Paddington 2 Page #5

of bonhomie.

(EXHALES)

(UTENSILS CLANGING)

(GRUNTING)

Ooh, that's heavy.

Come on,

put your back into it.

Help.

These sacks are awfully heavy.

Well, take them

one at a time, then.

Right. One at a... time.

One juicy orange.

Two juicy oranges.

Three juicy oranges.

- Now what are you doing?

- Taking them one at a time.

One sack at a time!

I'm sorry, I'm finding this a very

stressful working environment.

Aunt Lucy said...

Aunt Lucy! I've had it up to

here with Aunt Lucy!

- (GRUNTS)

- She sounds like

- a proper old bag to me.

- (GASPS)

I beg your pardon?

I said,

your Aunt Lucy sounds like

one of the most naive,

gullible, mushy-brained...

What's going on?

Why are you looking at me

like that?

It's awful hot in here.

Are you hot? I'm hot.

(PANTING)

Did I leave the oven on?

It's called a hard stare.

Aunt Lucy taught me to do them

when people had forgotten

their manners.

You don't have to tell me

about hard stares,

I practically invented them.

Pretty good for a bear though,

I'll give you that.

Now, Mr. McGinty,

I may look like

a hardened criminal to you,

but I really am innocent.

And if you're not going to

help me clear my name,

you could at least help me

make this marmalade.

(SIGHS)

All right, I'll help.

Thank you.

Not gonna be much use

to you though.

These weren't exactly made

for cooking.

Oh, I don't know.

Looks to me like

you've got yourself

a fine pair

of orange squeezers.

Orange squeezers?

(SNIFFING) Good.

No.

Better.

Tomato.

Lovely.

Yes. Spot on.

Now, we have to be

very careful with knives.

Aunt Lucy said that

sensible bears...

(CHOPPING QUICKLY)

Where on earth did you learn

to use a knife like that?

You don't wanna know.

Well, it's jolly good.

(SNIFFS)

Now?

Now.

- Right, it's time for the sugar.

- Okay.

That's what turns the juice

into marmalade.

- How much?

- Ooh, a lot.

(SNIFFING)

Same again.

Ah.

A squeeze of lemon.

A pinch of cinnamon.

And just a bit more sugar.

Well, is it good?

Oh, it's too soon to tell.

We'll only really know

once it's set.

Designed

by Sir Christopher Wren,

St. Paul's Cathedral is

one of London's

most famous landmarks.

Sadly the Great Dome is

closed to visitors today

as one of its statues

was destroyed in a bizarre

accident last night.

But if you follow me...

Excuse me?

What happened here?

- A nun went berserk.

- JUDY:
Really?

It happens.

The police have rounded them

all up for questioning.

Hold it there, Sister!

You're going nowhere till

the detective says so.

Spin it around!

Mind you, if you ask me,

the real culprit

slipped the net.

What makes you say that?

Because I saw her,

that's what.

I was on patrol

in the Upper Dome,

watching the nuns parade

far below,

when something caught

my eye.

One of them broke free

from the herd

and made her way

to the Whispering Gallery.

Only the good Lord knows

what she was doing up there.

PHOENIX:
"C."

But she was never gonna

get away with it.

Not while I'm Vice Deputy

Head of Security.

Oi!

Attention all units.

An unusually attractive nun

is causing mayhem

in the cathedral dome.

Activate emergency protocol.

Stop that stunning Sister.

- I set off at lightning speed.

- (SLURPING)

But by the time

we'd locked the place down,

she'd vanished into the night.

- Good evening, my son.

- Oh, good evening, Your Grace.

Good evening.

(INHALES)

Most beautiful woman I've seen

in a long time.

Do you think you might

be able to describe her?

It would be my pleasure.

(CHUCKLES)

(SLURPS)

- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)

- (BANGS GONG)

Gentlemen.

For breakfast this morning,

Chef McGinty would like to

propose an orange marmalade

served on a bed of

warm crustless bread,

topped with another piece

of warm crustless bread.

Bon appetit.

Two choices:

take it or leave it!

Are you all right, Knuckles?

Yes!

Why don't you come

and join the others?

Don't want to.

Are you scared

what they might think?

No!

What do they think?

Did they like it?

Did they say anything?

What did they say?

- Well...

- They hated it! I knew it!

My father always said

I'd amount to nothing,

and he was right!

Knuckles. Knuckles!

What?

Come and look.

PRISONERS:
Mmm, mmm!

Mmm.

Mmm.

Come on.

(PRISONERS APPLAUDING)

Paddington.

I've a strange, warm tingle

in my tum-tum.

I think that's called pride,

Knuckles.

Well, I don't like it.

PHIBS:
Um, have you got

anything else?

What?

You know, for, um, pudding?

- No!

- Fair enough.

I'm afraid we only know

how to make marmalade.

But if you have any recipes...

This lot? You're wasting

your time there, Paddington.

They wouldn't know their

pectin from their paprika.

Well, my grandmother used to

do a lovely chocolate roulade.

I think

I can remember the recipe.

Oh.

Charley Rumble makes

a mean apple crumble.

(GROWLS IN AGREEMENT)

And I can make

a strawberry panna cotta

with a pomegranate glaze.

Oh, I like the sound of that.

Don't you, Knuckles?

Yeah!

Come on then,

let's get cooking.

MAN:

If this little proverb

You will understand

You will lend your brothers

a helping hand

Ooh, nice roulade, Spoon.

Thank you, Phibs.

- There you go, Paddington.

- Ooh, Knuckles.

I want those petit fours now!

So whether you agree

Or you shall disagree

You cannot disregard

the truth of this philosophy

Singing life will be easier

Time would be breezier

If you love your neighbor

Excuse me, Professor.

What would Aunt Lucy say?

- "Always use a cake fork."

- Well then.

- Care for a taste, Warden?

- Thank you, Paddington.

So if the choice of a heaven

you wish to party

WARDEN:
Mmm! Butterscotch!

This is an example

you should try to emulate

Resist all temptation,

restrain from strife

I try to live a normal

and an upright life

And this too you must learn

Make the best of what you earn

Strictly learn to leave

your brothers' property alone

And life will be easier,

time will be breezier

If you love your neighbor

(CONTINUE PLAYING MUSIC)

WARDEN:
(ON PA) "...and

it turns out the monster

"wasn't such a monster

after all,

"and they all became

the best of friends.

"The end."

PRISONERS:
Aww.

Uh! Time for bed, you lot.

You need your beauty sleep.

It's visiting day tomorrow.

Visiting day.

I do hope you have good news.

MARY:
In the past month,

these 3 shadowy individuals

have all been seen

snooping round

3 London landmarks.

JUDY:
We think

the thief you saw

is part of a criminal gang.

Using the pop-up book as

a treasure map.

Well, it's a theory.

Have you found out

who they are?

Not yet, dearie.

Maybe I should take a look.

I'm sorry, this is

a private conversation.

Oh, it's all right,

Mr. Brown,

- this is my friend, Knuckles.

- (PRISONERS GREETING)

And this is Phibs. Spoon.

Jimmy the Snitch.

T-Bone. The Professor.

Squeaky Pete.

Double Bass Bob. Farmer Jack.

Mad Dog.

Jonny Cashpoint.

Sir Geoffrey Wilcott.

I hope I can rely

on your vote.

And Charley Rumble.

Oh, it's so wonderful

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