Pagafantas Page #2

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- Manners come first.

Promise you won't breathe.

God, that's f***ing disgusting!

You stink of sh*t!

That was a joke too.

Thanks. I owe you a beer.

OK, let's go.

Now? But this is Wednesday.

Yeah, but here Wednesday

is the new Friday.

Really?

I'm not a hairdresser.

I cut my own hair, but that's all.

You'll get the job.

And you can cut my hair some day.

You mean it?

I need to practice. I've got

a trial in two days time.

Yeah, sure.

If you want, I'll give you

my number, and...

"If you want, I'll give you

my number. F***, man!"

I don't talk like that.

"I don't talk like that."

"if you want, I'll cut your hair,

f*** it."

No, put that down.

We'll drink a toast.

You want limoncello?

Waiter, two shots of limoncello.

I'd an Italian boyfriend

who drank this.

Has it got alcohol?

You've never tried it?

No, alcohol disagrees with me.

- Is it very strong?

- No.

Well...

Yes? Yes, he's still here.

He's getting ready.

Come up, Jaime.

How are you getting on with

uncle Jaime? Isn't he a sweetheart?

Were you awake when I got back?

You smell of...

You weren't drinking, were you?

Did I come back alone or...?

Good morning, family.

How are you?

- I made it myself.

- Let's see.

It's an ashtray.

It's lovely,

but no one smokes here.

Well, maybe Miss Begoa

will decide to start smoking.

And how are you?

You weren't drinking, were you?

Jose Mari,

you have to call Claudia.

What?

Was she here? Where is she?

Your back.

Look behind you.

6, 5, 2...

No, I'll do it later.

Stand still,

it'll get rubbed off.

7 and 2.

- Aren't there numbers missing?

- Wait. Don't sweat.

How can I not sweat?

I don't know if it's a 7 or a 9.

It's got a stroke.

It's a 5,

it's clear as daylight.

5 and 2. Where's the button

for "Save"?

- No, I'll do it.

- I pressed a button and...

F***, you're calling!

Hello?

Claudia?

Remember me? I'm Chema.

- What's she saying?

- Be quiet.

We're closed!

At 8:
00? Perfect, I'll be there.

Where?

Just one thing.

Remember the place?

The one I said.

Do you know how to get there?

Yes, Lamiak,

in the old quarter.

No, in case you didn't remember.

That's great. Ciao.

A kiss for you too, yes.

She called me "baby".

Go home and get dressed up.

No, I'm fine like this.

Don't be silly.

Go home and iron a shirt.

And let me tell you something.

One thing I hate doing

is giving advice,

but if you want to know

if everything's going OK,

if she's keen on you,

when you say goodbye

and you're walking away

see if she turns round

to look at you.

- But that doesn't always work.

- It never fails.

If she turns round,

she's keen on you.

Your mother turned round once

for me.

I say it with all respect.

It was in Plencia,

on regatta day.

Were my mother and you...?

Well, there was a big ad behind me

for a department store

and I don't know if she was...

But

maybe she was looking at me.

Take my advice,

and put on a shirt.

Baby!

- It suits you.

- You've recovered?

- What?

- You left it at my place.

Recovered from what?

I haven't had so much fun

with a guy in ages.

Really?

I think we woke all the neighbors.

We did, didn't we?

Yeah, it was great fun.

You want a drink, or shall we

go to my place and get down to it?

Just like that?

Yes, we talked about it yesterday.

Yes, yes, we talked a lot about it,

so, let's go, shall we?

I'll practice dying your hair.

What?

On me?

No, I can't. In the end I can't,

it's impossible.

But yesterday you said

you'd always wanted highlights.

I'd an Australian boyfriend,

a surfer, and his highlights were...

No, I'd love to, but...

I have to practice for tomorrow.

I've never dyed anyone's hair.

What's so funny?

Don't look now, but...

Don't look!

In Argentina, do you know

a singer called EI Puma?

Sure. My mom's a real fan.

Every time I come here and see

that waiter... Look, over there.

- I can't see him.

- He's gone inside.

He'll come out later.

He's got a hairstyle...

He's like an old version

of EI Puma.

When you see him,

you'll die laughing.

If I have to do highlights

I won't know how to.

You'll do great, I'm sure.

What can I get you?

He's identical!

What's up?

I don't know, I've got no idea.

Yes, you do.

What you said was true.

- What?

- What? I don't know.

She gets these fits of laughing

all on her own.

He's just like El Puma

but an older version.

No, look,

I meant it in a nice way.

For me, EI Puma is

the greatest ballad singer.

He wasn't really like him.

And you told him "Pavo Real"

was your favorite song!

I bet he over-charged us.

You don't want a last drink?

I have to get that job. It's hard

to get work without papers.

You'll do it better

if we have one more.

No, some other day.

Will you call me tomorrow?

"Sh*t, I'll call and tell you

how it f***ing went."

Ciao.

If you want to know

if it went well,

see if she turns round

to look at you.

It never fails.

If she turns round

she's keen on you.

- Where were you going?

- I'm all right.

You were looking at her ass,

weren't you?

No, I wasn't!

You certainly were.

Chema, are you all right?

What happened?

He was just looking at your ass.

I wasn't looking at anything.

I don't mind if you do.

Come on, get up.

But I wasn't looking.

I don't care about your ass!

Don't go that far.

Are you dizzy?

You have to take sugar.

Have you tried hazel nut liqueur?

It looks fantastic!

I'll call you later. Claudia

Associations which do not have

a legal existence,

like legal entities,

have to be considered

as simple civil or religious

associations.

Depending on the reason

they've been instituted.

Hello. Can Rubn Urrutia

come out, please?

What's up?

I think I've scored.

What do you mean?

You have or you haven't.

I don't really remember.

How can you not remember?

I think so, but I'm not sure.

You needn't go back with Elisa,

but spare me this scene.

Oh, God!

- She's a hairdresser.

- A hairdresser?

Not really, but she's illegal

so she works at what she can.

We've met two days, Rubn,

two days.

But I can't remember anything,

anything that matters.

You have to help me.

- You want me to talk to Elisa?

- I don't want back with Elisa.

What do you want?

Follow me tonight.

And tomorrow,

tell me what you saw.

- You're kidding me.

- No, I'm serious.

No, no way,

I'm not going to follow you.

I never remember what I do

when I'm drunk.

Then don't f***ing drink.

I'm meeting her tonight at 10.00.

I'm begging you.

I'm not going to spend

the night watching you.

And you won't find anyone

who will.

Shouldn't we have a password?

You have to be discreet.

An emergency signal

in case anything goes wrong.

A secret password?

Don't get too close.

I won't have to.

I'm well equipped.

What's that?

What do you mean?

It's a Minolta 9000 AF

with a 500 zoom,

like the paparazzi use.

You needn't take photos.

Just tell me what you see.

Is she bringing the old lady?

Did you tell my mother?

I just said we'd go out

for a drive. Don't worry.

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