Orange Is the New Black Page #2

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KIRSTEN:

We’re artists now?

PIPER:

They’re artisanal bath products.

Just shut up. It’s all gonna to be

fine. We got into Barney’s, for

Christ sake! Be happy for that at

least.

KIRSTEN:

Rah rah. I wish I could

drink right now.

PIPER:

How ‘bout I drink enough for both

of us?

Piper takes a long pull on her drink.

KIRSTEN:

Am I allowed to cry? ‘Cause I was

before, and I kind of want to

again.

PIPER:

No. No. Seriously. No.

The guys now have much of the pig on a platter.

LARRY:

We’re ready! Everyone inside.

PIPER:

See? No time for crying. Need a

hoist?

Piper holds out a hand to Kirsten and hauls her up. They

head into the house.

PIPER (CONT’D)

And onto the last supper.

CUT TO:

ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK "Pilot" JENJI DRAFT 9.

INT. PIPER AND LARRY’S BROWNSTONE -BEDROOM -NIGHT

Piper and Larry in bed, her head nestled in his chest.

PIPER:

We have to do it.

LARRY:

I know.

PIPER:

We shouldn’t have eaten so much.

LARRY:

I know.

PIPER:

Did you take the Viagra?

LARRY:

About a half hour ago.

PIPER:

So that’s good.

He burps.

LARRY:

We really shouldn’t have eaten so

much.

She sits up.

PIPER:

Come on. We’ve gotta rally. You

need spank-bank material. Let’s

make some memories.

LARRY:

Well, since you put it that way...

And they begin to make with the loving. The kissing and the

touching, but then Piper pulls away.

PIPER:

Wait. I have to pee. I’ll be

right back.

LARRY:

Awww!

PIPER:

I know. I know. Sorry. I’ll be

right back.

ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK "Pilot" JENJI DRAFT 10.

Piper gets out of bed. She’s in sexy underwear.

LARRY:

You look beautiful.

PIPER:

Thanks.

CUT TO:

INT. BATHROOM -NIGHT

Piper sits on the toilet. She cries. And pees. But mostly

cries. She folds paper and wipes her eyes and wipes her

parts. She gets up and flushes. Looks at herself in the

mirror. Puts on a smile. Thatta girl. She exits to the

bedroom.

RESET TO:

INT. BEDROOM -NIGHT

She stands in the doorway and looks at Larry.

LARRY:

What?

PIPER:

You look beautiful too.

Larry holds up the covers.

LARRY:

Come on. Get in.

And she does and they’re back to kissing. And Larry runs his

hand over her face and he feels her tears. Larry pulls away.

LARRY (CONT’D)

Oh, Piper-PIPER

No. Just f*** me.

LARRY:

Piper.

PIPER:

Shut up. Please. Please.

LARRY:

Okay.

ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK "Pilot" JENJI DRAFT 11.

And she kisses him with hunger and sadness and need. And he

kisses her back. And they make love.

CUT TO:

INT. PIPER AND LARRY’S LIVING ROOM -MORNING

A compact but comfortable urban living room tastefully and

eclectically decorated. Well past Ikea, but not quite Elle

Decor. Piper sips a latte and stuffs papers into a manila

envelope. Larry sits on the edge of a chair, finishing a

croissant in a paper bag.

LARRY:

You want the scone?

PIPER:

Let’s bring it in the car.

Piper closes the envelope. She nuzzles her aged cat, Lady

Bunny, and gives her a kiss. She stands.

PIPER (CONT’D)

Okay. Lady Bunny’s med chart is in

the kitchen; and I scheduled her--

LARRY:

(finishing the sentence)

Next three vet visits. I know.

Please don’t be hyper-Piper right

now.

PIPER:

...You’re right. We should go.

LARRY:

Now?

PIPER:

Yes. Oh. Wait.

Piper pulls off her engagement ring and hands it to Larry.

PIPER (CONT'D)

I can’t bring it with me.

