Orgazmo Page #4

- Aw, you're puttin' me on.

- No, I told you it works.

Go ahead, shoot yourself.

No, I couldn't.

Go on, give yourself a treat.

just shoot yourself

in the foot or something.

I gotta get cleaned off..

Wow! Wow, wow! Wow!

I told you.

I told you it works.

Do me again.

This is incredible.

Come on. Do me again.

[Giggles]

Amazing.

You made this thing, huh?

Whew. yeah.

[Exhales]

Sure beats jerkin' it, huh?

Gettin' your arm all tired.

Wow. Heavenly Father has

really given you a gift for science.

Yeah, whatever.

Hey, can you walk around

with that thing on?

- I think so. Why?

- Wanna go have some fun?

## [Rock]

[No Audible Dialogue]

[Both Moaning]

[Moaning Continues]

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[No Audible Dialogue]

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[No Audible Dialogue]

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Get up against the wall.

Spread your legs. Keep your arm up there.

[Gasping, Groaning]

All right, kid. Look. This is

the last scene for the day. You okay?

No.

Good. This is the scene...

where the evil King Erectus whisks you

back in time to the Garden of Eden.

The Garden of Eden?

Nice, huh? Look at me.

It's just you and T-Rex in this scene,

so I'm gonna need a lot of hot action

before I bring in your stunt cock,

all right?

Go ahead. Lay down.

Wh-- Wh--

Why do they call her T-Rex?

[Rumbling]

- [Male Voice]

Hi, fellas. I'm ready to fudge.

- Oh, my gosh!

- You want me on top?

- No, no! I'll be on top.

You're gonna make me come,

or I'm gonna kick your butt.

And action.

Come on!

[Yells]

Come on now. Oh, oh, baby.

Oh, you make me so hot now.

Come on.

Oh, that's good.

Oh, you make me so hot!

Oh, come on.

Fudge me now! Fudge me now!

Come on! Come on!

## [Easy Listening]

## [Continues]

[No Audible Dialogue]

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Oh, come on, lover. Baby.

Slap that ass.

Damn, dude!

That's some hot sh*t right there!

Come on now! Come on!

Hey! Can I get everyone

together for a few photos?

- Photos? Photos for what?

-Just some stills for publicity.

You know, I don't wanna sound

like a queer or nothin',

but I'm really gonna

miss you guys when this show's over.

Ben, do you think people

will see this video in Utah?

I wouldn't worry about it, dude. So many

of these movies get made every month,

nobody's even gonna notice.

Say...

- Geddy Lee.

- Who's Geddy Lee?

Geddy Lee, best bass player ever.

Come on!

Geddy Lee!

Mr. Orbison. It's Joe Young.

Oh, Hung! Joe Hung. How are you?

I actually hadn't received

my money yet and I was wonder--

Of course, Joe. Your money.

You know, I was just over

at the accounting department,

and I think they were putting the checks

through the big check processor.

No, I got my mail today,

and it's not there.

Those dirty bastards!

Well, I need to get it

before I can go home, see?

I'll have that f***ing postman for lunch.

You know, I put that thing in the mail

three times now, Young!

Okay.

An exclusive look at the story behind

the crossover success of the decade.

"Stand back, Jizzmaster Zero."

"You can't get me, Orgazmo."

"I'll get you with my Orgazmo ray."

How does a movie about a sex superhero

become a box-office smash?

And this year's

John Holmes Award goes to--

Tom Hung for Orgazmo.

[Cheering, Applause]

Nuts.

[Chuckling]

Holy sh*t!

What's the difference between

Orgazmo and your previous

porn titles like Schindler's Fist?

I really think history will describe

Orgazmo better than I possibly could.

[People Chattering, Indistinct]

## [Singing in Spanish]

Hi, Ben!

Hey, Georgi.

Goddamn!

Did your breasts get bigger?

Yeah, I upgraded.

My doctor says now I have enough silicone

in my body to kill a small elephant.

Isn't that cool?

Hey, Orgazmo!

I'm not Orgazmo!

The name's Joe, okay?

Not Orgazmo.

Man, you should be

psyched to be Orgazmo.

Especially today.

I mean, look at this party.

Everybody in the business is here today.

I don't know any of these people.

I just came to get the rest

of my money and go.

[All]

Choda Boy!

[Man] Well, my ass

is actually shaped like a pear.

Hey, Orgazmo!

I'm not Orgazmo, okay?

Have you seen Mr. Orbison?

Oh, yeah. I think he's over there

someplace or something.

Hey, what do you think of this band?

They're fine.

Yeah, I think they kind of

sound like Depeche Mode.

You know, I don't wanna

sound like a queer or nothin',

but I think Depeche Mode

is a sweet band.

That's nice, Dave.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

# You know my homie got the b*tches,

and the G folks are chill #

# Got my Jimmie on your tonsils

and the rhymes are feelin' ill #

Oh, sorry.

We are not open yet.

Oh, that's okay.

We're not hungry anyway.

You get out of here!

We brought you the contract.

Our boss told us

to make you a better offer.

Now, here's the pen.

Here's the contract.

B*tch.

You're gonna get popped

if you keep riding me!

Oops! Wrong answer, homie.

[Screams]

Hey, Hung.

Just the man I wanted to talk to.

I actually just came by

to collect the rest of my money.

Oh, yeah. Sure, sure, here. Here.

Hey, listen.

Joe, that is a lot of money.

But that's nothin'

for a man of your talent.

[Grunting, Groaning]

[Chuckles]

How do you like that, G?

Oh, you dirty bastard!

Come on.

Come on.

You better check yourself

before you make me wreck yourself.

One, two!

[Yelling]

Oh, that hurts.

You gonna sign the papers?

Your mama!

Are you gonna sign the papers?

Your mama!

Oh, no, no. Not the glass!

I just replaced it!

[Yells]

Oh, that hurts so bad!

A sequel? You wanna do a sequel?

Shh.

With the success of this thing,

how could I not want to make a sequel?

Look, Joe. I know how crucial you are

to Orgazmo's popularity.

That's why

I'm doubling your salary.

Forty thousand dollars.

Oh, boy.

Whoa!

Come on. Sign the paper!

Okay, okay. I'll sign it.

Hey, I knew you'd see it our way. Sign it!

## [Ends]

Thank you, Los Naked Mariachi.

People, I have a very important

announcement to make.

In three days,

we will begin principle

photography on Orgazmo 2.

[Cheering]

[Ringing]

Hello?

Hi, honey!

Oh, Lisa. Oh, hi.

How are you?

Oh, I'm-- I'm fine.

Uh, oh,

I have some news.

Good or bad?

Well, good and bad, I guess.

Uh, they want me to do a sequel.

A sequel?

Yeah.

To Death of a Salesman?

Wait, doesn't he die

at the end of the first one?

Uh, yes. Yes, he does.

But he has a twin brother

who wants revenge now.

Revenge?

But he killed himself, didn't he?

No, no.

That's just what you were

lead to believe.

He was killed by the C.I.A....

for selling smack to Nazis.

[Chuckling]

Wow!

All this time I thought

Death of a Salesman was boring.

But, Lisa, they're giving me

$40,000 this time.

[Screaming]

Oh, you're the best, Joe!

Oh, poopy, $40,000.

We could almost buy a house.

I know, and that's why

I agreed to do it.

Oh--

[Horn Honks]

I have to go, Joe.

Daddy's here to pick me up--

For choir practice, I know.

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