Orange Is the New Black Page #9

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Piper closes the door. She sits across from him. He turns

his phone around to her.

COUNSELOR TORELLA (CONT’D)

Dial nine to get out.

Piper dials. Toricella goes back to his Pinterest.

CUT TO:

SPLIT SCREEN OR BACK AND FORTH:

INT. COUNSELORS’ OFFICE/INT. PIPER AND LARRY’S APARTMENT NIGHT

Ring. Ring. Larry sits on the couch with his father, HOWARD

BLOOM. The game is on. His mother, AIMEE KANTER-BLOOM, is

clearing Chinese food containers off the coffee table.

Larry’s phone sits on the dining room table and Aimee answers

it.

AIMEE:

Hello, Larry’s phone.

PIPER:

Aimee?

AIMEE:

Piper!

Larry jumps up immediately from the couch.

LARRY:

Give me the phone.

AIMEE:

One second. Don’t I get to say

hello?

PIPER:

Aimee, I only have two minutes to

talk.

AIMEE:

Are you okay? What’s it like in

there? Howard and I brought

Chinese. Larry’s so upset.

HOWARD:

Aimee, let him talk.

ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK "Pilot" JENJI DRAFT 56.

LARRY:

Mom. Give me the phone.

PIPER:

Aimee, please let me speak to

Larry.

AIMEE:

You know, I read that when Martha

Stewart was in prison, she foraged

for dandelions.

Larry forcibly takes the phone from his mother.

AIMEE (CONT’D)

I was talking!

LARRY:

Piper?

PIPER:

I only have a minute now. I’m

calling from the counselor’s

office.

LARRY:

Are you okay? What’s going on?

PIPER:

I love you so much.

LARRY:

I love you too. Are you okay?

PIPER:

I’m wearing granny panties. I’ve

only spoken to white people.

LARRY:

Are you joining the Aryan nation?

PIPER:

I don’t know. There’s a nun here.

And I’m not allowed to sleep in the

bed. Only on top of it.

LARRY:

That’s weird.

PIPER:

Right? But that’s how they do it.

And they gave me little bars of

hotel soap but no shampoo, but I

think I can borrow some.

(MORE)

ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK "Pilot" JENJI DRAFT 57.

PIPER (CONT'D)

From other white people. I love

you so much. One of my roommates

had a massive heart attack when she

got here.

LARRY:

You’re not allowed to have a heart

attack.

PIPER:

What did you have for dinner?

LARRY:

My folks brought from The Palace.

PIPER:

Did they get the peppercorn

chicken?

LARRY:

They don’t like spicy.

PIPER:

Dinner was scary liver and I

insulted the chef and you can’t eat

the pudding because it’s been to

Desert Storm.

LARRY:

Piper, you can’t lose your sh*t. I

mean it. Please, baby. Tell me

you’re keeping it together. Tell

me you’re okay.

TORELLA:

Wrap it up, Chapman.

PIPER:

I’m Chapman here. I’m 11187-424.

LARRY:

You’re my Pippy, and I love you and

this is temporary.

PIPER:

That’s what Yoga Janet said. It’s

only been one day. I can’t-

LARRY:

You can. You so can. You are so

strong and so amazing and so tough.

And you love adventure, babe.

(MORE)

ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK "Pilot" JENJI DRAFT 58.

LARRY (CONT'D)

That’s what got you in there, and

that’s what’s gonna get you through

there. It’s all a big adventure

with liver, and Yoga Janet, and

racism--

PIPER:

You can come on Friday. Please

come on Friday. Tell my mother to

come Saturday and don’t tell her

you’re coming Friday, okay?

LARRY:

Of course. I’m coming. Okay? Two

sleeps. On top of your bed. And

then I’ll be there.

TORELLA:

We’re coming up on lights out. Say

goodbye.

PIPER:

I have to go.

LARRY:

No crying.

PIPER:

I’m not crying.

She’s crying a little.

