Outrageous Fortune Page #4

- What is your problem now?

Promising sexual favours? That

sends us back to the Dark Ages.

It's something you simply do not do!

You do if you're lying.

Besides, it worked.

Excuse me, but I must

have missed something.

How exactly did it work?

We're at a dead end.

- You'll see. - I'll see?

- Howie Rinker, please.

- Oh, Howie.

- How! San!

- Great, how 'bout you?

- Hey, Frankie, wanna paper?

Yeah? How's your fish?

Uh-huh. What'd the vet say?

- What does a diseased fish have to...

- Stop it. It's in the bag.

Listen, cutey.

Seeing as how you're my main

man over at the phone company...

I wanna ask you just a

teensy favour, all right?

Can you tell me what number was called

out of Wally Frank Tobacconist at 1:00?

- This afternoon. Yeah, yeah, I'll hold.

- This is good.

It's probably one of those guys

with polyester pants and hips.

- Yeah, I'm

here. - Uh-huh.

- Good boy.

- All right.

That's a cab company, right?

Got it. Oh, you're a catch, How.

Our kids are gonna be

gorgeous, you know that?

- See you.

- Okay, don't gloat.

Taxi!

Is that all the money

you walk around with?

Well, where's yours? I thought you

were the working pornographic actress.

I went to the Bahamas.

Hi. Can you help me? I,

uh... I'm such a ditz.

L-I left my, uh, tennis racket

in one of your cabs today.

Uh, I was picked up around,

uh, uh, 77th a-a-and Broadway...

at 1:
00.

- Is there a

reward? - Yes. - No.

Ooh! Ah!

What the hell is goin' on? What

the hell you gonna do to me, huh?

- What's wrong with you?

- Yo!

Dipstick! There's your man.

What?

- Your turn.

- Come on, Rico. Back to work.

- I don't wanna go back to work.

- Oh, no, no, no, no.

No, I can't talk to him.

I went to a private school.

Hey, he looks like a

prince. He's gonna love you.

Hi.

I'd like to ask you a few

questions about a fare...

you might've had earlier in the day.

A very attractive Cauca-ca...

Just "person" will do nicely,

won't it? Why differentiate?

You would have picked him up, uh,

right outside a little smoke shop.

Does that ring any bells of any kind?

Whatsoever? Hello?

- Tall dude? -

Yes. - Tweed coat?

Yes, yes. A tweed coat, right.

I don't remember a thing.

- No, no, you just said a tall dude...

- I didn't say nothin'.

Oh, come on now. Don't give

me a big song and dance.

Oh, no.

Yeah. Oh, my God.

- He's going to hurt us.

- What the hell is the matter with you?

Why should he help us

with nothin' in it for him?

All right, you tell

me. What should I do?

You're an actress. Bullshit him.

I don't use my training

to tell lies to people.

Well, what do you use it

for? Geez, it's so simple.

Hey, how'd you like to

make a quick 200 bucks?

- Say what?

- 200 bucks, cash...

to take us to where

you, uh, took the guy.

Are you out of your

mind? We don't have $200.

Ah, chill out, would ya?

Where are we?

We've been going for miles, and I haven't

seen a single white person on the street.

There's one. Oops, they got him.

That's not funny.

- Oh, my God.

- You sure this is it?

Hey, keep your pants on. We're

coming right out, all right?

Look, you know and I know I'm never gonna get

another cab to come out here to Vietnam, cue ball.

So get real, all right?

All right, I'll give you 300 bucks.

Three hundred bucks just to

sit here till we get back.

Three hundred?

You're a real pain in

the ass. You know that?

- Gonna break his neck. I'm gonna break his neck.

- Beyond belief.

- You're really determined to have us killed, aren't you?

- Hey, get over yourself.

- He's not gonna kill us.

- Oh? Why not?

- 'Cause we're gonna be raped and murdered in this building.

- Oh!

Oh! Ohh.

Oh, no. Oh. Is that urine on the floor?

- What's a little urine?

- Freeze!

- Oh, my God, he's just a child.

- Well, at least rape's out.

Let me do this. Do you really think you

should be playing with your daddy's...

Shut up! Where's your

money? Credit cards!

- Revoked. Where do you think?

- Your bags.

- Throw 'em over here.

- Oh, I love this bag.

Ohh! Oh! Oh.

I'm not hit. You little...

Give me that, you little thug.

- I'll be damned. -

What? - It's a fake. - Oh.

- Where'd you get this?

- Santa.

Oh, yeah? Well, if you want to see another

Christmas, you're gonna have to help us find someone.

Shh.

- Come on, man, stop begging.

- This was a mistake.

Not any more.

Police! You're under arrest!

Don't even think about it. Don't even f***in'

think about it, or I'll blow your f***in' nuts off!

Do we understand each

other? Okay, turn around.

Face the wall. Do it.

Do it! Do it! Do it!

- Okay, frisk 'em.

- Frisk 'em?

Damn. Busted by two broads.

Nice buns, boys. You been working out?

Read 'em their rights.

You have...

the right to remain silent...

because anything you say can...

and will be used against you.

You, uh...

Attorney. You have, uh, you

have the right to an attorney.

- Sh*t.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah. I heard it, I heard it.

Hey, look, look, what do you

want? You got it. Just talk to me.

You know, he's right. We could

make you a real sweet deal, baby.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, we heard it.

Wait a minute. Maybe they

can help us find Santers.

- They don't know Santers.

- Michael Santers?

The hell you say! He was just here.

He was just here a few hours ago.

- Rat fixed him up with a passport.

- Ah, f*** you, Gilroy.

- What the f*** you want me to say?

- Oh, we're in the phoney ID business as well. Ain't that nice?

- What name was the passport under?

- I wanna talk to a lawyer.

Oh, yeah? It's gonna be

kind of a short conversation.

They'll have to squeegee

your brains off the wall.

Yeah. You, uh, you

better tell her the name.

- She's kinda cranky.

- Yeah. I got my period.

- John Strauss.

- John Strauss.

- Where'd he go?

- Hey, look, he's leaving town. That's all I know.

Hey, look, I'm bein'

real nice here, huh?

Why don't you be nice and,

uh, open that box on the table?

Go on.

- Now, look, why don't you just keep it?

- You givin' them the money?

- Forget that we ever met.

- Are you sick?

- Turn around!

- Yeah. Happy to.

Well, I hate to give it to

you, but that was pretty good.

Yeah, it was, it was.

Yeah, yeah.

Well, a deal's a deal.

And now, my man, we

wanna go to the airport.

The airport.

- Eastern Airlines flight 501...

- They don't give out passenger lists.

- You have to be police or FBI.

- You are such a dip.

This is all the FBI we need.

His luggage was totally

over the weight limit.

Can you imagine the gall, trying

to bribe an airline official?

He offered me $ 100

to let it go through.

- Ah, what a world. I tell ya.

- This is the final boarding call for Eastern Airlines flight 501...

- Watch and learn.

- To Albuquerque, now boarding at gate 4 2.

Excuse, please. I was

hoping you would to help me.

Uh...

how... how do I to say?

You say it quickly. I'm

off in three minutes.

My father, he's coming here. We...

No, I tell you from the beginning.

My name is Anna. This

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