Palm Springs Weekend Page #5

...who needs it?

Well, Mrs. Yates, you've got...

...some nice little figure there,

if you ask me.

Hey.

You can get germs from doing that.

Where is that flea-brain I hired

to take care of you?

Still asleep, I guess.

My first day in Palm Springs,

I end up in jail.

Wonder where this one will lead to.

Well, to another party, if you like.

Where? Where? Who?

Eric's giving me a night on the town...

...and he told me

I could invite the guests.

He says he's got a special surprise

for later on in the evening.

It must be love.

Be nice if it was, but...

- I don't know, I guess you never know.

- Well, at least you get a shot at it.

Don't you?

Not me.

For some reason, all men tell me

I remind them of their brothers.

I don't believe that.

- Well, it's true.

- Ah!

Not that I can understand it.

But look at me.

What more can a man ask for?

I'm strong, I'm healthy, good teeth.

- You're a very pretty girl.

- What makes you think so?

Well, you got a real cute figure

and you got awfully pretty legs, you...

Wait a second.

Come on.

- Get right down here, lady.

- What are you gonna do?

I am going to make a new woman

out of you.

Well, I can't knock that.

Go, with my blessings.

- Hey, Boom-Boom, where's the laundry?

- Over there next to the driveway.

Oh, thank you, Boom-Boom. Oh...

Aah!

Hey, what's the big idea?

I'm getting tired of being pushed

in this pool.

Have you and Amanda

got some kind of bet going?

Oh, boy, all the clothes

are sinking to the bottom.

Don't just stand there laughing,

you crazy kid.

Boy, wait till my mother sees this.

Are you gonna get it.

Am I gonna get it?

We gotta stop this. Go get help.

Why? We got the only pool in town

with a head on it.

Turn off the waterfall. Do something.

Jim!

Jim!

Jim!

Did you blow your stack?

This is no place to do your laundry.

Never mind the jokes.

Get me out of here

before Mrs. Yates finds out.

Give me your hand.

- Biff, Biff, Biff.

- Jim, Jim, Jim.

It's okay, Biff, you're

all right. I got you.

You all right?

Hey, mister, where you going?

- Maybe I'd better come back later.

- No, they're just cleaning the patio.

- Go right ahead.

- Okay.

You okay, Biff? Feel better?

Yeah, thanks a lot, Dr. Jekyll.

Hey, dig the crazy snow.

- Bombs away.

- Yeah.

How clever of Mrs. Yates

to add that extra touch.

Last one in is a rotten egg.

Oh, honey, you missed the pool!

What in the world is this?

This is the biggest

Alka-Seltzer I've ever seen.

Oh, I can see

Boom-Boom's fine hand in this.

- Boom-Boom!

- Now, don't lose your temper, Mrs. Yates.

Did you call me, Mom?

Oh, when I get my hands on you...

Look out, Mom,

you're headed for the pool.

Maybe he's telling the truth, Mrs. Yates.

I wouldn't trust that kid

for all the tea in China. Come on.

No, I tell you, we can't arrest anybody

for making bubbles.

There's nothing in the books about it.

Well, get the fire department

to go in there and hose the place down.

Bubbles.

A pool full of bubbles.

You haven't touched

your orange juice, dear.

I put this in his orange juice.

Dad, may I please talk to you

about what happened last night?

I've already told you the matter is closed.

I don't understand how it can be closed

when it was never opened.

Aren't you interested

in knowing how it started?

- Not in the least, I know how it finished.

- But you don't know the circumstances.

The circumstances are

that the daughter of the chief of police...

...was arrested last night.

I intend to see

that it doesn't happen again.

You're not really going to keep me

under house arrest?

You don't think I enjoy

doing that sort of thing, do you?

Right at this moment, yes, I do.

Put that away.

All right, all right. You're on probation.

You may go about your business,

but stay away from that boy.

- Oh, but he didn't have any...

- Ahem.

I mean...

Excuse me. Whatever you say, Dad.

Teenagers. Boys. Bubbles.

I wish you wouldn't excite yourself, dear.

Bunny explained everything to me,

and I think she's perfectly innocent.

- Oh, you do, do you?

- Yes.

As a matter of fact, I think

the whole incident is sort of funny.

Well, I'm not surprised.

What do you mean?

I switched orange juice with you

this morning.

Good morning.

- Hi.

- I was hoping I'd see you today.

- Oh?

- Sit down.

- Thanks.

Here, you can have your breakfast

while I serenade you on the guitar.

No, thanks. I'm afraid

I wouldn't appreciate it this morning.

You're worried about

what happened last night, huh?

They really made a mess

out of that girl's home, didn't they?

Sure did.

What happened to your hand?

You didn't break anything?

Oh, no, it'd take more than a little

banty-rooster fight to bust my hand.

We used to have

some real dandies back home.

We used to fight for months at a time,

taking off for Sunday naturally.

You know, my folks

didn't take much to fighting on Sunday.

They must be really neat, huh?

I'd like you to meet my daddy.

Now, he's a real character.

He's always joking with folks.

Man asked him one time, says:

"Mr. Fortune,

what kind of work do you do? "

He says, "Well, son," he says,

" I'm an old Indian fighter. "

- Really?

- Mm-hm. " I fight old Indians. "

Oh, silly.

Yeah, I feel like going back sometimes.

Just shaking Hollywood once and for all.

- Don't you like Hollywood?

- Well, it's not that.

It just seems like

I run into a lot of phonies.

And one thing I can't stomach's a phony.

I don't see why people

just don't act natural.

Just quit pretending all the time.

Maybe they feel

that people won't like them as much...

...if they don't pretend a little bit.

That don't cause them

to put on airs, does it?

Look, I think they'd be a lot better off

if they'd just act natural.

Yeah, well...

Look, let's talk about you, huh?

One of the kids says

that you go to school in Hawaii.

I don't wanna bore you

with all the facts.

- Come on.

- It was very dull, honest.

Look, there's nothing about a pretty

little Hawaiian girl that could be dull.

You might be very surprised

if you got to know me.

I'd like to. How about tonight?

I'm sorry.

I'd really love to, Stretch,

except I got another date tonight.

- The big spender.

- Yep.

Kind of take it you don't care for him.

In a word, no.

I don't think he's the kind of guy

you ought to be going out with.

You don't-?

Let me tell you something, my dear.

I am old enough

to take care of myself, thank you.

You know, when you get mad,

you remind me of a very little girl.

A what?

I reckon I'll be moseying along

before you hit me with my own guitar.

Yes. Mm-hm.

All right, men, now,

listen and listen good.

Now, again.

If anybody asks us

what we want to drink tonight...

...what are we going to say?

Milk.

And if anybody should offer us

a cigarette to smoke...

...what are we gonna say?

No, thank you.

And if we happen to find ourselves

in the company of a beautiful young lady...

...who says

she's just dying to dance all night...

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