Oscar Page #4

I'll wait right here.

I promise.

Connie, keep your eye on my offilce...

and make sure my daughter

don't go nowhere, huh?

How'd she get in there? I've been

watchin' this door the whole time.

- Not Lisa. Theresa!

- You got two daughters?

All right, in the third, I want $40

across the board on High Hat.

That's right,

$40 worth of parsley.

- We're running a little low on garnish.

- Aldo, that kid Anthony?

- He left.

- I know he left. Get him back here.

- He said he was takin' a walk around the block.

- I can't. I'm smokin' a salmon.

Put it out, get Anthony

and stash him somewhere.

But not in my offilce.

Look at you, Snaps. One day of

bein' honest, and you're fallin' apart.

Forget about the promise

to your old man.

A promise is a promise.

Mr Provolone!

Can I speak to ya now?

Not now!

Finuccis!

- Angelo!

- As you were.

Angelo!

Sofila, honey. You're the filrst

person I've wanted to see today.

This is the last time-

absolutely the last time I drive

with that crazy chauffeur of yours!

- Johnny Elbows?

- He dropped me off at Mass...

- and stayed out front with the motor running!

- Ah, it's a force of habit.

You had to filre Oscar!

He was a real chauffeur!

Forget about Oscar. We got

more important things to talk about.

What's the matter?

Jesus, Mary and Joseph!

My baby!

My little baby.

Your father just told me.

Mama. I'm sorry, Mama.

Oh, it's not your fault.

- It's his fault!

- My fault?

Yes! You suffocated her!

You kept me prisoner up here

like Rapunzel!

- Well, you certainly ain't Snow White!

- Look at the example you've set.

Filling the house with thugs,

goons and hit men!

All right, well, sometimes

I had to bring my work home with me.

Who did this thing to you?

Tell Mama.

Daddy knows.

He met with him this morning.

Well, who is it?

Better you hear it

from your own daughter's lips.

It's Oscar.

- The chauffeur!

- The chauffeur!

- Why you actin' so surprised? You knew.

- Of course I knew!

I just had no idea.

Be right back.

There you are.

- I found him.

- We gotta talk.

Angelo, we've gotta talk.

Oh, I didn't know you were busy.

You must be Mrs Provolone.

What an honour.

Sofila, little Anthony, my accountant.

And future son-in-law. I've just asked

permission to marry your daughter.

Lisa?

No, dear, not Lisa.

The other one.

- What other one?

- You know. The other one.

The other one that's not Lisa. Why don't

you go check on the girls, dear?

- I didn't know you had two daughters.

- Yeah, this house is full of surprises today.

Look, Anthony,

I don't know if you noticed...

but my wife was a little cool to you.

I did notice.

Is there anything wrong?

- Yeah, she thinks you're a fortune hunter.

- Oh, no!

Nothing could be further from the truth! How

can I convince your wife of my good intentions?

Easy. You know that 50 Gs

you chiseled from me?

And plan to give to your daughter

after we're married.

Well, give it to her before

you're married. Write out a cheque.

That way, my wife will know you're not

marrying Lisa just for her money.

- Theresa.

- Yeah, yeah. I'm always gettin' these two kids mixed up. Here, sit down.

- There's a little problem.

- No ink?

I didn't want to put the money

in a bank.

You know what kind of shape

they're in these days.

I converted it to precious stones-

diamonds, emeralds, that kind of thing.

That's the perfect wedding gift.

You know how women love jewels.

I'll go get it right now.

Anthony, if you want,

I could have one of my boys escort you.

- After all, that's a lot of ice.

- No, don't bother.

- I'll be right back, Dad.

- I'll be waitin', son.

You miserable little punk.

- Aldo, where's that chauffeur?

- Johnny's out waxin' the Caddy.

- Not that lug. The other one- Oscar.

- You filred him.

- I know I filred him. Where does he live?

- How should I know where Oscar lives?

- I know where he lives.

- Yeah? Where?

- South Side.

- All right. You take a ride out there with Johnny Elbows and grab him!

- Only he don't live there no more.

- Where does he live now?

He joined the army for a six-year hitch,

and they shipped him abroad.

It seems he was in love with some skirt.

Never told us who.

But they broke up because her father

was a real pain in the ass.

- Oh, is that so?

- Oh, yeah.

As much as he loved her, he couldn't bear

havin' this creep as a father-in- law.

Don't you ever shut up?

What'd I say?

- I have got to talk to you, Mr Provolone.

- Later!

Mr Provolone, I'm leavin' you

to go to the Underwoods.

Underwoods!

You're goin' to work for Bruce?

- I'm marryin' Bruce.

- You're marryin' Bruce?

I found him filrst!

I mean for my daughter.

We met the day he called on Lisa.

It was love at filrst sight.

Congratulations. You're filred!

You can't filre me. I quit!

Try gettin' a reference

out of me, sister!

Great. A maid gets a millionaire,

my daughter gets a chauffeur.

Better tell Toomey

to hightail it over here.

You got it too tight!

Eh, I make it more loose.

Shut up your face, Mussolini.

Come on, you guys.

I'm runnin' out of time.

Angelo, can I talk to you alone?

Never mind them.

They only hear in Italian.

- I just came from Lisa's bedroom.

- You and everybody else.

Angelo, our daughter is disgraced

before the eyes of God.

You have to fiInd Oscar!

Oscar's been scratched.

He jumped the country.

But the baby needs a father!

The baby's got a father.

What we need is a husband.

A husband, a husband.

Where will we fiInd a husband?

No look at us.

We already married.

- Si, we married real good.

- I got ten bambinos. He got eight.

- You no got ten bambinos.

- I got ten bambinos.

- No. Who?

- I got Anna Maria, I got Salvatore...

I got Fabrizio, I got Antonio,

I got Mario, I got big Luigi...

I got little Luigi, I got Luigi Jr,

I got Guiseppe and I got Figaro.

Figaro no yours.

Figaro come from the milkman.

- He make a joke.

- Did I ask for the Finucci roll call?

What about that boy who was here before?

Didn't he want to marry our daughter?

Yeah, but not Lisa.

The other one.

- What other one?

- The other one that's not Lisa!

We don't have a daughter

that's not Lisa!

Sofila, you think I don't know that?

I have no idea

what you're talking about.

But if you love me,

if you ever loved me...

you'll fiInd my little girl

a husband!

He's back again,

for the third time...

and now he's got

a little black bag.

Break out the java and the sinkers,

boys. I think I'll stick around.

Make sure the stripes

are straight as an arrow.

Here he is,

back by popular request.

Finuccis, out.

So, Mr Provolone, do I have permission

to marry your daughter now?

- My son.

- Oh, Mr Provolone.

- You've made me so happy.

- Where are you goin'?

- To tell Theresa the wonderful news.

- Not so fast.

I've got some wonderful news for you.

What could be more wonderful

than marrying your daughter?

Havin' her baby.

- Theresa's pregnant?

- Theresa's pregnant!

- Who's Theresa?

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