Orgazmo Page #7

You get a hundred bucks a scene.

We're shooting one tonight.

It's on the volcano set

with the Ass-F*** Twins.

[Intercom Beeps, Clicks]

Yeah?

[Man] Boss, Joe Young's here to see you.

He says it's very important.

Goddamn it. Send him in.

[Beeps, Clicks]

What do you want, Hung?

I'm very, very busy.

Well, Mr. Orbison,

I just came by to tell you that...

I have to quit.

Oh, my God, it's Orgazmo!

I'm not Orgazmo!

I am Sancho.

You see, Mr. Orbison, my-my fiance

came in from out of town,

and everything just--

Well, dang it, I just have to

get back to Utah and marry her!

Get outta here.

I'll see you on set tomorrow.

No, I'm serious. I--

I appreciate everything you've done for me,

but I have to say no.

My contract does state

that I can leave whenever I want.

Wait a minute, kid.

You're forgetting something.

- What?

- That contracts don't mean sh*t to me!

Now, you're gonna finish this film,

and then do you know

what you're gonna do?

- No.

- You're gonna do Orgazmo 3,

Orgazmo 4, Orgazmo 5,

Orgazmo Twenty-f***ing-seven

if I want you to!

- And do you know why?

- No.

Because I'm Maxxx Orbison,

and I get what I want!

Now-- Now, hold on a minute, Mr. Orbison.

I said I don't wanna do it.

- And you don't-- you don't own me.

- You wanna bet I don't, punk?

Now, I'm warning you, kid:

Don't f*** with me!

Now, you go home

and you tell your little fiance

that the wedding is off,

and you have your ass back here

tomorrow a.m.!

Or else you'll be sleeping

with the fishes. See?

[Clicks, Beeps]

Send in the next audition.

You know, I have had enough

of your poop, Mr. Orbison.

Find yourself another Orgazmo!

I'm warnin' you, Hung!

Good-bye!

Not so fast, happy pants.

Fss-sss-aaa-aah!

[Orbison]

No. No.

It's his decision. Let him go.

Hm!

You should've let me whup his ass,

Uncle Orbison!

No, we don't need him all messed up

for the shoot tomorrow.

There's another way.

[Sniffling]

[Bags Hit Ground]

Joe?

Joe, it's me.

Joe, come on. Can we please

just talk about this some more?

Joe.

Hi, Ben.

Man, I just tried callin' you.

I've got some big news.

No, no, no. I've got big news too.

I just quit.

What?

I'm goin' back to Utah

to be a normal Mormon again.

I just came to say good-bye.

I found out who's been

beating up G-Fresh.

It's Orbison.

Those thugs work for him,

Joe.

Orbison. Wow.

Boy, that guy just thinks

he owns the world, doesn't he?

Yeah, he does.

And that's why you and I need to do somethin'.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

Look, I might have lost the only thing

that really matters to me.

I'm not staying in this town

another hour!

Hey, you're gonna let

Orbison extort money

from somebody like G-Fresh?

Listen to me, Joe! You need to--

No, no.

You-- You listen to me, Ben.

I don't know exactly when I lost

control of my life, but I want it back!

No, wait a minute.

See, now you're doin' what they told ya!

Doggone it, Ben! I'm not a superhero.

I'm a Latter-day Saint.

Lisa?

[Ringing]

- Hello?

-Joe! Joe, help me!

- Lisa, what--

-Joe!

- I told you not to f*** with me, Hung!

- What have you done with her?

I'm gonna send her away

so you don't have to worry

about her for a while.

Now, you be on set tomorrow a.m.,

or else I'm not gonna send her away.

I'm gonna blow her away.

Do you understand what I mean?

You mean, she'll be sleeping

with the fishes, see?

That's right. Now, you just finish this film,

and we'll see about getting

you two lovebirds back together.

Don't hurt her-- her.

[Dial Tone]

[Receiver Clicks]

Oh.

