Outrageous Fortune Page #5

is my sister Elona.

My half-sister. She

does not speak English.

My father, we have not seen him

since we was babies in Prague.

He send us here in suitcase on train.

We, uh, escape, you see?

- No, I'm afraid I don't.

- Now we get letter.

He escape.

He is here.

But we do not know where.

We do not know which plane.

Could be any plane. Please,

you tell us which plane. Please?

Absolutely not. I'm sorry.

That was the single biggest crock...

I've ever had the privilege to

hear in my 19 years at this airline.

I think that deserves something.

What was the name?

- Strauss. John Strauss.

- John Strauss.

- Here we

go. - Uh-huh.

Flight 501 to Albuquerque.

- Looks like you just missed him.

- Oh, no!

Wait a minute, wait a minute. He took another

line through St Louis, and it's delayed.

If I can put you on our flight

225 through Kansas City...

- you can beat

him. - Yeah! - Aha!

- But it's leaving in one minute.

- You get the tickets, I'll hold the plane.

Oh, good, good. Two tickets

to Albuquerque, please.

The white zone is for the immediate

loading and unloading of passengers only.

- Oh, thank you.

- No parking.

The white zone is for the immediate loading

and unloading of passengers only. No parking.

The white zone is for the immediate

loading and unloading of passengers only.

No parking.

- Hey, what's your hurry?

- Come on, over there, you jackass!

Officer, those men are bad!

Hold it right there!

Hold it! Come back here!

I swear to you, she'll be here any second.

Her ivy got caught in the luggage rack.

Sandy, where are you?

She's a sick woman. She's

gotta get on this plane.

There's a kidney in Kansas City

that's not gettin' any fresher.

Sandy! Excuse me. Look

out. Wait, Sandy. Sandy.

- Here you go.

- Hold up there!

- Anyone care for some money?

- Money! Money!

What have you done? Oh, my God!

- That's all our money. What are you doing?

- Hey! Hey!

Albuquerque, honey, Albuquerque. Thanks.

I gotta get on that plane!

I sell cars in Albuquerque.

Give us a call if you can.

- Wanna apprehend?

- No. We'll pick up surveillance.

I had this old Cadillac, see? We couldn't

get rid of it. I said, what the hell...

Oh, my God, there they are.

- And I played it big. No use playing it little. I'm just sorry it was so...

- Look.

Fan out.

- Why don't you get your car the same colour as your...

- Come on.

Hey, hey, hey. Hey, where

you gals scootin' off to, huh?

- Panansky!

- Bobby, this way!

Ow!

Hey, buddy! Hey, where

do you think you're...

Throw something.

Go!

And I thought coach was bad.

Panansky! Panansky!

Excuse me. Sir.

- Has flight 501 arrived? - Yes,

ma'am. Right there. - Uh-huh. Yeah.

Panansky!

Where's he going?

No, no, ladies. You

know better than this.

- You're right. - That way. - You're

right, of course. Thanks for your help.

Panansky! Where the hell have you been?

- Michael! - Michael!

- There he goes!

Wait! No, no, wait!

Oh, no, no!

Oh! Yes, okay.

- Hey! Stop!

- Go through that next light! Go through the yellow! Through it!

You can take the bike back.

Michael and I will be spending

the night in that motel we passed.

Dream on. We'll be on a plane to Hawaii.

- I can't believe it.

- He's really in there.

Yeah.

What's the matter? You afraid?

Why should I be?

Then why don't you go rushing

into his... into his arms, huh?

Well, why don't you?

It's a long way to come to get bad news.

Yeah.

Well...

- Oh, God!

- Oh, I know.

- Let me see.

- Oh, no! Oh!

- Rat woman! Oh!

- Oh, it's not that bad.

- Oh, I'm...

- Oh, no!

- Could we share the mirror?

- Oh, Christ!

- What is it?

- I would be getting a zit.

I don't see anything.

There's nothing there.

- No?

- No. You're worse than I am.

- At least you have eyelashes. Geez.

- Oh, what do you want? You're a natural blonde.

- And you tan. - I want

eyelashes. - You make me sick.

Oh, natural? You think this is natural?

"Oh, my dear, you too

can have this colour."

- No sh*t? It looks great.

- Oh, thanks. It's just a rinse and a cellophane toner.

- Yeah? - You want a Tic

Tac? - Yeah. - Okay. L...

Well, I'd say good luck, but...

Yeah.

- Whatever.

- Yeah, whatever.

Hello.

Michael, no!

You.

- Oh, Michael!

- Michael!

- He's all right.

- Oh! Let's get him out of here.

- Michael? Oh!

- Michael. Oh!

Oh!

You're okay. It's just a bump.

- Yeah.

- My God.

- Michael! - Michael! - I feel that

we are entitled to an explanation here.

- What is your relationship with this woman?

- Did you make it with her?

Do you even know this person?

- That's why you're

here? - Yeah! - Well...

I know you're in some sort of trouble,

but I'd like to discuss this first.

- Please.

- Right now.

- W-Wait a minute. -

Please? - Oh, Michael. Here.

- Darling, let me help you up.

- Oh! Easy.

- You mean you did this on

your own? - Yeah. - Yeah.

- There's nobody with you?

- No.

- He changed the subject. Did you see how he did that?

- Yes, you did.

Now, look here, Michael, there's an issue at stake

and I'm sorry, you're just not going to get out of it.

- How did you follow me here? - L-l... Well,

we... we knew you weren't dead at the morgue.

- And you told them?

- Of course we told them. We...

- Sh*t.

- Bad idea, huh?

Wait a minute. You mean

you wanted to be dead?

It would have been useful.

Russell, abort the rendezvous. There's a

chopper out there, and this could be trouble.

- Get out of here. I'll meet you in Tres Crucas.

- Screw 'em. You got the stuff.

No, we don't have the advantage here.

I'll meet you in Tres Crucas. Acknowledge.

You're the boss. Over and out. Let's go.

You're not a schoolteacher,

are you, Michael?

Michael, what's going

on? What's in Tres Crucas?

- I'm sorry you heard that.

- Who cares what I heard?

What was I to you?

- What was I?

- Convenient.

Moderately enjoyable...

largely forgettable...

and a lesson to me not

to leave loose ends.

I can't go on. I don't wanna go on.

Oh, Mother told me about men like

this. I hate it when she's right.

Oh, loose ends!

That's all I was to him? A loose end?

What are you doing worrying about your

love life going to sh*t? We're gonna die!

That's comforting.

- Who the hell are they?

- Well, how am I supposed to know? He's after Michael.

They're the good guys!

- Help us! Take us!

- Down here! Here! Please! Help us!

Down here!

Get into the light! He won't

go for us if we're in the light!

- But it won't hold still!

- It's moving too fast!

Sandy! Oh!

Come on, Sandy!

Hurry!

Oh, how do they ever catch criminals?

- He's going to cut us off!

- I'll get you. I'll get you!

Come on!

Looks like these ends are gonna stay loose

just a little longer, you big shithead!

Come on! Down here!

- Hello!

- Weldon?

Hello! I guess you know Mr Atkins!

- Oh, my God!

- No, it's all right!

We're CIA!

CIA?

Uh, can I offer you ladies

coffee, or, um, a Coke?

- Weldon!

- Weldon! What is going on?

I'm not authorized to debrief you at...

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