Orange Is the New Black Page #4

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SCARY C.O.

You ready?

PIPER:

Yeah.

SCARY C.O.

Well, come on.

CUT TO:

INT. STORAGE-TYPE ROOM - LATER

Scary C.O. paws through a shelf of clothing. She hands Piper

some granny panties, a cheap nylon bullet bra, a pair of

elastic-waist khaki pants, a khaki top, like hospital scrubs,

and tube socks.

SCARY C.O.

What size shoe are you?

PIPER:

Nine. Nine and a half.

Scary C.O. hands her some Chinatown-type blue canvas

slippers.

PIPER (CONT’D)

These are kinda like Toms.

SCARY C.O.

What are Toms?

PIPER:

They’re shoes. When you buy a

pair, the company sends another

pair to a child in need. They come

in lots of colors and-

SCARY C.O.

How nice. Strip.

PIPER:

Excuse me?

CUT TO:

INT. FANCY APARTMENT - FLASHBACK - NORTHHAMPTON

Piper, with a feather boa, a hat, in the middle of a sexy

striptease. Prince’s CREAM plays in the background.

ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK "Pilot" JENJI DRAFT 23.

PRINCE:

You got the horn so why don’t you

blow it/You are filthy cute and

baby you know it.

Alex sits on a plush bed with lots of pillows and really good

sheets.

ALEX:

Whoooo! Nice! Show me what you

got, girl.

Piper gets down to bra and panties, stockings and garters.

ALEX (CONT’D)

Holy sh*t. Get over here.

Piper hops onto the bed. Crawls across like a cat.

PIPER:

You gonna miss me?

ALEX:

Yes. Too much. Come with me.

Piper stops crawling.

PIPER:

What?

ALEX:

Come to Bali. Come with me. We’ll

have fun. I mean it. I’ll buy you

a plane ticket.

Piper picks up a remote and clicks off the music.

PIPER:

Are you serious?

ALEX:

Yes. Come with me. Quit your job

and come with me.

PIPER:

I have to give notice.

ALEX:

You’re a f***ing waitress. You

don’t need to give notice.

PIPER:

Will I get in trouble?

ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK "Pilot" JENJI DRAFT 24.

ALEX:

I hope so.

PIPER:

You know what I mean.

ALEX:

You don’t have to do anything.

You’re just there to keep me

company. Come on, baby. I want

you to come.

She caresses Piper.

ALEX (CONT’D)

And I want you to come.

PIPER:

Oh.

ALEX:

Yes? Is that a yes?

PIPER:

Yes. Yes.

Touch, caress, lick...

SCARY C.O. (O.S. PRE-LAP)

Open your mouth, stick out your

tongue.

CUT TO:

INT. STANSBURY, STORAGE-TYPE ROOM - DAY

Piper, completely naked, does as she’s told.

SCARY C.O.

Hold up your arms.

Piper complies; Scary C.O. checks under her arms.

SCARY C.O. (CONT’D)

Turn around, squat...

Piper follows instructions, humiliated...

FEMALE GUARD:

Spread your cheeks and cough...

Off Piper’s pained expression as she complies.

ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK "Pilot" JENJI DRAFT 25.

GAY PORN STAR (O.S. PRE-LAP)

Head up. Look at the lens.

CUT TO:

INT. STANSBURY PROCESSING AREA - SHORT TIME LATER

Another C.O., a man who looks an awful lot like the cop from

the Village People, who Piper calls GAY PORN STAR in the

book, stands behind the camera. He’s an a**hole.

Piper, now in her KHAKI SCRUBS, tries to look tough.

GAY PORN STAR:

Wait a sec. Sh*t. Flynn? It’s

not working.

Another male C.O., FLYNN, not an a**hole, very post-military

looking, short cropped hair, walks over to try to help.

Piper relaxes her face.

FLYNN:

You turn it on?

GAY PORN STAR:

Yes, I turned it on.

FLYNN:

Wait. I think I got it.

(to Piper)

Ready?

PIPER:

Yes.

FLYNN:

Wait. No.

Tough face goes away again.

GAY PORN STAR:

What’s this button?

FLYNN:

No. Don’t touch that.

