Overboard Page #7

Annie, I need to talk to you.

Alone, guys.

- Is something wrong?

- Uh, well...

No. Uh, yeah. Yeah.

No, I just... I need to tell you somethin'.

Here, sit down.

What is it?

Annie, I've done...

I've done something that, um...

I'm ashamed of. And I just...

- I already know.

- You do?

- What... What do you know?

- You work nights at the fertiliser plant.

You don't have to be ashamed

because you shovel fish guts.

I'm proud of you no matter what you do.

- Is that it?

- Uh, well, that's one of the things, but I...

No. Not really.

What is it?

Annie...

I...

I... God, I forgot your birthday.

- It's my birthday?

- Come on! Get dressed!

D Jim Dandy to the rescue

d Jim Dandy to the rescue

d Jim Dandy to the rescue

d Go, Jim Dandy! Go, Jim Dandy!

D I'm sittin' on a mountain top

d 30,000 feet to drop

d Spied a lady on a runaway horse

d Uh-huh, that's right, of course!

D Jim Dandy to the rescue

d Go, Jim Dandy! Go, Jim Dandy!

- Come on, I've had it!

- What? Are we goin' home?

- What?

- Are we going home?

- Oh, no. I just... Aren't you hot?

- Yeah. Let's go outside.

- Come on!

- Hey, let's not forget this. It's $7 a pop.

Don't worry about what it costs.

It's your birthday! I got it covered.

Just one last toast to your birthday.

Oh! Whoops, I lost my bottom.

Wait a minute.

There! They always do that. Now, this is...

- Happy birthday, Annie.

- Thanks, Dean.

- I've never tasted anything quite like this.

- It's good stuff.

Boy, it sure is pretty, isn't it?

Why do they honk three times?

To signal they're comin' home.

Yeah, it's a legend... of Arturo,

who was a Portuguese fisherman.

He met this beautiful girl

his first night in town - Catarina.

And, um, eventually they fell in love.

But the problem was that Catarina's

father was the territorial governor.

He didn't want his only little girl

to be with a lowly fisherman.

So he told Arturo

that he'd have to ship off,

which he did, but he told Catarina

he'd be back for her

and when he came back,

he'd signal with three long blasts

so she could dive off the rocks and swim

to the boat, and they'd be on their way.

Oh, I love this story.

So, a year later,

everything went as planned.

But when she was swimmin' out

to the boat,

the fog got so thick that, uh,

she couldn't find the boat.

Arturo panicked

and he called out "Catarina! Catarina!"

Catarina yelled back "Arturo!"

With that, he dove right off the boat

into the icy waters, and they...

- Kissed.

- No, they drowned.

They never found each other

and they drowned.

- Oh, that's a terrible story!

- Yeah, but the legend is

they reunited at the bottom of the sea,

right over there,

and every time you see

the spray goin' up, it's them.

- Making love?

- Yeah.

For ever and ever.

D For I can't help

d Falling in love...

Dean?

What, Annie?

How old am I?

- Dean.

- Yeah?

Was it always like this?

Every time with you is like the first time.

Oh, come on, guys!

Hey, let us sleep for a while!

Right, that's it! I'm gonna spank 'em.

- No! Dean, please don't.

- Every one of them's gonna get it!

Surprise!

- A washing machine!

- Do you like it?

Honey, it's so expensive.

No sh*t!

Thank you.

She might have no tits

but she has a nice ass.

Grant?

Edith. Hello.

This is ludicrous, Grant.

I have called every week for two months.

I've looked forward to each call.

Do you have the gall to tell me

that I've missed her again?

- She's sleeping.

- I don't believe you.

Grant, if you do not produce Joanna

in one week, I am going to hire a mass

of mercenaries to hunt you down

and chop off the protruding parts

of your body. Is that clear?

I'll find her. I mean, you'll have

your daughter soon. Bye!

Andrew. Point the boat back to Elk Snout.

You and Mommy are going

to take a little trip, aren't we?

We's gonna go bye-bye, yes!

- Sit there and don't get dirty!

- I hate this.

It's not so bad to get dressed up

every once in a while.

It's like the goddamn Brady Bunch!

- Dad's here!

- Mom, Dad's home!

Hey, guys!

I gotta go put on a suit.

Gertie's picking me up.

How can you go hunting

on such an important day?

- Easy. Pheasant don't play miniature golf.

- Hunting calms Billy down, honey.

- The ceremonies start in an hour.

- Billy, hang this guy out.

Sweetie, I'll be ready... in a second.

I lent the station wagon to Gertie

so we have to take the truck.

God! What a mess.

Feathers!

"JS".

Honey, would you hand me a towel there?

Thanks.

What... What is this?

No, that's my question.

They were in the truck.

These are... I dunno what these are.

I... Who...

Here. I, uh, we gotta get going.

We're gonna be late.

Thanks for putting my clothes on the bed.

- Oh, stop it!

- This is nothing!

Nothing?

I gave you the best years of my life.

I've raised your children.

I bore your fruit four times

and you tell me this is nothing?

You're making a big deal

out of a little thing.

It's the number one cause

of divorce in this country.

Where's my jacket? What divorce?

What are you saying...

- I'm saying what I'm saying.

- You're saying what you're saying!

- What, you wanna divorce?

- Well, uh... yeah, maybe I do!

- Well, you can't have one.

- Oh, really. I can have a divorce.

- Where did I put my damn boots?

- I can get a divorce if I want to.

I don't need your permission.

Do you love her?

Do you?

Tell me.

Honestly? Yes and no.

- More yes than no?

- This is unbelievable! How did you...?!

I'm glad this happened.

I've been tryin' to figure out a way to tell

you this for ever. Come here. Sit down.

I wanna tell you something.

JS is you. These are yours and we're not

married. There. God, I finally said it!

What's her name? Jacqueline? Josie?

Honey, I'm not your husband

and you're not my wife.

Is she from that fertiliser plant?

Does she hand out shovels?

These aren't your kids!

You didn't bear anything!

- Don't change the subject! Who is she?!

- Forget it! Come here!

- Guys, we gotta talk and this is serious.

- Mom, we're still all clean!

I just told her about her not being your

mother and I want you to tell her, too.

- Go ahead, tell her.

- Dad, tell her what?

- Tell her she's not your mother.

- But she is our mother!

No. Don't tell her what I told you

to tell her. Just tell her the truth now, OK?

- Tell her about the day she came home!

- She went for a swim.

We were really worried.

I was up all night pacing.

- You'd never seen her before!

- Don't speak to my children that way!

- What do you think you're doing?

- We won't let you ruin everything.

- We're keepin' her.

- She doesn't belong to you!

She didn't belong to you,

but that didn't stop you!

- I had my reasons!

- So do we.

- We like her, Dad!

- You like her, do you?

So much you'd rather live with her

than your own father?!

- Found 'em in the glove compartment?

- Yeah. Tell me every sordid detail.

Who is JS and what does she do to Dean?

- Annie...

- Tell me everything. Be honest with me.

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