Paint Your Wagon Page #5

Again?

You haven't been recognised!

I'm Schermerhorn.

-Mr Holbrook.

-Oh, sit down!

Ben, these boys are right.

Mr Holbrook,

I withdraw the proposal.

Have you gone out of your skull?

You can't expect them

to build a two-storey building

-just to get women here.

-Who said two storeys?

Somebody's got to run

the faro tables.

Rotten Luck Willie will.

You can't expect him

to build a fancy building

with chandeliers

and masterpieces of art

and gambling

and six beautiful tarts upstairs.

Ben, we'd have every bummer

for miles around

coming here to spend

his money on women and whisky

at Atwell's and Schermerhorn's.

You think that's bad?

Why, it's terrible!

Just terrible!

You'd turn this camp into a

boom town! We don't want to do that.

-Soon there'd be another saloon.

-And a bawdy house!

-And another gambling hall!

-And another bawdy house!

Why, property

would shoot straight up!

They'd make more money

selling old claims than gold.

These men didn't come

out here to forge a nation!

That's for men with a big dream,

with visions of America's greatness.

Well, I'm warning you,

if you want to turn us into

a dreary boom town metropolis

filled with nothing

but millionaires,

all you gotta do is put up one

little, tiny two-storey... cathouse!

I say let's put it to a vote.

And any man opposed is a traitor!

All those in favour of bringing

prostitution to this camp, say aye!

Aye!

Passed!

Pardner, there's a shifty side to you

that I'm just beginning

to appreciate.

Why can't I go along with you?

Who'll take care of Elizabeth?

It'll take three days

to get them tarts back here.

You don't expect me to leave a feast

like her alone in all this famine?

Who can I trust if it ain't you?

You didn't say being pardners

meant wife-guarding.

Well, it just come up.

-Howdy.

-Captain Barnsfeather, Fort Sumter.

-When does the Sonora stage come?

-About four o'clock tomorrow. Why?

Uh, supplies for the troops.

Unmount!

Come in, Pardner.

You sure I'm not intruding?

Come in.

Will Ben really

get back in three days?

-Why?

-I'd like to know.

Who you expecting for dinner?

You! Sit down.

Oh. Thanks.

I didn't know you was expecting me.

# I talk to the trees

# But they don't listen to me

# I talk to the stars

# But they never hear me

# The breeze hasn't time

# To stop and hear what I say

# I talk to them all

# In vain

# But suddenly my words

# Reach someone else's ear

# Touch someone

else's heartstrings, too

# I tell you my dreams

# And while you're listening to me

# I suddenly see them

# Come true

# I can see us on an April night

# Looking out across a rollin' farm

# Having supper in the candlelight

# Walkin' later arm in arm

# Then I'll tell you

how I passed the day

# Thinking mainly

how the night would be

# Then I'll try to find

the words to say

# All the things you mean to me

# I tell you my dreams

# And while you're listening to me

# I suddenly see them

# Come true #

They're coming out of Starbottle's!

All right! Fall together!

Hey, put me down, you bloody idiot!

Put me down!

Down, down, down, down!

Ow!

That's it! Get in line!

Come on! Come on, move!

Yah! Yah!

Whoa, now! Whoa!

Captain Barnsfeather, Fort Sumter.

At your service, ladies.

Here to protect you along the way!

We're gonna

have to take this detour.

-Detour through open country?

-The road up ahead ain't safe.

-Injuns!

-Ain't no Injuns around here!

Get back in the coach, ladies.

-There's a coach comin' in!

-There's a coach comin' in!

-Comin' in!

-Comin' in!

# There's a coach comin' in

if you listen, you can hear it

# A-clip-cloppin' over the hill

# And the sound that you hear

is as good to your ear

# As the call of

the wild whippoorwill

# There's a coach comin' in

you can feel it gettin' near

# All at once,

and it bursts into view

# And it looks to your eye

like it fell from the sky

# Like a coach

full of dreams come true

# For it's bringin' me

eyes that are moonlight

# And it's carryin' lips

that are wine

# And it's comin'

with arms that are pillows

# And this evening

it all will be mine

# There's a coach comin' in

and you're smellin' like a steer

# Get the soap out,

it ain't far away

# Cut the socks from your feet

cut the socks from your feet

# Rake your hair till it's neat

rake your hair till it's neat

# There's a coach comin' in

# There's a coach comin' in today

# There's a coach comin' in

hurry, hurry, do you hear?

# With a cargo o' joy from Paree

# Drop the tables and chairs

get them beds up the stairs

# And be sure

every lock has a key... #

# For it's coming mit girls

who buy perfume

# Who wear powder

and rouge from Paree

# Who will have to go

somewhere to get them

# And the somewhere to go will be me

# There's a coach comin' in

and it's flyin' like a deer

# Thank the Lord

there's relief on the way

# Thank with all of your hearts,

thank with all of your hearts

# For them half-dozen tarts,

for them half-dozen tarts

# There's a coach comin' in,

there's a coach comin' in today

# There's a coach comin' in

if you listen you can hear it

# A-clip-cloppin' over the hill

# And the sound that you hear

is as good to your ear

# As the call

of a wild whippoorwill... #

# For it's bringin' me eyes

that are moonlight

# And it's carryin' lips

that are wine

# And it's comin' with arms

that are pillows

# And this evening

it all will be mine... #

# There's a coach comin' in

you can feel it gettin' near

# All at once,

and it bursts into view

# And it looks to your eye

like it fell from the sky

# Like a coach

full of dreams come true

# For it's bringin' me

eyes that are moonlight

# And it's carryin' lips

that are wine

# And it's comin'

with arms that are pillows

# And this evening

it all will be mine

# There's a coach comin' in

now it's riding in the clear

# And the sound of it grows to a din

# No, there ain't far to go

# Now they're hollerin' "whoa!"...#

Whoa!

# There's a coach comin' in,

there's a coach comin'

# And it's here #

(# La Marseillaise)

Ben!

Pardner, I wanna talk to you!

Why, you rotten, lecherous,

deceiving, no-good, thieving...

The only reason

I ain't blowing your brains out

is the relief it's gonna give me

when I tear you apart

with my bare hands.

What's the matter with you?

What was the two of you

doing on the same horse?

Riding. What else?

That's the last place I'd...

-Where was HER horse?

-That WAS her horse.

And where... ha ha... was your horse?

You had my horse.

If that's true,

why ain't you fighting back?

Cos you ain't been yourself lately.

That's a widely known fact,

and you know it yourself.

Get up, Pardner.

How's your jaw?

Feels like it's coming off.

You ought to trust me, Ben.

You're right.

You ain't the kind of man to go

lusting after another man's wife,

especially with them six bawds

arriving in town.

That's right, Ben.

I wouldn't do that.

The only kind of feelings

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