Pal Joey Page #4

Wait a minute.

Do me a favor, will you? Let me

handle this. l'm very big with her kind.

- You're pretty big above your ears.

- l'm serious.

Some guys got a system with horses,

and l got a system with dames.

- Hit me.

- lt's a snap.

You treat a dame like a lady,

and treat a lady like a dame.

And underneath those furs,

that is pure dame.

This place was definitely

not recommended by Duncan Hines.

Wouldn't we have more fun bobbing

for apples? Why bring us here?

l've got a little score to settle

with one of the inmates.

Watch Joey lay on the class.

ln the meantime, you stock up

on the caviar and the champagne...

because this dump is going to cater

to nothing but the carriage trade.

Good evening, Mrs. Simpson.

We're honored to have you here.

l'm so pleased to see you came

all the way down from the Nob Hill.

Well, the boy auctioneer.

Won't you join us?

l'd be delighted.

l'm Joey Evans.

- My name's Stanley.

- Mine's Livingston.

Stanley and Livingston.

That's funny.

They have a sense of humor. l like that.

Reminds me of old Dad's.

- Dad's?

- Yes, my father.

He used to tease me about one thing or

another, particularly about my flying.

Your flying?

ln my sports plane.

Oh, l love my life.

There's something you get out of flying

that you get out of nothing else.

Really?

It used to upset him, because

l started when l was quite young.

l'm sure you started very young.

lt was while l was studying aeronautics

and conversational French at Princeton.

That is, before l resigned

to go into the theater.

Pierre!

When is he going to study

conversational English?

Would you bring the folks a bottle

of the best champagne in the cellar?

- Oh, yes. Yes, sir.

- Thank you.

Care for something to eat? They have

a piece of resistance that's great.

No, thank you.

We ate before we came.

Yes, l can't say l blame you.

l must apologize for the crum-- decor.

The man who owns this place

is an old buddy of mine.

We were in the same platoon.

WelI, he wired me for help

when l was in New York.

l quit my job at the Waldorf,

and here l am.

l've always admired men

who were loyal to their friends.

Just between you and me l have been

thinking about opening my own place.

Something very intimate, quiet.

Classy. Maybe have

a quartet of violins.

l'd be there every night.

- You would?

- Mm-hmm.

That's wonderful.

What are we going to call it?

Well, l thought

we'd call it something romantic...

and maybe foreign even.

How about...

Chez Joey?

That's very good. That's perfect.

l like that. lt's even French.

Here we are.

You sure that stuff is old enough

to be out on its own?

Yes, sir, 1950,

a very good year.

May have been a good year for the grape,

but it was a lousy year for M.C.s.

To Chez Joey.

That's what l like.

Champagne that fights back.

Show time.

That's me. Excuse me.

l do a little song

in this show.

It's a lovely love song,

especially for some of my friends.

What is this?

Oh, we were just slumming, beauty,

and we have a lot of spots to make.

What's next, boys? That place where

the young lady dances with the snakes?

So that"s your system, huh?

Guess l tried it

on the wrong mare.

Your system just run out of the money

and so have you. You're through!

You're kiddin'! Don't you know

a phony act when you see it, Mike?

She had to do that with those

two guys along. She'll be back.

Get your things and get out of here

before l wreck my furniture.

Wait, wait, wait. You'll be sorry.

Come here. l want to make you a deal.

lf she doesn't come back by Saturday,

l'll leave without pay.

- You bet you wilI.

- But if she comes back, l stay.

With a raise?

Okay, you got a deal.

Excuse me, madam.

There's a gentleman to see you.

He wouldn't give his name.

When l asked his business, he seemed

to talk a vernacular l couldn't follow.

- Sounds like Superboy.

- l beg your pardon?

Same vernacular. l'lI see him.

You bet you will.

Get rid of the pallbearer.

All right, what is it?

- l dropped in to say good-bye.

- Are you going somewhere?

Yep, away.

lt worked, baby.

l got the old bounceroo.

- l'm through at the end of this week.

- l didn't mean that to happen.

Don't worry your head about it.

l'm sick of this lousy town anyway.

What l really come up here for

is to straighten you out...

so you wouldn't get any wrong ideas

why l made a play for you.

Wouldn't want you to get any cockeyed

impressions that you appeal to me.

The only thing about you that

appeals to me is your M-U-N-Y, money.

- Do l make myself clear?

- Crystal clear.

By the way...

if you knew what you were throwing away,

you'd cut your throat.

Oh, Mr. Evans?

Have you had lunch?

Thank you, Mrs. Simpson,

but l have a luncheon date with a dog.

Okay, it's lunchtime. Come on.

There you go.

Come on, boy.

l know it's not chopped liver,

but you eat what l eat...

for the time being, anyway.

Here. Try this bagel.

Hey, the fingers are mine. Easy.

You ought to try that with

cream cheese and lox. lt's great.

You stick with me,

you'll learn nothing but bad habits.

Okay, it's time for your lessons.

Let's see what you've learned.

We'll begin with the praying bit.

That always gets them.

And while you're at it, pray that

Mrs. Simpson remembers to show up.

Lover boy.

You're gonna love it on the road.

Joey, it's Linda.

May l come in?

Yeah, sure, come in.

Make yourself at home.

Gladys says you're leaving.

Yeah, that's right.

l got a wire from Hollywood.

Why didn't you tell me?

Why should l?

You don't care what happens to me.

Well, of course l do.

All the girls do.

l don't care about

all the girls, baby.

l just care about you.

Do you mean that, Joey,

or is it just an act?

Of course l mean it.

We're sure gonna miss her,

aren't we, Snuffy?

l'm gonna miss you too.

l'm very fond of Snuffy.

Why don't the three of us

have supper tonight?

Show business

is a funny business.

We may never run into each other again.

Tonight could be our last night.

All right, Joey.

l'll change my things.

l'll take you out to the Cliff House,

and we'll have shrimp cocktail...

and steak and French fries

and a little wine.

You know, the whole mishmash.

Mind the store.

l'll finish your laundry, Joey.

You can pick it up later.

Gee, l sure am gonna miss you.

l'm gonna miss you too, doll.

Your flatwork is a gasser.

l hear you got

the old bounceroo, big shot.

lf you mean that you heard l was

leaving, you got it straight.

l'm on my way to New York,

El Morocco.

Are you kiddin'?

The only way you could get to Morocco

is to join the Foreign Legion.

Funny! Funny!

- Here's some scraps for your dog, Joey.

- Thank you, chef.

- Don't mention it.

- Dog, my foot. He eats them himself.

Why not? lt's good stuff.

Would you care to join us, sloppy?

Take it easy.

Don't get excited.

- Mrs. Simpson !

- Good evening.

- Won't you come in?

- Oh, am l too late?

You? Never!

l'm in the mood

for a little entertainment.

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