Orgazmo Page #6

up with Neutered Man, Lobstra!

That's right, Choda Boy.

And if you don't tell me

where Orgazmo is,

I'll... screw you to death!

I'd like to see you try!

All right.

Just let me

get out of these clothes.

Mmm. Ohh!

[Slaps]

Where you want me?

You're not in the shot yet.

Oh. Oh, sorry.

-[Georgi] Stop it!

- Mmm.

[Slaps]

Whoo!

Stop grabbing my ass!

Come on, baby.

Knock it off.

We're not rolling!

I'd say we are.

Ow!

Hey, hey, leave her alone.

Don't you f***in'

tell me what to do!

Just leave her alone.

You don't have any right--

Kee-yaah!

Who?

[Groaning]

Oh, yeah? You want some?

You want some more?

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!

A-Cup, look what you did here!

They're supposed to work

in the next scene.

I'm sorry, Uncle Orbison.

He provoked me.

The both of you two better

stop scrappin' or else you'll be

sleepin' with the fishes, see?

[Farts]

Merry Christmas.

Oh!

He totally started it,

Mr. Orbison. I--

Just get to makeup, Hung.

Are you okay?

Yeah. Thanks for tryin' to help, Joe.

You know, he could've really hurt me.

Ow.

- Action.

- Oh, yeah.

- Oh, no!

- Mm, yeah!

Oh, no. Do something, Choda Dog!

Mmm!

Oh, quickly, Choda Dog,

bite through these ropes!

[TV.:
Indistinct]

[Man On TV.]

No, I gotta take a piss.

[Ben]

Try nipple accelerator, Orgazmo.

Tha n ks, Choda Boy.

That's just what I need.

Joe?

But what has Jizzmaster Zero done with

the little, fat, retarded kid from Boise?

- [Ben] I don't know.

- We must find Jizzmaster Zero.

Here they come, Choda Boy! Duck!

Excuse me, what movie is this?

What movie's this?

Have you been livin' in a cardboard box, lady?

- No, I'm from Utah.

- Oh, I'm sorry.

Joe, Joe, these are two of

the hottest porn stars in Japan--

Natsuko and Haruko.

- [Together] Hi!

- How do you do?

Now, Natsuko, you go sit over here,

right on the bed. Very good.

And, Haruko,

you sit right here, darling.

Now, when we roll cameras,

Natsuko, you say,

"There is no escaping us,

Orgazmo."

There is no escaping us,

Orgazmo.

Good. And, Haruko, you say,

"Prepare to meet your doom!"

Prepare da meet...

so dung.

Good. Close enough.

Joe, you say,

"I'll find a way to break free,

Ass-F*** Twins!"

I'll find a way to brea--

- Oh, uh, I-I can't say that.

- Say what?

- What are they called?

- The Ass-F*** Twins.

- I-- I can't say that.

Can we call 'em something else?

- But they're the Ass-F*** Twins.

Well, I know, but, um, couldn't I call them

the NaughtyTwins or something?

No, you couldn't just call them

the Naughty Twins.

They're the Ass-F*** Twins.

Why would you call them

the Naughty Twins when they

get f***ed in the ass all the time?

Well, that's pretty naughty.

Look, Hung.

I've been pretty patient with you,

but it's wearing thin.

Now, my need

to kiss your ass is over!

So you better shape up, kiddo.

[Shouting]

Understood?

Yes, sir.

Okay. Let's shoot this.

Roll camera.

And action!

Hmm.

There is no escaping us,

Orgazmo.

Prepare da me your doo.

I'll find a wayto break free,

A-- [Quickly] Ass-F*** Twins.

- Get away from him, Ass-F*** Twins!

- [Together] Chodi Bo!

That's right!

Let's see how you like my cock rocket!

- Hmm.

- [Shouts] Cock rocket!

[Crackling, Whistling]

[Crashing]

[Cat Screeches]

[Women Laughing]

Cut, cut, cut!

Goddamn it, cut!

You call that an explosion, Chapleski?

I told you to make it bigger!

