Patti Cake$ Page #5

---

Okay. Slow it down. Please.

P. B. N. J.

That was great.

Did you get it?

P... PBNJ, P-PBNJ

PBNJ, P-PBNJ

Peanut

butter to the Wonder...

Listen to me.

F***ing Streisand.

PBNJ, P-PBNJ

Check this out.

It's the Ritz cracker I...

Sh*t.

Like Jagger in a...

Jaguar. I...

Again.

Uh, uh, uh...

Check this out.

It's the Ritz...

No. Sh*t.

Hey. Come here.

Stop with the pussyfooting

around

and gimme some limmies...

Superstar.

Come on, you got this.

Go on.

PBNJ, P-PBNJ

PBNJ, P-PBNJ

Peanut

butter to the Wonder Bread

Jam to the Smucker's

Like some impotent dads

We some bad motherfuckers

PBNJ, P-PBNJ

PBNJ, P-PBNJ

It's the Ritz cracker

I go hard swagger is Viagra

I roll stoned through Jersey

Like Jagger in a Jaguar

I pull strings like Santana

At the Copacabana

Tony Montana meets Soprano

In a pink bandana

I wax that ass Like a

Brazilian Make a million hits

Rick Rubenesque I'm fresh to

death Or 'til I'm filthy rich

Big boned Joan Jett

With the Black Heart

White Trish is the ish

Live from The Black Shack

Like a Tampax

We up in this b*tch

The P is for the posse

The B is for the bells

NJ are the letters

Of the state where we dwell

Straight out the Gates of Hell

All day every day

Yo, Nana, tell the world

our motherfucking name, we're

PBNJ, P-PBNJ

PBNJ, P-PBNJ

Peanut butter

To the Wonder Bread

Jam to the Smucker's

Like some impotent dads

We some bad motherfuckers

PBNJ we be forming

Just like we Mighty Morphin'

The crew is up in the cut

Huh, Neosporin

I flip words like Vanna White

Behind the Wheel of Fortune

I'm looking gorgeous In a

corset At The Source Awards'n

I run this sh*t like Forrest

23, scoring like Jordan

The plates are foreign Four on the

floor 'Til four in the morning

I'm in a purple Porsche on

A cordless eating swordfish

The Fab Four, they adore us

So Jheri, sing that chorus

Mr. Lover-Lover

Take a bubble bath

In my hovercraft

Let me go down under

On your Thundercat

Got my stash in your underwear

With the rubber band

Put the cash in the duffle bag

Patti, talk some trash

The P is for the posse

The B is for the bells

NJ are the letters

Of the state...

You wanna get back

in the car, lunatic?

All day every day

Yo, Nana, tell the world

Our motherfucking name, we're

PBNJ, P-PBNJ

PBNJ, P-PBNJ

PBNJ:

Patti, Basterd,

Nana and Jheri

Going hard in the paint

Like Picasso

Painting masterpieces

Masterpieces

Masterpieces

Masterpieces

Sh*t, Ma, not another DUI.

Nana, we're home now.

Went down to the crossroads

Fell down on my knees

Down on my knees

Down to the crossroads

Fell down on my knees

Down on my knees

I axe the Lord above for mercy

"Save me, if you please"

You all right, Ma?

Well, you're home early.

What the hell's goin' on here?

Just jammin'

with Officer Nichols.

He's teachin' me their set.

Yeah, that's an old number

called The Crossroad Blues.

Clapton version.

You know, Patricia here

doesn't like real music.

- She's a rapper.

- Damn straight, I am.

Yeah, so which one are you,

a Blood or a Crip, Latifah?

C'mon,

what's the matter with you?

They're thugs, all of 'em.

It's everything that's wrong

with this country right now,

if you axe me.

Come over here,

I'll teach ya some real music.

Come on, we'll play some blues.

Where you goin', Patricia?

Oh, this I like.

You're gonna get me dancin'.