LARRY:

I love you. I’ll see you Friday.

Be brave. Don’t let anyone into

your granny panties. I love you.

PIPER:

I love you.

Torella presses the hang up button. Piper looks at him

accusingly.

TORELLA:

I think the words you’re looking

for are, “thank you.”

PIPER:

Thank you.

TORELLA:

Your head’s not here yet. It’ll

catch up soon. Don’t worry.

(MORE)

ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK "Pilot" JENJI DRAFT 59.

TORELLA (CONT'D)

In the meantime, try to get some

sleep. Orientation is tomorrow at

eight AM. Good night, Chapman.

PIPER:

Good night.

She turns to go.

TORELLA:

Hey, Chapman?

Torella opens a drawer. Pulls out a hotel-sized bottle of

shampoo. Tosses it to her. She catches it. Looks at him

gratefully.

TORELLA (CONT’D)

Say thank you again.

PIPER:

Thank you.

TORELLA:

Close the door behind you.

Piper exits. Closes the door. Torella opens his pants.

Takes a small bottle of lotion out of his drawer. As he

starts to masturbate...

CUT TO:

INT. ROOM SIX - MORNING - DAY 2

Piper is rocking with the same rhythm as Torella’s pud

pounding, but it’s because Anita is trying to nudge her

awake. The bed is full of tissue wads. Her eyes are

swollen.

ANITA:

Chapman. Hey Chapman. Rise and

shine.

PIPER:

What?

ANITA:

If you want time to shower and eat,

you gotta get up. Ugh. Look at

your eyes. You should put some

cold water on them.

PIPER:

Oh. Thanks.

ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK "Pilot" JENJI DRAFT 60.

ANITA:

Take a nice shower. Get dressed.

You’ll start to feel normal soon

enough. You got flip flops?

PIPER:

No.

ANITA:

Oh, honey. There’s wicked fungus

in the showers.

PIPER:

Oh. Well...

Piper looks over and sees the huge stack of Maxi-pads on one

of the lockers.

CUT TO:

INT. ROOM BLOCK BATHROOMS - MORNING

We hear Delicious singing “Tell Me Something Good,” in the

background. Piper is wrapped in her towel having just

showered, carrying her small bar soap and hotel shampoo in

her baggie. Splosh splosh splosh as she walks along in her

wet maxi-pads. It’s good to be clean. New day.

She walks past the line of showers and glances over to see a

curtain that’s not as ratty as the others, but still not

complete so that Nina and Rosemarie are revealed in the space

where the curtain ends and the wall begins. Nina’s arm is

halfway up Rosemarie’s vagina. It’s intense. Piper stares

for a beat, then splosh splosh sploshes away quickly.

Piper gets to the toilet area. Someone is ranting in Spanish

in one of the stalls.

CRAZY BATHROOM LADY (O.S.)

No, no, no. Estas el diablo! El

diablo del infierno!

Piper looks under the stall, only one set of feet.

CRAZY BATHROOM LADY (O.S.)(CONT’D)

Me estas haciendo loco! You’re

making me crazy! Silencio, Diablo!

Piper stands back up. The toilet flushes. Flushes again.

Piper backs up. Splosh.

Suddenly, the stall door swings open and a wild-haired,

Dominican CRAZY BATHROOM LADY, IMELDA FLORES, comes out. She

sees Piper.

ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK "Pilot" JENJI DRAFT 61.

IMELDA:

Boo!

Piper super fast sploshes out of the bathroom.

CUT TO:

INT. DINING HALL - MORNING

Piper stands in the feed line with her tray. Next to her

stands Anita.

ANITA:

You’ll have a nice breakfast.

Everyone gets a piece of fruit at

breakfast. I’m telling you. It’ll

all start to feel normal soon.

Really. Are you hungry?

PIPER:

I’m starving.

Behind Piper stands VANESSA, a giant post-op transsexual.

Vanessa strokes her hair.

VANESSA:

Such pretty hair.

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