Open Season Page #5

I don't need the herd

and I don't need you.

So leave me alone.

Ain't gonna be able to do it.

You see, I already saved you once.

That makes me responsible for you.

I saw that. Come on.

Let me hear you say it. Partners.

- No.

- What was that?

- I guess we can be partners.

- Sorry, I can't hear you.

I said I guess we can be partners.

- Partners!

- Partners!

Okey-dokey. This way.

- This way.

- Right. Maybe you better lead.

Yeah. Let's get back to the garage,

where it's safe.

- Safe?

- Safe?

Hey, Boog. How many animals

can fit in the garage?

How many--?

Hello, Boog.

So where you all headed?

- To the safe place.

- This land of garage.

- With buddy.

- Come on. You owe us, Tiny.

- Yeah!

- Yeah! That's right!

Yeah, I'm sorry about the dam.

And how I messed you all up,

you know. My bad.

So you're taking us with you,

right, Booger?

Please? Please.

Look at me. I'm too pretty to die!

Well, maybe...

No! No! No!

You ain't leaving without us.

I didn't mean to call you Booger.

- Can we take Giselle?

- Wait! Let me think.

Hunters.

Dang. Nobody's going home tonight.

There's so many of them.

That's it, then.

No more me.

I guess I will be mounted on a wall.

Oh, no, you won't.

Now, when I'm a bearskin rug,

they can walk all over me.

But until that happens,

I ain't going out without a fight.

- What?

- Fight?

- The F word?

- That's right.

One thing you all have taught me...

...the woods is a messed-up,

dangerous place.

And y'all are crazy. You've been

kicking my butt for the last two days.

Yeah, I kind of did.

- I didn't.

- Sorry.

So let's do to them

what you've been doing to me.

Now, I say we give our guests

the full outdoor experience.

Yeah!

Hey! Is this a private fight

or can anybody join?

Because McSquizzy wants in.

Good. Because we'll need your nuts.

- And your acorns too.

- What's the plan, Boog?

Oh, we gonna run

those yahoos back to town.

Yeah, baby. When we get through

with them, they won't ever come back.

So you think you're so tough, huh?

Well, you know what I think?

I think you're still

just a mama's bear.

You guard the fort, Mr. Weenie.

Mama's gonna take a dip.

That's good.

Mama's getting kind of gamey.

Come on, Bob. There's gonna be

a full moon out tonight.

- Sorry.

- Come on. Let's go.

Boog?

Oh, yeah.

- Maria, let go.

- I'll carry it.

It's empty.

Ladies.

Heave-ho, heave-ho.

This is gonna be great.

You. We gonna need more ducks.

Elliot, is that chocolate on your face?

No.

- It's a pet.

- He's gonna blow our cover.

I've been living a lie!

Please, take me with you.

Hey, Boog. You're not still mad

about that backpack thing, are you?

Oh, no. I never hold a grudge.

I just let them go.

What was that?

It's the signal.

Okay, Deni. Let's round them up!

All right, ladies. Let her rip!

- Gas mask.

- Got it!

My pants!

Good job, Reilly. All right.

Time to run

these guys back to town.

Are you ready for this?

- This is awkward.

- Yes. Yes, it is.

- Can I?

- Go for it, Smelliot.

Charge!

Holy stampede! It's a stampede!

All right. Show me your "grr" face!

Now, let's kick

some hunter bahookie!

Bob, we've been robbed!

And they took Mr. Weenie!

Come on, mate!

Move them pudgy wee legs!

I feel so alive!

Drop antlers!

Bless me.

No! No!

How you doing, partner?

Boog, this is great.

Let's do this every year.

No, no! Get that bill away from me.

Fire!

Guys, let's get out of here!

Sheriff! Sheriff!

The animals are going wild,

and the bear is their leader!

It's for you.

Gordy, I'm bringing him home.

Come on, men!

They're just animals.

Elliot, catch.

Got it.

Present arms!

Yeah!

Fire!

Oh, my God!

Back to the trucks!

Boog, it's working.

Yeah. Look at them run.

- Send in Mr. Happy!

- Who?

Go, go, go!

Adieu!

Mr. Happy didn't go off.

Hey, whoa. We're just supposed

to run them into town.

Well, it's time for them

to start running, isn't it?

Hey, Earl, ain't that your truck?

That's a bummer.

That's right. Keep running.

Sweet.

Freedom!

Hello, Goldilocks.

What?

Bull's-eye!

Quick! We need more ammo.

Elliot! Elliot, stop helping me.

- Keep it coming.

- Okay. Let's see how you like it.

A pillow? Oh, come on!

More! More!

All right.

Come on, mama's bear.

You can do better than that.

Let's see what you got.

Come on.

Boog!

Oh, yeah. Don't mess

with the Boogster. Fore!

All right, Lorraine.

Let's kiss this bear good night.

No! No! Stop!

Elliot?

Buddy?

Oh, Elliot.

You all right, Elliot?

I'm a little lightheaded.

Hey, Tiny. Nice show.

- Behold, the mighty grizzly.

- Boog, Boog, Boog.

- Let's get him!

- What? No!

- Stay away! No!

- Here you go.

Cannonball!

You know, Elliot,

this place ain't so bad.

Hold that thought. Oh, yeah.

Karate noises!

No.

- Beth?

- Boog?

Oh, Boog.

- What's he doing?

- Is he not gonna maul her?

No. She's his mom.

She's taking us home.

Every buddy?

I was so worried.

I'm bringing you back with me.

Come on. Let's go home.

Oh, no.

Come on, Boog. Let's go home.

Boog?

You are home.

I'm so proud of you.

So how are we both

gonna fit in the helicopter?

- She's coming back, right?

- Who?

The shorts lady. Boog?

- Hey, big guy.

- What's up, Tiny?

- What's up?

- You said that we--

- You're judging me?

- How y'all doing?

- Hey, Boog.

- Hi, Boog.

I know he's a duck.

But he treats me like a lady.

- But she's--

- Hey, buddy.

- Hey, find me some food.

- Come on. What is our pickup time?

Elliot, we're staying here.

This is our home.

These are our people.

This is where we reside.

What? Are you insane?

Where have you been

for the last two days?

This place is horrible. Horrible!

- Hey, guys.

- What's up, Ian?

Come on, Elliot. It ain't that bad.

She's at least gonna bring

some Woo Hoo bars, right?

It's just the two of us, Elliot.

Unless you plan

on going back to your herd.

What? And break up the team?

Bros before does.

Yeah. Bros before does.

Hello, Elliot.

Catch you later, Boog.

Hey! Get off my trees,

you bucktoothed sporran!

Feels like home, baby.

Hey, Boog!

- Rabbit fight!

- Oh, no, you didn't.

Oh, yeah? Well, eat rabbit.

Hey, buddy.

Bob! Bob!

A real live homo-sasquatchus.

Wait, wait. No. No. No!

Rate this script:2.0 / 1 vote