All right, mellow out.

I'll make it bigger.

- Jesus.

- Where?

The both of you two a**holes

get off of my set!

We'll just shoot the f***ing sex.

Bring me my stunt cock.

Stunt cock.

Stunt cock.

Hey, how ya doin'?

Just get in there and f***.

But I haven't slapped my ass yet.

Move, f*** boy!

[Grunting]

Yeah. Yeah.

Ass-F*** Twins! Whoo!

[Exhales]

Boy, I've never seen

Mr. Orbison like that.

Yeah, he's a first-class a**hole,

that's for sure.

See you tomorrow.

Good night.

Oh, hey, Joe.

Oh, hi, Dave.

You know, you did a good job

in there today, man.

Thanks.

Thanks.

I don't wanna sound like a queer or nothin',

but I'd kinda like to make love to you tonight.

[Smacks Kiss]

[Together]

Good-bye, Choda Boy.

Good night.

Oh, excuse me.

Hey, boss.

This guy looks really familiar.

Of course he looks familiar.

He's Choda Boy in the film.

Oh, yeah, that's right.

Choda Boy. Good stuff.

- You work for Orbison?

- Is there a problem, Chapleski?

No. No, there's no problem.

Excuse me.

Hi, cupcake. I'm home.

[Women]

Orgazmo!

And Choda Boy!

[Joe] I'll use my Orgazmorator.

[Imitates Ray Gun]

[Ben]

Nice shot!

[Sobs]

Uh, how's it going?

Joe, how could you?

Lisa, listen to me.

You had your heart so set on

being married in the temple,

and-- and having a nice place to live,

and I wanted to have it all for you.

But you had to know

that I didn't want this.

I-- It all happened so fast, Lis, but--

Fie on you, Satan!

[Sobs]

Lisa, I-- I thought nobody would never know.

I-I had no idea it would get this popular.

How could you have sex

with all of those women?

I didn't have sex with 'em.

It was a stunt cock.

A stunt... cock?

Yeah.

So-- So you aren't actually

touching those women's...

breasts?

Oh, no.

That's all just special effects.

Really?

No.

Lisa, I love you.

And-And I did this all for you

and for-for us.

Is this what you think

Heavenly Father has intended for you?

I don't know, Lisa.

All I know is that I'm

finally good at something.

You have to quit, Joe.

You have to quit right now

and get back to Utah.

I can't quit, Lisa.

We're still shooting.

But-- But what about me?

Lisa, It's two more days;

two more days of shooting

and then we'll have all the money we need.

I don't want the money

if this is how you have to earn it!

- Well, I don't know how else I can earn it!

-Joe, it is wrong!

Would you just stop hollerin' at me?

Criminy!

I guess we don't have

anything else to say.

I don't know what's

happened to you, Joe.

But [Sniffles] I hope you're happy

in the life you've chosen.

Don't quote Dickens

in my apartment!

[Sobbing, Squeaking]

That's right. It's my house!

[T-Rex]

Ooh, come on now.

Come on baby. Ohh, ohh, yeah!

Shake that ass now! Come on.

Come on. Move that ass, baby.

Ooh, oh, yeah!

Oh, that's a baby now.

Lisa!

Ohh, you feel so good inside, baby.

Lisa!

Come on.

Who's your little flower now?

Li sa.

[Shouts]

Lisa!

Who's your little flower now?

That's right, baby. Come on.

Give it to Mama now!

Give it to Mama. Come on!

Aw, heck!

- What's your nam e again?

- I am Sancho.

Look, I get a lot of people

auditioning all the time.

What makes you think

you'd be good at porno?

I am Sancho.

That's great,

but what do you do?

What do I do? I am Sancho.

- And?

- And there are many Jeffs in the world...

and many Toms as well.

But I... am Sancho.

- And?

- Are you Sancho?

No, you are not Sancho.

Neither is Scott Baio Sancho.

Frank Gifford, he's not Sancho.

- But I--

- You are Sancho!

- That's right.

- Okay, you're hired.

Of course.

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