- [Fist Thumps]

- What should we do with her, boss, huh?

We need some collateral.

Twins! Take a break.

Put her on the set.

Joe, what the hell you doin'?

He took her, Ben.

Orbison took my cupcake!

Oh, sh*t!

I knew it would come to this.

Where's the Orgazmorator?

I have to get her back.

Hold on. Listen.

Orbison's mansion is like a fortress, Joe.

There's no way you can do this by yourself.

I know.

That's why I need you.

Damn, Joe.

I've never seen you like this.

I'm pissed off.

- Help me! Help!

- Will you shut up?

You pig! You're the one responsible

for degrading all of those women!

Hey, hey, what about men, huh?

He degrades them too.

Yeah, men are equally degraded

in pornographic films.

But men are always

in a position of power.

The men are the ones

who want the product so bad.

They're the victims!

Well, then it exploits men

by exploiting women.

Hence, it exploits people.

- Shut up!

- Yeah!

I do what I do,

and I make a lot of money.

- And I don't give a sh*t what I do to people,

because they are all idiots!

- Yeah!

Especially you, Clark,

you pig-f***ing hunk o' sh*t!

- Yeah!

- Men like you make the Lord sick!

Jesus is gonna put an end to you.

[Muffled Cries]

If Jesus Christ wants

to bring Maxxx Orbison down,

he's gonna need a lot of help.

Quick! To the Orgazmobile!

What?

My Buick Century.

[Engine Starting]

[Tires Screeching]

[Horn Honking]

## [CarStereo:
Man Singing]

# He sent his son to die for me #

# He didn't have to do that ##

Man, this sh*t has got to go!

## [Rock]

You better hope your

little boyfriend finishes my film,

or else I'm gonna release this instead.

I think we should start

with a close-up of my ass!

Welcome to Hollywood.

[Laughing]

[Laughter Echoing]

We can't go through

the main gate or we'll be spotted.

Can you climb the wall with that thing on?

I'll sure as Abraham try.

Right.

Come on. Get that camera up!

Don't yell at me.

I'm not used to workin' like this.

Man, these European videos

are kinky!

This'll be cake!

Yeah.

[Barking]

Oh, sh*t!

Over the wall!

Ow!

-Joe!

- Aah!

Oh.

Oh. Hey.

Oh. Ah! Bad dog.

Huh. I didn't know

it worked on animals.

Bad, bad--

Ben, could-- could you

give me a hand here, Ben?

Bad dog. Shoo!

- That's a bad dog. Oh!

- Dude, that's f***ed up.

Okay, I'm ready.

Finally!

Okay, people, let's do this.

Roll camera.

[Laughing]

[Laughing Weakly]

Drop him.

Right.

Hey! This is private property.

- Where's the woman you kidnapped?

- Hung?

[Both Laughing]

Hung, is that you?

Don't you think you're taking

this role a little bit too seriously?

- Where's my fiance, butt lord?

- Let's just say your fiance is getting

an education in the industry.

Yeah, she's gonna be a star,

just like you.

Why, you dirty so-and-so!

I've been waiting for this!

Son of a b*tch!

Need a hand?

[Muffled Cries, Speech]

Excuse me?

F*** off!.

You dirty girl!

Oh, I can do that.

Na-tooki!

John Quang Doe.

Huh?

[Belches]

No problem.

Ha-ha-ha! You twerp!

Now I got ya!

Sayonara.

Oh, sh*t!

Who are you?

I am Sancho.

[Pleasurable Moaning]

[Speaking Spanish]

Sh*t, dude.

[Lisa, Muffled]

Get off of me, you stupid--

Ow! Get off of me! Oww!

Ow! Off.me!

Boss! We got a problem.

He's here!

- Who's here?

- Orgazmo! The real Orgazmo!

There is no real Orgazmo,

you dipshit.

Aa-aa-aah!

- Let the woman go right now!

- Who the hell are you?

I said, let her go!

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