Parenthood Page #6

---

they started slipping on his guts, too

After I blow a hole in somebody

and slip around on their guts,

afterwards,

I always like to

make balloon animals

That's mighty

courteous of you

Here we god

What's he doing?

I don't know

Your lower intestines

Watch out, you little varmints!

Why, you! You darned kids!

Why, you little lily-livered

lumps of cat meat!

Where's Cowboy Gil?

Where'd he go?

Ambush, you little

four-footers

And here it is It's made

with a quart of milk,

two cups of sugar

and three cow pies

Come on and get it

Will you get down off the

horse before you hurt yourself?

Honey, I got to make

a big exit

That's Cowboy Gil's woman

Take a bow, little lady

Hi Hi

I sure hope that when I

mosey back this way one day,

you don't mind

if I stop in and say hello

Well, I got to be moseying

on back to Abilene

Keep your powder

and your pants dry

Kevin, I hope this is the best

danged birthday you ever had

Adis, buckaroos

Giddy-up, Thunder Thighs!

Adis, buckaroos Don't try

and follow me to Abilene

Good night, sweetheart

Good night, Mom

Did you have

a nice birthday?

Dad was funny

He sure was

Well, good night,

nine-year-old boy

Happy birthday, kiddo

Dad?

Yeah?

When I grow up,

can I work where you work?

Why?r

That way we can still

see each other every day

Good night

I love you

I love you, too

Mom?n

Hubba-hubba

Garry?n

Garry?r

Let me out of here,

mango face!

Hello, Helen?h

Oh, the door was unlocked

Oh, my God!'

What channel is this?

No, Gran, this is a tape

She needs a mana

Nowi

Gran, this isn't mine

I don't watch this

What's everybody

doing in here?

Did you break

my lock?

Susie, Gran, would you

please go to my room?

Sure

One of those men reminded me

of your grandpa God bless him

Garry, listen to me

How could you break my lock?

I came in here because I

was afraid you were on drugs

Why would you think that?

Because of what you did

to your father's offices

What do you mean?

He found your hammer

You know, those were your

initials burned into the handle

Someone must have taken it

Oh, Garry, just

Honey, you know,

all these feelingsa

You're right to have

all these feelings

You're a great kid

You're a great kid, honey

You just got a lousy dadt

And you've just got to learn

to say, "The hell with him!"

Actually, that's good

advice for both of us

The hell with him!

I don't know what to say

about the tapes

You know, I assume that, you know,

you're watching these because

you're curious about sex,

you know,

or filmmaking,

Is there anything

you'd like to ask?

Who?

Me

No, I don't blame you

What about Uncle Gil?

He's busy

with his own kids

Hi

Hic

Where's my wife?

She's still at school

She's got cheerleading practice Bitchin'

So what's up?

Would you like

to speak to Tod?

Can I speak frankly,

no holds barred?

Pleased

That is one messed-up

little dude

You sure

we can talk straight?

All rightu

A few months ago,

Garry got his first boner

You know what that is?h

If memory servest

Great! Anyway,

since then he's beenn

uh,,

slapping the salami

No offense

Noe

Apparently, he's going

for a world record

Chicken's burning

Oh!-

Ohu

Damn! That looked

good, tool

Anyway,'

he was afraid there was something

wrong with him, you know?

Like he was a pervert

or somethingg

I told him that's what little

dudes do We've all done it

That made him happyo

Garry was happy?

Yeah,

he even smiled

I never even knew

he had teethm

I guess a boy Garry's age

really needs a man around

Yeah, well,

it depends on the man

I had a man around

He used to wake me up in the morning

by flicking lit cigarettes at my head

"Hey, a**hole, get up

and make me breakfast"

You know, Miss Buckman, you need a

license to buy a dog or drive a car

Hell, you need a license

to catch a fish,g

but they'll let any

butt-reaming a**hole be a father

Well, I'm gonna

pick up Julie They're hassling her

about her hairl

She does look

kind of stupida

I don't know what

we were thinking about

Tod?

Thanks

Kevin wants to goe

How did you go through

those quarters so fast?

Another kid took Kevin's money Shut up!

What kid? Never mind

Never mind Can we just go?

It was that kid

Never mind!

That kid? That kid's not bigger

than you Go back and get your money!

Dad, let me

handle it, okay?

Kevin, do you want me to

help you get your money back?

No, can we just go?

I wanna go!o

Okay

"Okay"?r

Now, that's a little kid

Justin can beat up that kid!k

Shut up, Dad

Will you just shut up?t

Oh, no!g

What's the matter?

I lost my retainer!u

Where?

Shh Honey

It's okays

I put my retainer

on the tablem

Just relax Kevin, it's okay, honey

It's his retainer

He lost his retainer

It's all right, sweetheart

Come on, sweetie We'll find it

Oh, God!

Here, let me

Where are the kids?g

Your folks are

driving them home

They'll wait with them

at our houset

Oh, that's just what Kevin

needs, time alone with my dad

Yuck! Let's just goe

Gil, they're $200

If you dropped $200 in here,

you'd look, right?

Yeah,

Let's face it

He's getting worsen

He has his good days,

and he has his bad days

Why is he so high-strung?

He's like a poodle

Everything's blown

out of proportion

Where does he get

this obsessive behavior?

I wish I knewe

They're gonna put him

in special edr

Gil, what did you think?g

That you'd dress up like a

cowboy and coach Little League,t

and Kevin would be fine?y

No

I mean, no, I didn'tr

Yeah Yeah, okay, I didt

Well, honey, you were

really kidding yourself

You know, when your kid is

born, it can still be perfectt

You haven't made

any mistakes yet

And then they grow up

to be likeh

Like mea

Oh, I'm gonna be home

late tomorrow How come?

I'm attempting

to dazzle Dave

I'm trying to put together

a major income-property thing

for one of our

bigger clients

Has Dave said anything?h

Thursday when I left for

Little League, he said,

"Let's all thank Gil

for stopping by"

I didn't take it

as a good sign,

Well, let's just wait and see You

know, worrying isn't gonna help

God, I'm so tense

You're tense

right now, honey?e

My back is tense

My neck is tense

My ears are tense It's like

they're hot or something

Maybe I can do something

to help you relaxi

I doubt it, honeym

I'd like to tryh

I am so sorrye

It's all right, honey It was my fault

You just kind of took me by surprise

So how did this happen?

Show him, honeya

It's awfully late, Frank We

need to get Cool right to bed

He'll be all rightt

Hi, Dad

Take the boy inside

I couldn't resist I had to take it

out for a spin It purrs like a kitten

You're probably wondering why I

took it out without telling you

I wanted to have it appraised so

that you'd know how much it was worth

Only they can't appraise it

unless they have all the paperwork,

the registration, the proof of

purchase You've got those things around?

I'm not a schmuck!d

You were going to

sell my car

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes