Pal Joey Page #3

l've got just the thing.

Second floor front...

next to a young lady--

an actress-- but very refined.

You share a bath.

We do?

She's nice and clean.

ls this what you want?

lt's the closest thing to it.

l don't allow pets, cooking in the room

or guests of the opposite sex...

unless related.

l have several nieces.

That'll be $40 a month

in advance.

You wouldn't have change of

a hundred dollars, would you?

Think l want to get

murdered in my bed?

No, of course. Well,

here's 10, ma'am, on account.

Right. l'll get you some towels.

Thank you.

l'll hurry her up.

- Who is it?

- Mrs. Casey.

l want you

to meet your new neighbor.

- You know each other?

- Mm-hmm.

- What a coincidence.

- lsn't it though?

If you were my girl,

you wouldn't need one of those.

Well, l'm filling it

for Mrs. Casey.

You shouldn't really wear pajamas.

You're definitely the nightgown type.

The shorties.

l'll pay you next week.

You alter that one to fit this good,

l'll send around all my friends.

Never mind sending your friends.

Just send your money.

Hi there, fellow. Bet you wish

you were out here, don't you?

- Well, if it isn't Ned's girl?

- l'm not his girl.

Oh? He told me you were.

l don't want to complain, but you

used all the hot water this morning.

l thought that you

could use a cold shower.

He's a cute fellow, isn't he?

Reminds me of a dog l had when

l was a kid. His name was Snuffy.

l was crazy about him. One day

he got run over by a milk truck.

l haven't been able

to drink milk since.

Wish l could afford to buy him.

Gets a little lonely traveling

around the country all by yourself.

Don't you have to run a song over

with your boyfriend today?

lf you're speaking about Ned,

I told you once and for all he's--

You're just good friends.

That's right.

So long, Snuffy.

By the way, both of us

use a green toothbrush.

One of us is

going to have to change.

Barbary Coast Club. Come right in

and see our sensational girls...

and featuring Joey Evans.

Come on.

- Come on.

- Joey, stop.

When do l get a door

on this broom closet?

You don't. l couldn't

trust you behind a door.

Say, lover boy, where's that big

foIlowing you're supposed to have?

lt takes a little while, Mike.

You got to let the word percolate.

lt better percolate pretty quick.

- Evening, Mr. Megans. Hi, Joey.

- Hi, doll.

Stop over tonight?

l want to show you my hi-fi.

This kid's got

a fine woofer and tweeter.

Hey, Herm.

Like l was saying, Mike, you got

to let the people know l'm here.

Your name's out front, isn't it? What's

the matter? Your public can't read?

Sure, they can read, boss.

Blow up my picture.

You're blown up enough already.

Here are your shirts, Joey.

Just the way you like them, no starch.

What an arrangement.

You bum. ln two weeks you've moved in

on every doll but Gladys and Linda.

Show time!

- Gladys doesn't appeal to me.

- And you don't appeal to Linda.

Oh, no? l got plans for this doll.

Ring-a-ding plans.

This little mouse takes

a special kind of baiting, Mike.

You're wasting your time.

She'll never go for it.

They all do.

lf they asked me

l could write a book

About the way you walk

and whisper and look

I could write a preface

On how we met

So the world would never forget

And the simple secret of the plot

ls just to tell them

That l love you a lot

Then the world discovers

As my book ends

How to make two lovers of friends

Whoever heard of singing a love song

like this without a girl?

Come on.

About the way you walk

and whisper and look

And the simple secret of the plot

ls just to tell them

That l love you a lot

Then the world discovers

Sing.

As my book ends

How to make

Two lovers

Of friends

- Fun, huh?

- lt was wonderful.

How's it feeI

working with a star?

Oh, don't let it go to your head.

Just baiting the trap.

Why, you--

Hey, Linda.

l'm taking a bath.

l'll be out in ten minutes.

Would you like me

to scrub your back?

No, and you needn't bother

peeking through the keyhole.

There's a Band-Aid over it.

How about a nice Sunday dinner?

l'll take you out to the Cliff House,

and we'll have shrimp cocktail...

and a steak and French fries

and a little wine.

You know, the whole mishmash.

Thanks. l can't afford it.

What do you mean you can't afford it?

l'm poppin'.

Why, that's very generous

of you, Joey.

l'd love to.

lt's funny how we both

use the same toothpaste.

Yes, mine.

lt's little things like that

that bring people together.

Look, there's your friend.

Why, he's glad to see you.

Look how he likes you.

lt's just amazing.

l come by and talk to him

every day through the window.

l pretend like he's mine.

You really would like

to own him, wouldn't you?

l'd give my right arm.

- How much is this little terrier?

- Twenty-five dollars.

- Twenty-five bucks?

- We'lI take him.

- Wait a minute. What are you doing?

- No excuses. l made up my mind.

l couldn't let you throw away

all that money on a date with me.

l want you to buy what you really want.

A dog to replace Snuffy.

l don't want the--

What l mean is...

Mrs. Casey wouId never

let me have a dog.

Oh, but she will.

l told her how much it meant to you.

She was touched.

She won't be so touched

when he ruins the rug.

Nonsense. He'll be housebroke

in no time.

- Here you are.

- Thank you.

Here. A dog to replace Snuffy. He's

all yours. You'll never be lonely again.

That'll be $25, mister.

Would you like to take

some worm medicine?

Not if l can help it.

What about dinner? They'll never let us

in the restaurant like this.

Now don't worry about me.

You just run along home with Snuffy.

Look at that.

He's crazy over him.

Yeah, he loves me.

Well, don't Iet it

go to your head.

Bye, Joey. Bye, Snuffy.

Twenty-five bucks

for a mutt like you.

You're not exactly what l expected

to wind up with tonight.

Terrier.

Terrier, my ankle.

Bet you don't even know

who your old man is.

Don't worry about it.

l don't know who mine is either.

That makes us members

of the same club.

Let's see what you know.

Sit up. Roll over.

What a no-talent pooch.

Okay, get some sleep.

Tomorrow we start working.

Teach you some tricks.

No, my little fellow.

Off. O-R-F.

Off!

Here. Come on.

And remember.

The powder room is in the park.

Okay, fatten up.

Snuffy! Don't take it!

- You mustn't do that.

- Why not? The pooch is hungry.

- What? Chicken bones?

- What's wrong with that?

You mean you used

to feed them to Snuffy?

There never really

was a Snuffy, now was there?

There is now.

l guess l played

a dirty trick on you, huh?

Doesn't matter.

He's beginning to grow on me now.

So are you too.

What's with the milk bit?

l says, ""Doc, how long do l have to

sneak in the back and drink this stuff?

lt doesn't Look good

to the customers."'

Hey, Mike, Mrs. Simpson,

the big society dame, just come in.

Mrs. Simpson? ln my place?

Table nine.

Take him for a walk.

That's her. l told you l'd bring her in.

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