PIPER:

There’s a cord there. Does that

need to be connected to something?

GAY PORN STAR:

Just shut up and stand there.

Flynn plugs in the cord.

ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK "Pilot" JENJI DRAFT 26.

FLYNN:

She’s right.

Gay Pornstar pushes a button. There’s a flash.

GAY PORN STAR:

Got it.

PIPER:

Wait, I wasn’t ready.

GAY PORN STAR:

Tough sh*t.

CUT TO:

CLOSE ON:

A Red ID card with a bar code and the legend, “U.S.

Department of Justice Federal Bureau of Prisons-INMATE.” And

a very unflattering photo of glaring Piper, and the numerals:

11187-424.

PULL OUT to Piper, the card clipped to her khaki shirt. One

sleeve is rolled up and a round, FILIPINO MEDIC is holding

her arm.

FILIPINO MEDIC:

This is a TB test.

He runs his hand up her arm.

FILIPINO MEDIC (CONT’D)

Nice veins. No track marks!

PIPER:

Thanks.

FILIPINO MEDIC:

Tattoos?

PIPER:

Oh. Yes.

Piper lifts up her hair and reveals a fish tattooed on her

neck.

FILIPINO MEDIC:

Fish. You like fish?

PIPER:

It’s a fish I saw on a scuba diving

trip. I thought it was beautiful.

ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK "Pilot" JENJI DRAFT 27.

FILIPINO MEDIC:

I don’t like fish. I like pork.

Chicken. But it’s a pretty fish.

PIPER:

Thanks.

CUT TO:

INT. FANCY HOTEL ROOM - FLASHBACK

Piper stands in suede heels, black silk pants, an expensive

blouse and jacket. Her hair is cut short. Alex is applying

make-up to her fish tattoo.

PIPER:

It’s gonna rub off when I sweat.

ALEX:

No, it won’t. It’s waterproof.

Alex sprays something on it.

ALEX (CONT’D)

When it’s dry, you’re good to go.

PIPER:

How do I get it off?

ALEX:

Acetone.

PIPER:

Great. Alex, I don’t know-

ALEX:

Shhh.

Alex has come around behind Piper. She gets right up to her

neck and blows on it gently. She whispers.

ALEX (CONT'D)

You are a nice blonde lady, aren’t

you? A proper young lady. Just

picking up her Tumi bag in the

baggage claim before heading off to

her mid-range hotel and going over

her schedule of museum visits and

fancy dinners. It’s all fine.

It’s all good. And I will meet you

in Brussels and everything will go

perfectly, baby. I promise. It’s

all going to be okay...

ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK "Pilot" JENJI DRAFT 28.

MR. BUTORSKY (O.S. PRE-LAP)

Are you okay?

CUT TO:

INT. BUTORSKY’S OFFICE -DAY

Piper sits across from MR. BUTORSKY, a compact, fiftyish,

persnickety man, leaning back in his chair. There’s a sign

on his desk that reads, Carl Butorsky, MSW. He has Piper’s

paperwork spread out on the desk in front of him. He’s done

this a million times. Piper looks up.

PIPER:

What?

MR. BUTORSKY

How are you doing?

PIPER:

Fine. I guess.

MR. BUTORSKY

Really?

PIPER:

Really? No.

MR. BUTORSKY

You’ll be fine.

PIPER:

Okay.

MR. BUTORSKY

I am Mr. Butorsky. Pronounced Boo-

Torsky. I’ll be your counselor.

PIPER:

Boo-torsky.

Butorsky rifles through Piper’s papers.

MR. BUTORSKY

I’ve been reading your file.

What’s PiKi?

PIPER:

Piper and Kirsten. It’s a bath

product line I started with my

friend. We’re in Barney’s.

MR. BUTORSKY

Barney’s?

ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK "Pilot" JENJI DRAFT 29.

PIPER:

It’s a store.

Butorsky flips through some more.

BUTORSKY:

Pretty big case. Criminal

conspiracy.

PIPER:

That’s how they charged me. I

carried a suitcase of money. Drug

money. Once. Ten years ago.

MR. BUTORSKY

What’s the statute of limitations

on that?

PIPER:

Twelve years.

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