LARRY:

Right.

Larry puts it in his pocket.

PIPER:

What are you doing?

ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK "Pilot" JENJI DRAFT 12.

LARRY:

What?

PIPER:

Don’t put it in your pocket. Put

it away. Somewhere safe. You put

it in your pocket, it’ll end up in

the bottom of a washing machine.

LARRY:

So where should I put it, Piper?

PIPER:

Up your ass.

LARRY:

Consider it done.

PIPER:

I’m sorry.

LARRY:

I’m putting it in this drawer. And

here it shall remain, safe and

sound until you’re back. Or until

I’m short on rent money. Then I

may hock it. But I’ll try to get

it back before you’re out.

Larry opens a drawer and places the ring inside.

PIPER:

We should go.

LARRY:

Yup.

Piper takes one last look around. She grips her envelope and

heads for the door. Larry picks up a small cooler bag and

follows her. Off the door closing behind them.

CUT TO:

EXT. STANSBURY PRISON CAMP - DAY

We follow Piper and Larry’s Fiat through gates and up a hill

to a parking lot. Before them looms a hulking building with

a triple-layer razor-wire fence. A sign outside it reads-

“STANSBURY FEDERAL CORRECTIONS FACILITY”

They pull into a spot between two other cars. A white pickup

truck with police lights pulls up in front them. Piper

opens her window and leans out.

ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK "Pilot" JENJI DRAFT 13.

OFFICER WHITE TRUCK GUY

There’s no visiting today.

PIPER:

I’m here to surrender.

OFFICER WHITE TRUCK GUY

Oh. All right then.

He pulls away.

RESET TO:

INT. FIAT

PIPER:

Did he look surprised to you? When

I said I was here to surrender?

Did he look surprised, like, ‘what

the hell is she doing here?’

LARRY:

I couldn’t see his face.

PIPER:

I think he was surprised.

Piper pulls down the visor and flips up the mirror.

PIPER (CONT’D)

I look like sh*t. My eyes are all

puffy.

LARRY:

You’re worried about how you look?

PIPER:

They’re gonna know I was crying.

It’s a sign of weakness. You can’t

show weakness. That’s what all

those books from Amazon said.

LARRY:

Oh, sweetie-

PIPER:

No. Don’t call me sweetie. I’m

gonna start crying again. And then

you’ll cry and I’ll cry more and

it’s all bad. Come on. Let’s do

this.

Piper resolutely opens her door... smack into the car next to

her.

ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK "Pilot" JENJI DRAFT 14.

PIPER (CONT’D)

Sh*t. Oh sh*t.

She gets out and shuts her door and assesses the damage she’s

done.

PIPER (CONT'D)

Okay, it’s fine. It’s fine, right?

Larry comes around and joins her.

LARRY:

There’s a little paint... dent.

Larry scratches at it with his fingernail.

LARRY (CONT’D)

It’s okay. I think it’s okay.

Should we leave a note?

PIPER:

We should just... go in.

LARRY:

Yeah?

PIPER:

Yes.

And they scurry off toward the looming, scary building,

suddenly in a rush.

CUT TO:

EXT. WATERFALL, KRAKATOA - FLASHBACK - BEAUTIFUL DAY

A TEN YEARS YOUNGER PIPER in a bikini stands on a small,

slippery rock at the top of a towering waterfall. Thirty

five feet below is a river pool of indiscernible depth.

Another woman in a bikini, a few years older than Piper, ALEX

VAUSE, is on a rock right next to her, and a native guide,

GUIDE MAN, stand behind them. They yell to be heard above

the roar of the falls.

PIPER:

Have you seen people jump from here

before??

GUIDE MAN:

Oh yes, Miss.

PIPER:

Have you ever jumped?

ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK "Pilot" JENJI DRAFT 15.

GUIDE MAN:

Oh no, Miss.

ALEX:

(to Piper)

C’mon! A dare is a dare. You

gotta do it.

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