

with Beth.

And maybe, just maybe...

...we'll find a place

for you in the garage with me.

Sweet! Oh, yeah. I'm in the garage.

Who's staying in the garage?

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