People Like Us Page #5

finish up with Television.

But if you really

want to go number one with a bullet,

there's six things

you got to know.

Six things?

Maybe l'll tell you

one day.

Thanks for not

kidnapping me.

No sweat.

(CHUCKLES)

(LOUD TALKlNG)

(R&B MUSlC PLAYlNG)

They're attracted to me

They come around like honey

'Cause l'm fly like a bee

Man, l got 'em all buzzin'

Buzzin', buzzin', buzzin'

When l come around

Round, round

They go

When l come around

Round, round

They go

When l step in your town

Town, town

They go

Yeah, it's going down

(DANCE MUSlC PLAYlNG)

JlM:
(ON MACHlNE)

You failed, a**hole.

You had three days

and you couldn't get wood?

Hymore called the FTC,

and l got them in the office

questioning the ethics

of our business.

We don't have

ethics in our business. Where are you?

JANE:
(ON MACHlNE)

Mr. Harper, this is Jane MacKenna

with the FTC Bureau

of Consumer Protection.

We've received a complaint

from the National Soup Company

about fraudulent

business practices

Please contact me

to assist you

in resolving this matter

at your earliest convenience.

Thank you.

(EXHALES)

Hi.

l'm your brother.

(COUNTRY MUSlC PLAYlNG)

Hey, um...

Oh.

-Frankie.

-Mr. Anonymous.

-You work here.

-Are you following me?

No, l had a had

a work thing in the lobby downstairs

at 8:
00 p.m. Just ended.

l thought l'd come up

and check out the view

and the pool.

Uh-huh.

You know when

people are lying

they tend to

over-invent details.

(CHUCKLES) Uh...

-That was a joke.

-Caught again.

Which you took seriously,

because maybe you are lying.

(CHUCKLlNG)

Oh, no, no.

You shouldn't use maraschinos.

They're soaked in

artificial food dye.

Some people are allergic.

Most companies

switch to natural.

lt's my job.

Cherry activist?

No, l'm sort of

a facilitator.

You're a robot sent from

the future to kill me?

Uh, corporate barter.

You know, barter,

the original form of commerce.

"Hey, you're a goat shepherd.

Sweet, l'm a chicken farmer.

"l'll trade you

25 chickens for a goat."

-Goats, huh?

-(CHUCKLES)

ls your shift over?

Yeah... Um...

(CLEARS THROAT)

Can l get you something?

That they sell here?

No, no, no, no. Look...

l swear to you

on my life l'm not

and will never

hit on you, ever.

Wow, thank you.

l'm sure that was meant

to reassure me.

No, l'm just...

l'm sure you get hit on all the time.

l'm not one of those guys...

l'm in a relationship

right now, so...

Oh, that's so great for you.

What's his name?

(CHUCKLES)

Can l get a Coke?

Ah! That will be

25 chickens, please.

l'm all chickened out.

You can owe me.

(CHUCKLES)

FRANKlE:
Management used

to let us wear sneakers,

till they decided that

that was not upscale skank enough.

(SlGHS)

-l'm sorry about your dad.

-Do you remember...

-What?

-No, you.

-No, go ahead.

-No, you were saying.

-l'm sorry you were...

-No, you.

All right, me. Um...

l was just going to ask

if you ever go

to the meeting on Colfax.

No, l just...

l came out from New York.

Because for some reason

you seem,

l don't know... Familiar.

l'm really sorry

about your dad.

That's nice of you to say,

but don't be sorry.

He was a dick.

Why a dick?

Well, he bailed

when l was little.

Pretty much qualifies him

for dick status.

How old were you?

Uh...

l don't know, eight.

So, he was in your life

eight years?

You know

what l love to do

at the end of my

really long shift?

Talk about my childhood.

l'm sorry. (STAMMERlNG)

l didn't mean to pry.

My dad died, too, recently,

and, you know,

he wasn't exactly

a gem of a human being, either, so...

l've been there.

-Sorry.

-No, no.

God, you have no reason

to apologize.

l'm the one peppering you

with questions.

l'm gonna go.

Yeah, l don't want

to keep you. l'm sorry.

-Uh... Weird running into you.

-Yes.

-Maybe l'll see you around.

-Sure.

Okay.

l do owe you

those 25 chickens, so...

FRANKlE:
Yeah.

(CHUCKLES)

-FEMALE NARRATOR: Hi there.

-Hi.

Do you have a hard time

making friends

or connecting with people?

No.

Do you feel lonely sometimes?

-Hey, Lucy.

-Hey.

Like you don't know how to

talk to anyone around you,

maybe even the people

in your own family.

Does it make you feel

frustrated? Sad? Angry?

(SlGHS)

Are there days

when you just wish

you could be

somewhere else,

or even someone else?

You may think you're

the only person out there

who feels these things.

(GLASS BREAKS)

But it's part of being human.

So welcome to people.

We're about to learn some

simple relaxation tools

to calm those angry

and frustrated feelings.

Ready? First,

accept the way you feel.

Try making a fist

with each hand, and then let go.

Can you feel the difference?

Second, find

a soothing activity to distract yourself.

Maybe it's playing

with your favorite toy,

or riding a bike.

(KNOCK ON DOOR)

-TED:
Hey.

-Hey.

-(GRUNTS)

-(MOANlNG)

-Oh, sh*t!

-(BULB SHATTERlNG)

Don't be disappointed

if you don't feel better right away.

lt takes time

to find a perfect fit.

-You want to watch TV?

-You know, my kid's

going to be up soon, so...

Yeah. Okay.

Now, counting

down from five,

let the relaxation

spread like a wave

through your whole body.

Five, four, three,

two, one.

You found his meds.

l believe so.

(CHUCKLES)

(lNHALlNG SHARPLY)

Oh, God.

l shouldn't have done this.

This is the medicine

for the nausea from the chemo.

lt's like...

l don't know what. lt's like

drinking altar wine.

-(CHUCKLES)

-Oh, wow.

You smell like your father.

Patchouli.

Oh, God.

That used to turn me on.

Oh, Mom. l'm not that stoned.

l will never be that stoned.

How did you

end up with him, anyway?

What do you mean?

You know we met at The Faces concert.

No, no, no. l mean, you're

you, and he wasn't exactly

the quarterback

of the football team.

-He was handsome.

-Mom. He was a warlock.

(LAUGHlNG)

Don't laugh at me.

You have to understand

something, Sammy.

l was the hatcheck girl

at the Troubadour.

l was 1 7 years old,

and he was like...

The king of L.A.

He said l reminded him

of Joni Mitchell.

She's the reason

l moved here.

l heard her voice

on the radio,

and l said,

"Why can't that be me?"

l could sing.

Everybody said it.

So, l came here

and l met your dad

and then l met

Joni Mitchell.

Oh, man.

l met Linda Ronstadt

and Stevie Nicks.

(SlGHS)

And Lillian Cresbauer

from Nutley, New Jersey.

One night, we were

all sitting around joking and singing,

and Jerry pushed me

toward the piano

and said, "Get up there,

Lillian. They'll love you!"

Nobody had ears

like your dad. He knew.

He knew l was good.

For Nutley, New Jersey.

So, l sang.

After that l...

l never felt

like those people were my friends again.

Wow.

You never told me that.

Why would he do that?

l don't know.

He wasn't always

easy to understand.

You know your father.

What is not

to understand, Mom? He was a f...

He was a prick.

He humiliated you.

You want to know

what was humiliating?

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