Our Relations Page #5

Hey, listen sailor, lay off of the blonde.

l saw her first.

(# Big band)

l wonder what our wives are doing.

They're probably at home|crying their eyes out.

lt serves them right.

- A table for four.|- Yes, madam. Come this way, please.

l'm sorry, l'll have to give you|a table on the balcony.

That's all right.

(Yells)

- What's the matter with him?|- He doesn't want to pay the bill.

- He can't do that!|- No, sir!

Where's my hat?!

- ls this it?|- Yeah, thank you.

Quick!

Whiskey and soda.

Ooh!

What's the matter?

Say, you four guys stay away from me.

We're not four guys, there's only two of us!

(Lily) Well, look who's here.

Alice! What's the matter?|We can explain everything.

- You can't explain those two old crones.|- No, they're old welfare workers.

- Certainly.|- We picked...

l'll tell them.

- Don't give me that.|- But we can prove it!

- Sit down and have a drink.|- As soon as we get rid of these two.

- We'll soon get rid of them.|- ls that so?!

We want you to meet the two girls we met.

- Lily and Alice...|- l know all about them!

You ungrateful hound! l'll fix you!

You keep out of this, you startled ant!

(Laughs)

Ow! Oh! Ooh!

Don't...! Ooh.

(# Happy Birthday)

Pardon me. Hey, you, give me a hand.

One, two, three!

Happy birthday to you.

- This isn't his birthday.|- Nevertheless, many happy returns.

Come on, Betty, this is final.

(Crack)

- Why did you help her?|- l didn't know what she was doing.

That's right, you wouldn't. Get this off.

That's what you get|for picking up strange women.

Well, we got rid of 'em, didn't we?

Pardon me while l go and clean myself up.|Alf, entertain the ladies while l'm gone.

We'll be right back, Alice.

After this we'd better go home|and see if our wives are sorry...

Don't worry about them,|let them worry about us.

We're gonna have|the best time we've ever had.

- Three cigars, please.|- Yes, sir.

- Thank you.|- You'll have one?

- Good evening.|- Where's that package?

- What package?|- That package with the pearl ring.

- You've got it, haven't you?|- What business is it of yours?

- l'll soon show you...!|- Just a minute.

Lower your voices.|We cater to ladies and gentlemen here.

All right, l understand.|You double-crosser, give me that ring.

Are you trying to frighten me?

Go ahead, little boy, and peddle your fish.

Oh!

Want any more, huh?!

Now, wait a minute, wait a minute...

You take your hands off me.|Take your hands off me!

Put me out! (Yells)

(Glass shattering)

(Captain) Oh! Oh!

That guy must be crazy!|Stanley, go and get the manager!

And take that hat off! Go on.

lt must be Bert - l'll go and see.

- What's happened?|- Where's the manager?

What manager?

Beat it, beat it!

He slipped the ring in his pal's pocket.

- Here's the manager.|- So, trying to get away, eh?!

- l'll get you!|- This man's a lunatic! He's trying to rob us!

- Rob you?! You dirty crook!|- You'll have to settle this outside!

This is gonna be settled here and now!|Go on, get out of my way!

- Give me my ring!|- Take him out!

- l'll get you!|- Take him! Get him out of here!

Look, come on and stand up!

Eh? Will you get... Just...

What?

- The trouble with him is he's drunk.|- That's about right!

- Take him. Get him.|- (Captain) l'll get you!

- lt's a good thing we sent for the manager.|- lt was.

Give me the ring back, it'll be safer with me.

What do you mean?|You didn't give me the ring.

l did, l slipped it in your pocket|when l told you to beat it.

l haven't got the ring.

(Ollie) Are you trying|to hold it back from me?

Can you imagine that?|My pal trying to double-cross me!

Excuse me, gentlemen, it's not my business|but l saw him put the ring in your pocket.

What do you mean? l haven't got it!

Pardon me for butting in|but may l speak to you alone?

Why, sure. Pardon me.

- Would you like us to scare it out of him?|- How?

We can make out we're tough guys|and take him for a ride.

- (Chuckles)|- What did he say?

These gentlemen have invited us for a ride.|Would you like to go along?

l'd love to but what about the ring?

Oh, just forget that. l was only kidding!|l've got it right there.

You had me worried.

lf you're going for a ride|would you drop me off at home?

- Sure, we'll be glad to drop you off.|- Thanks, pal.

- Come on, boys, let's go.|- (Stan) Gotcha.

- Call a cab.|- Taxi!

l hope it doesn't rain.

(Police siren)

Oh! There they go!

(Siren wailing)

Hm.

- Did you get rid of him?|- Who?

- The Captain.|- l haven't seen him. Have you?

What? You told me to beat it|and he's been chasing me.

- You mean the Captain is in here?|- You saw him, he's as mad as a firefly.

We've got to get out of here!

Oh, there you are! l've been looking for you.

- What happened to your face?|- You know what!

Don't think you can put mustard on my head|and burn my nose!

- What's he talking about?|- Before it was two to one.

Now it's three to two, that makes it even.

You must be barmy. We haven't...

Barmy, am l? At 'em, boys!

You go that way and cut off their retreat.|Come on!

Fooled you, didn't l?

Up aloft after them! Come on!

(Crowd chattering excitedly)

(Stan whimpers)

(Creaking)

Whoa!

(Screaming)

(Whimpering)

There they go!

Come on, now!

(Honking horn)

That's the boss.

Good job getting rid of the cops. Stand by.

- This way, gentlemen.|- Say, you forgot to drop our friend off.

Oh, he's asleep. We'll do that later.

- Hello, boss.|- Hello, Tiny.

Hello, boss.

Boys, meet some friends of mine.

- How do you do?|- How are you?

This lug refuses to give up|a valuable pearl ring.

- No, he's got the ring...|- Shh!

One of you has it|and you'd better cough it up.

(Both) l haven't got it!

- Shakespeare.|- Not now!

All right, you crooks,|we'll give you the works.

Go to it, Tiny. You know where to find us.

- All right, boss.|- What about our ride?

- Just a minute...!|- Sit down.

- But l wanna talk to these men.|- Sit down!

- All right, boys, mix up the cement.|- Sure, Tiny.

- What are you gonna do?|- Put your feet in cement.

And if you don't talk,|we're gonna throw you off the dock!

Why don't you give 'em the ring?

(Whimpering) l haven't got the ring! You|told me you had it when were in the bar!

l can't remember you giving it to me|in there and... Oh!

- (Whimpering)|- Hey, hey!

You go that way.

Where in tarnation did they go?

They gave us the slip.

- We'd better get back to the ship.|- That's them there!

- (Ollie) Oh-o-o!|- (Stan yelping)

(Siren wailing)

Good and hard now, Tiny.

- (Tiny) Take 'em out.|- OK.

- (Stan whimpering hysterically)|- Oh! Be careful!

Oh! Ohh!

Ohh...

- No!|- You can't do this to us!

- (Shrieking)|- Oh-ho.

Stop that crying!|Now this is your last chance.

Tell us where that ring is or over you go.

(Whimpering) We don't know, do we?

How can we tell you if we don't remember?

- Maybe this'll help!|- (Both) Oh!

(Laughing)

(Yelling)

(Stan whimpering hysterically)

Take this thing off of my head!

(Stan wailing)

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