Pawn Shop Chronicles Page #2

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kick his f***ing ass?

Shut the f*** up.

We gonna come back and

kick your f***ing ass!

Oh, sh*t! F***, man!

You guys are f***in' mean, man.

Yeah, so we just wanna borrow

your gun for a couple of hours

and we'll bring it right back.

Get the f*** outta here.

What the f***, man?

I can't believe that f***-mouth

slammed the door in my face.

I should've kicked his ass. That's

what I should've f***ing done.

- Yep.

- Dumb motherf***er.

Hey..

Didn't we borrow his

lawn mower one time

and then we sold it

instead of taking

it back to him?

I want that machine back

tomorrow, you understand?

Yeah, yeah, you got it.

You got it.

Thanks, Mr. Don.

Huh.

Oh.

- No wonder he's so f***ing pissed.

- Yeah.

Hey, man, I've gotta

ask you something.

Yeah? What is it?

Look, don't be giving

me no bullshit about

how you can't believe I don't

know and stuff, though, okay?

Fine. What is it?

I'm serious, man. You can't

be calling me dumb-ass.

For f***'s sakes, all right.

Okay, we've been in the

Aryan Confederacy now

for about a year, right?

- Yeah. Uh-huh.

- Okay.

There's one thing I

don't understand.

Would you just spit

it out, Raw Dog?

Man, you're freaking me out.

- F***.

- Okay. Okay.

I understand

why we're supposed to

hate n*ggers, okay.

- Yeah.

- They look different,

they walk different,

they talk different.

I get it, okay.

But Jews, man..

Why are we supposed

to hate the Jews?

I just found out Jerry

Springer was a Jew.

Jerry f***ing Springer, man.

If I seen him in the street,

I would kiss his ass

and ask him for an autograph.

I got three Adam

Sandier DVDs at home

and I just found out

he's a Jew, too.

If I was in a building and

10 Jews sit down next to me,

I wouldn't even know it.

So what's the difference?

They got money? Well,

money ain't so bad.

Sh*t, I wish I had some money.

They got big noses.

At least they're supposed to.

Damn Teddy's got a

nose that's bigger

than this whole damn truck

and he ain't Jewish.

So, what, are we

supposed to hate him?

For crying out loud.

Jesus is a Jew, man.

I mean, we're talking Jesus.

We go to church every Sunday

and we pray to the

King of the Jews, man.

Well?

Now you listen

and you listen good.

If you repeat this,

so help me God..

I will run your ass over, too.

I don't know, either,

man, alright?

I don't know, either.

I mean, hell, I don't

even hate black people.

Tyrone and Bert are some

of my best buddies.

- You know them, right?

- Yeah, man. They're cool, too.

Yeah.

I mean, do you know

how awkward it is

when I got to leave

the card game early

to go to my white

supremacist meeting?

I mean, they seem to understand,

but, hell, it's just..

The only reason I started

going in the first place

is 'cause Greg's wife puts

out that little buffet table

with them meatballs and

them little smoky wieners.

- Yeah, them are good, too.

- Hell, yeah, they're good. F***.

Next thing I know, I'm

going to every meeting,

you know.

Full-blown member. Got

the tats and everything.

So we're pretty much on

the same page, then.

Sounds like it.

We ain't even really white

supremacists at all, are we?

Guess not.

Should we still be going

to them meetings, Randy?

Them little smoky

wieners sure are good.

- Yeah, they're pretty good, alright.

- Yeah.

They are good.

Oh, sh*t!

What the f***?!

- Oh!

- Sh*t!

Hey.

Huh?

What is that? A bow?

Yeah, it's a bow. Let's get it.

What are we gonna get that for?

We gonna rob Stanley with it.

He's taking a..

- Hey!

- Hey.

Oh, sh*t! Come on, let's go.

Come on, Raw Dog.

Come on, man.

Hey!

Take a guy's bow like that?

F***ing prick.

Hey, see you later

there, cheese dick.

Yeah, Raw Dog! Yahoo!

Sh*t.

That motherf***er.

You okay?

I don't think so.

What happened to you?

This bastard ran me over.

Run over and left for dead, huh?

Yeah.

Take you to a hospital?

I don't wanna go

to the hospital.

I wanna find those

backstabbing cocksuckers.

Revenge, huh?

That's a dangerous word.

It's appropriate,

though, I guess.

You don't look familiar.

You from around here?

Just passing through.

You sure I can't take

you to a hospital?

No.

I know where them

f***ers is gonna be.

I plan on meeting them there.

Only problem is I

pawned my shotgun.

I see.

Give me a second.

Now..

I can't take you there..

But I can offer you this.

- You'd give me your gun?

- I ain't giving you my gun.

I'm offering you salvation.

What the f*** happened

to you back there, huh?

Froze up like a retard.

I can't have you doing

that sh*t in there.

I seen something.

What?

I'd rather not say.

Remember when we was

talking on the phone,

I told you I'd been

up for three days

and I started seeing

some weird sh*t?

Just tell me what you seen.

An army of naked zombie women.

An army of naked zombie women?

Dear God, are you

f***ing losing it?

First Elvis, now this?

What the.. man, pull

your sh*t together, man.

- We got a job to do.

- I know, man.

That's what I'm saying. Is

this such a good f***ing idea?

Maybe we should just.. like, we

should just rest for a couple days

- and get ourselves a f***ing gun.

- No.

A proper weapon and then we

can go do that sh*t then.

No, we can't wait.

The fair's right here. It's

making plenty of noise.

All hell breaks loose, ain't

nobody gonna hear sh*t.

Now come on, break out

them f***ing masks.

Come on. Let's go.

I got this one for you.

Yeah, buddy. Whoo-hoo.

Holy sh*t! What

the f*** is that?

- It's a f***ing mask, man.

- Amazing Grace..

It's a f***ing clown mask.

Well, we needed two

f***ing masks.

And I found that there ski mask

and then I found this

here clown mask.

And for a minute I was thinking

maybe I could should go

and get another ski mask.

But then I was like, "Why

the f*** would I do that?"

'Cause this mask is gonna

work perfectly fine.

I ain't going in there with you

wearing a f***ing clown mask.

Forget that. Uh-uh.

Are you scared of

clowns or some sh*t?

No.

F***in' stop it!

Randy, I'm gonna come and

get you in your sleep, boy.

I ain't f***ing with you.

Stop it, you f***ing bastard.

Okay? Stop it.

What the f*** are

you laughing at?

Youse f***ing scared of clowns.

I ain't scared of sh*t.

F*** it. Come on, let's

go do the goddamn thing.

F***ing a**hole.

F*** you.

What the f*** is

this bullshit here?

Oh, f*** me.

Hey, you put down that there gun

or I'm gonna shoot you

with this f***ing arrow.

F*** your arrow. I got a gun.

You put it down.

You put it down and give us all

that meth you got cooked up.

Randy?

- Is that you?

- Uh..

- No.

- Bullshit!

That's Raw Dog right there.

No, it ain't.

Do I look like a

f***ing idiot to you?

You buy my sh*t every f***ing day.

I know what you sound like.

Wearing a f***ing clown mask

ain't gonna scare me none.

My name's not Raw Dog!

I oughta f***ing shoot

your ass in the head.

Sh*t, you best get that powder

or Raw Dog's gonna shoot

your ass in the head.

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