Yes. Yes, no,

I'm free Tuesday night.

Okay. Black tie, black pants.

Yeah, no, that's perfect.

Okay. Great.

No, thank you. Thanks.

You're a bad b*tch.

Swet F.M.

DJ French Tips on your dial,

makin' the tri-state

fly straight.

That was an exclusive

from Yung Nurple,

the newest signee

to Emerald City...

This needs

to be broken down, or set up?

What're we doin'?

- Ah, yes.

- Hi, sir.

Okay. Joanie had, uh...

well, an emergency,

so I am going to...

give you one chance.

You're gonna be on your feet

eight to ten hours. You can...

- Yes. Of course. Yes.

- You can do that?

Okay. No chitchat,

no attitude.

I want a big smile plastered...

Very good...

on that face, all night,

just like that.

Yes, sir. Of course,

you can count on me.

Very good.

This'll help get you in shape.

Okay. So I know you're

curious why I called you here.

I have some good news.

Spit it out, already.

So, this Albanian dude,

Benzo, right?

He comes into the pharmacy

all the time.

I hook him up

with some Cialis, no biggie.

We're shooting the sh*t,

and he tells me

he manages Cheeters,

the gentlemen's club

off of Route Four,

and they just so happen to be

looking for some live music

to go with their live dancing.

So, I hustled him

into booking us,

P, B, N, Motherfuckin' J,

in three weeks for a record

release show at Cheeters.

Bam! I'm a baller.

Really, Jheri? A titty bar?

It's PG-13 sh*t.

Bikini tops, boy shorts.

Totally family friendly.

Yeah, but we only got one song.

So we go all in. You have

notebooks full of songs, P.

- How badly do you want this?

- Real f***in' bad.

Exactly.

So we record our asses off.

Then we wallpaper the town

with flyers.

And then we kill the show.

Man, once the buzz spreads,

this dump is in the rearview

on a highway

to greener pastures, baby.

What do you think, Nana?

My calendar's pretty empty.

That's what's up!

All right,

all those in favor say "aye."

Aye.

Aye.

I'm not entertaining perverts

who objectify women.

Come on.

Let's wake up the sheep.

Yes.

To The Gates of Hell!

Hunger Gamez

Hustling through them

Hunger pangs

Hunger Gamez

Hustling through them

Hunger pangs

Patricia Dombrowski,

this is your final warning.

If the outstanding balance

is not paid,

we will seek legal action.

Thank you. Have a nice day.

Hunger Gamez

There's no need to sleep

Hunger pangs

Hunger Gamez

When you live the dream!

Hunger pangs

Hunger Gamez

Haters rest in peace

Hunger pangs

Hunger Gamez

Patti, you a beast!

Hunger Gamez,

I'm hungry, mang

Stomach rumbling,

Hunger pangs

I'm an underdog

In the Thunderdome

With no novocaine

To numb this pain

I burn like a DuraFlame

Just like a Hurricane Patti

Making it rain champagne

I'm breakin' my ass just

To bring home the bacon bits

Shaking that sh*t right into

The piggy bank

Craving that paper

all day, slaving away

Grind from the cradle

To grave

And I'm made in the shade that

They throw my way

Like Sinatra

Count my focaccia, eh

Young blue-eye'd b*tch

In blue suede

Do-rags to riches dues paid

Dude, I won't stop 'til I'm

Top of that

food chain coppin'

- Dombrowski.

- Yes, sir.

Well, well,

I had my reservations,

but you held up pretty good.

- Thank you.

- Yeah.

- Maybe this is your calling.

- Maybe it is.

Ah. You still need to throw

out all the garbage.

- Okay.

- Mop the floor. Load the van.

- Yes, sir! Will do.

- All right.

- Thank you.

- Maybe next time.

Yes.

Let's go, guys.

Today, not tomorrow.

Patti, you a beast

We, we livin' the dream

We livin' the dream

We, we livin' the dream

Ya

No need to sleep

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes