Palm Springs Weekend Page #4

No.

In the meantime, you're not adverse

to the experiences yourself.

Hey, look, I won't be an MD

for another seven years.

That's a long time to hold hands.

In other words, the girl you have an

affair with can never be the girl you marry.

Hey, how did we get

on this subject anyway?

Hi. Hi, Bun.

Ruthie. How did you get mixed up

with this crowd?

I met this basketball player.

They must be very popular this week.

I met one too.

Jim, Ruthie.

- Hi.

- Hi.

- Mine's the captain of the team.

- Shh!

That's funny, so is mine.

Pardon me while I drown myself.

We share the honors.

Kind of co-captains.

I'm having some kids over to the house.

Love to have you two.

- Sounds great.

- Fine.

If there's anyone you'd like to invite,

they're welcome.

But if you bring a gang,

bring some extra food.

- Will do.

See you tonight.

- Bye.

- So long.

I've been reading for two hours.

I'm getting a little tired.

Okay, forget the book.

Teach me some more judo.

You're supposed to take a nap.

Flip me once more, and I'll go upstairs.

- Word of honor?

- You got it.

Okay. Come up behind me and make out

like you're gonna strangle me.

Okay.

Oh, for heaven's sakes.

Shh.

What are you, some kind of lunatic?

Okay, everybody out. Here we go.

Bring the sandwiches.

Step it up. It's party time.

Watch your head. Watch your head.

Hey, let me know when it's Thursday.

Hi.

- Hey, welcome to Shangri-la.

Hope you don't mind.

We brought friends.

The more the merrier.

Come on in, everybody.

How'd you ever get your mom's okay?

I didn't. She and Dad

went to Vegas for a few days.

Now, look, there's beer and soft drinks

in the kitchen.

The bedrooms are off-limits.

If you wanna go in the pool,

you have to wear a suit.

You didn't tell me

this was going to be a formal affair.

But of course.

Don't worry about us.

We'll introduce ourselves.

All you guys with food,

follow me to the kitchen.

Put the food on the counter over there.

Put the beer in the tub over here.

Put all the food on the counter.

Food on the counter.

Watch my pyramid. Watch it, now.

- Hi.

- Don't touch me.

All I said was hi.

Now, cut that out.

I only wanted to apologize

for this afternoon.

No apology necessary, I assure you.

I understand, and all is forgiven.

Good night.

Now, just a minute.

You lay one hand on me,

so help me, I'll make a scene.

Well, I was only trying to get acquainted.

Well, I'm very flattered.

But believe me, I don't think

there could ever be anything between us.

I'm not in good enough shape.

- Well, you can dance, can't you?

- Not a step.

I don't believe you.

- Now, would I lie to you?

- Yes.

Oh. No, I wouldn't either.

Last summer I injured both knees

mountain climbing.

And I can't do a thing with them. Look.

Look at that. Do you expect a man

to dance in that condition?

Good night.

- Ooh! Ooh!

- Now, listen, this is getting embarrassing.

Come on, let go of the arm.

People are looking. Come on.

I've never had to beat a man

into dancing with me.

- But there's always a first time.

- Okay, okay, I'm dancing.

See? Look.

Come on. At least let me lead.

- Mm-hm.

- Okay. Oh! Ooh! Ooh!

You know, my daddy grows

the biggest chickens in Harmony.

They are so big that we have to build

separate barns for each.

Move on, cowboy.

The lady asked me to sit down.

- Get lost.

- Eric, please.

Don't push me, mister.

Well, now, is this where

we slap leather, cowboy?

Or would you be satisfied

with a few loose teeth?

I don't know where you was raised...

...but where I come from,

we don't start fights in other folks' homes.

I didn't mean to spoil your good time.

I'm sorry, ma'am.

Young feller.

Eric, let's dance. Come on.

Fred, Tom, Jerry, Louie,

you come with me.

The rest of you guys go in the back.

You're off-limits.

There's beer in the kitchen.

Who are you, chickie?

Well, I live here. It's my party.

In that case,

let me pour you a shot of your booze.

- Please put that away.

- Come on, come on, now.

You don't wanna be a stiff

at your own party.

Look, there's plenty of beer

in the kitchen.

Why don't you behave like the others?

Because I'm not

like the others, chickie.

Now, you have a little taste, huh?

Come on, you have a little taste.

- Excuse me, Bunny.

Come on, chickie, drink.

Come on, chickie, you have a little taste.

You have a taste.

Well, now, who do we have here?

- You and your friends better leave.

- They'll leave.

They'll leave when I say.

I'm not ready yet.

I guess you didn't understand me.

I'm telling you to leave.

- Huh?

- Get out!

Well, you put it like that,

I guess we'll have to leave.

Beautiful bar, isn't it?

- What are you looking at, funny face?

- Hi.

Don't worry, baby. Just stay behind me.

Anything you say, sweetie.

Come on, blondie, wanna play?

Come on, let's play.

Huh, chicken? Come on, let's play.

I'm gonna mess up

that pretty blond face of yours now.

Ah, ah, ah. Careful. Careful.

Watch those pretty blue eyes, baby.

Careful, now.

Who needs this?

All right.

- All right.

Oh, no.

Stay right where you are.

This party's all finished.

Line up, line up.

Line up. Come on, line up.

What do you think this is anyway?

Come on, let's shape up.

We're taking you all. This is a 10-4.

We're all- You're gonna... Ahem.

Watch him. Watch him.

Bu-

I can explain everything, Father.

Father?

He must be the police chaplain.

Are you his daughter?

- Yes.

- Yipe!

You, hold it down.

Sergeant, send them in. One at a time.

Yes, sir.

Let's start with you.

I refuse to say anything

till I speak with my mother.

On your feet.

- Nobody home.

- Ah, ah.

- After you, lieutenant.

- In.

Aren't you going to question me?

I thought I would spare us both

that humiliation.

Now, Dad. Dad.

I told you to go back to your motel.

I know,

but I got to explain about Bunny.

My daughter doesn't need your explanation.

Stay away from her.

- You understand?

- Yes, sir, but it's-

You are confined to your home and

you're not to leave without my permission.

Now, get in the car.

But, Dad, don't I get to explain

about anything?

Your actions tonight

leave little need for explanation.

Now get in.

- What are you doing?

- Good morning, Mrs. Yates.

When I gave you kitchen privileges,

I didn't expect all of this.

What have you got there?

Wheat germ.

Tiger's milk.

Vitamins.

Cod-liver oil.

- And liver extract.

- Liver...

How do they know they're eating oatmeal

with all that glop in it?

Well, that's what gives them

their bounce.

They've got plenty of that already.

Now get out of here, I've got work to do.

Sure you wouldn't like wheat germ

in orange juice?

Oh, no. No, thank you.

The only thing I ever put

in my orange juice is gin.

- Gin?

- Oh, uh, doctor's orders.

- You have some kind of a condition?

- Oh, no.

No, me and my doctor

just like to get drunk together.

Oh, yeah.

Of course, it just gives me an appetite.

And with a figure like mine...

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